


Strangely Are Our Souls Constructed

by wormfanatic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Frankenstein (Mary Shelley), Angst, AsaNoya - Freeform, Bittersweet Ending, Everyone is pals, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Found Families, Freeform-Asanoya, Friends to Lovers, Haikyuu - Freeform, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, Mutual Pining, Not at all historically accurate, Pining, References to Frankenstein, daisuga - Freeform, haikyuu au, seriously so much pining, takes place in 1818
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:47:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 70,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26805346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wormfanatic/pseuds/wormfanatic
Summary: This man is covered in scars. They stretch across his calves and his arms, the wide expanse of that muscled chest. The man’s feet are bare, so Noya sees scars all over his soles and ankles. As he reaches for the fish, his sleeve slides down, and Noya catches sight of even more markings on his hands and arms. There is no rhyme or reason to the scars. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say that he looks stitched together, a rough patchwork of parts used to create a man.---Noya's life is changed when he finds an impossibly tall stranger in the woods, one with a past he refuses to talk about and an incredibly strange body.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Comments: 132
Kudos: 150





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Frankenstein is one of my favorite novels of all time. While I was doing my fall reread, I kept noticing similarities between Adam and Asahi, and so this was born out of that. There are a few things I want to note: this is obviously a large departure from the original novel, and these are Japanese characters in a European story. As such, there really isn't an exact location, but the time period is roughly 1818, when the novel was written. Thank you for reading!

The last thing Nishinoya Yuu expects to find in the forest is a man.

He’s just finished packing up his fishing line and tackle, the day’s catch slung over his shoulder to bring home. It’s been a good day for fishing, one that makes rolling out of bed before the crack of dawn somewhat bearable. They’re too far from the ocean for him to take Tanaka and go out on a real boat, but even so, the river has been good to him today. 

Fish is more than suitable for meat, even if he doesn’t care for the taste. Noya has been starving before, and he never wants to feel that emptiness in his belly ever again. For him, food is food, and he’ll choke it down no matter how much his taste buds protest.

He’ll return to the same place tomorrow, a secluded area on the river where the fish always seem to bite. It’s a good season for fishing, and he wants to catch as many as he can to smoke and salt before the winter inevitably arrives. His regular fishing spot is far from home, but it’s where he has the most success. The walk home is long, but Noya doesn't mind. It gives him some time to himself. Their house is small, and Daichi and Suga seem to be getting more physical with every passing day. He’d rather not watch them try to keep from pouncing on one another.

The sun is at its highest peak in the sky as he makes his way back to the farm. Their cottage is so far on the outskirts of town that it’s quicker to walk to the forest than into the main square. He loves the bustle of his town, even if it’s nothing compared to the city he grew up in, but something about the serenity of the forest draws him back again and again. Maybe it’s the constant rushing of the river or the ever-present chirping of the birds, but as Noya grows older, he finds himself spending more time in the woods. 

He’s thought about building his own cottage out here, maybe finding a nice girl from the town to settle down with, and they’ll move out here and live off the land while he works as a farmhand. Sure, Daichi and Suga don’t want him to move out, and he loves them, but they’re acting more and more like his parents every day. He’s almost nineteen now. Maybe he can move in with Tanaka while he works on building something. Women love a man with a house, right?

He’s too engrossed in his thoughts of the future to realize he’s stumbled into a campsite. He pauses, looking around. A single tattered shirt is strung over a branch to dry, and the remains of a fire are at his feet. Noya toes at the ashes with his boot. They’re cold. There’s no tent, no pack of supplies, no remnants of a previous meal. Not even a bucket for water. Whoever has been sleeping out here doesn’t have much of anything at all. A runaway child like he was, maybe?

Maybe they’ve already left and accidentally abandoned the shirt to the elements, explaining the lack of basic necessities. But still, Noya can’t erase that nagging feeling from the back of his mind. It’s an odd occurrence for someone to be out in this part of the woods. Most travellers take the main road, choosing to stop and sleep in Ukai’s inn. Even if they can’t afford the inn and sleep in their cart, they still take the road. So what is someone doing out here?

He steps over to the shirt. Up close, it’s even more tattered than it looks. The fabric is stretched as if it’s been worn by someone much bigger than who it was meant for. Holes and tears mark up its surface. Whoever wears it is probably freezing. He catches sight of one stain, looking suspiciously like blood. The blood is old and faded, rinsed out over time, but there’s another hole there that is suspiciously the size of a bullet.

“Hello?” Before he can stop himself, Noya calls out into the silence of the forest. “Anyone there?”

Silence. He only hears the usual sounds of the wood, but he can sense something else there, lurking just below. The skin on the back of the neck prickles, his body sensing he’s being watched. Rather than panic, Noya sighs. He turns up his palms to show he doesn’t have any weapons, and continues to speak. “Hey, look, I know somebody’s here. And it looks like you don’t have much in the way of food, so let me give you some fish. I’ve got plenty.”

Still nothing. He can’t believe someone could be scared of him, a man who still has the body of a boy. He knows he’s small. So whoever’s hiding from him, it can’t be someone who’s going to slit his throat from behind, not when he’s probably the easiest target for someone to overpower. It still doesn’t explain the shirt though. Someone that size could kill him with their bare hands, even with any injury like that. So who exactly is watching him?

“I’ve been hungry before. So I know you’re probably starving out here, whoever you are. I can take you back to my home. Give you some new clothes. My brother’s probably about your size. And my other brother would kill me if I left somebody without helping ‘em a little.” He sits down at the base of the tree. “So I’m not leaving until you come out.”

“You do not want to lay your eyes on me,” a voice rasps. It’s low, rumbling through the forest air. The voice of a man and definitely not a child. It would be handsome if it wasn’t so scratchy. Noya whips his head around, searching for its source. He can hear nothing but misery dripping from the stranger’s tone. “I am not like the men you know.”

“I know a lot of people. You can’t be too different.” He cracks a smile. “Look, whoever you are, I’m not gonna dart away like some rabbit after you come out. It takes a lot to scare me.”

Once again, he hears nothing but silence. “Fine,” he says. “If you’re not gonna come out, I’ll leave the fish here, and you better eat it. My home’s at the edge of the forest. You can’t miss it. So come by if you want, and I promise you you’ll get a hot meal. We've got enough for an extra person. And if you don’t have someplace to sleep, there’s plenty of people who need farmhands right now. They won't ask questions.” Noya pauses. “I’m a runaway too. So if you don’t want to be found...well, there’s no judgement here.”

He climbs to his feet and hangs two fish over the tree branch beside the shirt. He’s already starting to memorize the location of the campsite so he can return to check on the stranger tomorrow. He makes a note to ask Suga to buy more bread, and then he turns and leaves, stepping louder than usual so that he makes his exit known.

Once away from the campsite, he ducks behind a tree and watches. What kind of person speaks with such self-hatred and is alone out in the woods? 

After a while of waiting in silence, he watches the stranger emerge from the shadows of the trees. Their body practically melts out of the darkness, and they limp reluctantly into the light.

Noya’s breath catches in his throat.

The man is  _ huge. _ His body is unnaturally tall, close to eight feet. He seems impossibly broad, his build like one of the Greek gods in Suga’s books. Every single one of his muscles is sculpted into perfection. His skin has a curious gray-green cast to it, closer to a stone than human skin. Long, dark hair flows down his back. It would be beautiful if it wasn’t tangled with knots. The outline of his profile is strong and defined, though much of his chin is covered by a small beard, beginning to grow out of hand. A ragged coat drapes over his shoulders, barely enough to shield him from the cold. Because of his size, he cannot button it across his chest.

But what makes Noya’s heart fill with dread are the scars. This man is  _ covered _ in scars. They stretch across his calves and his arms, the wide expanse of that muscled chest. The man’s feet are bare, so Noya sees scars all over his soles and ankles. As he reaches for the fish, his sleeve slides down, and Noya catches sight of even more markings on his hands and arms. There is no rhyme or reason to the scars. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say that he looks stitched together, a rough patchwork of parts used to create a man.

Yet the rest of his body pales in comparison to his face. The scars extend to there as well, slicing up the skin into sections. One stretches the bottom of his chin to his left cheek, and another all the way across his nose, dividing his face into uneven pieces. More extend from the bottom of his eyes to his cheeks, while others begin at his brow and vanish up into his hairline. 

The man’s lips are black, unlike the lips of any person living or dead. As Noya watches him, his yellow eyes scan the woods, making sure no one has witnessed him. Noya remains as quiet as he can. Even from this distance, he can see the fear in those wide eyes, their color so unsettling and yet...beautiful, like the gentle firelight of a candle. The man holds the fish with disbelief, holding the two trout like they’re the most precious thing in the world. His shoulders shake as he curls around the fish, and it takes Noya a moment to realize that the man is sobbing.

What kind of life has a person like this had? What sort of accident befell him to leave him looking like that? And why is he alone and crying in the woods?

Unable to risk staying any longer, Noya turns and flees without a sound.

* * *

That evening, Suga returns from town flushed with excitement. Daichi is warming their dinner in the pot over the fire, Noya curled up on the couch mending one of his shirts. As the needle enters in and out of the fabric, he can’t banish the thought of that man’s skin, how similar it is to the fabric in his hands. He longs to see him up close, to see if that man has truly been stitched back together.  _ Or maybe, _ a voice in his head whispers,  _ that’s not the reason you want to see him again. _

“Have you heard?” Suga asks, swinging open the door. In his hands are two loaves of bread. He sets them on their little table and flops onto their old, sagging couch beside Noya. “Tendou says there’s a monster about!”

Daichi turns towards his partner, a smile already spreading across his lips at the sight of him. “A monster, huh? Whatever happened to hello?”

“Whatever. There’s more important things than greetings right now! Anyways, there’s a monster around. And it was Ushijima who saw it, not Tendou, so don’t keep saying Tendou exaggerates things!” Suga begins to pull off his boots, continuing to speak. “Wakatoshi said he was working in the fields last night when he saw something big. He thought it was a bear, but then apparently it was on two legs!”

“Sometimes bears walk on two legs,” Daichi counters gently, waving a spoon at Suga. Suga only grins in response, stepping over to the other man and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“You’re not letting me finish, my darling,” he says. “I don’t think bears wear a cloak.”

“A cloak?” Noya stills mid-stitch. “That’s...weird. Maybe it wasn’t a monster. What if it was just some really tall man?”

“A man? That’s boring. I thought you of all people would be more excited about a monster,” Suga says, poking him in the ribs. “Ushijima said it had to have been close to eight feet tall, a cloak fluttering around it. It snuck back into the shadows of the forest. He didn’t think it took anything, it just  _ watched _ him _. _ Like some kind of hunter. Isn’t that exciting?” He pauses to take a breath. “And then he said he went back to working, because we all know that the only thing that lunkhead thinks about are his crops. So I need to ask, have you seen anything out in the woods? Anything larger than normal? Any strange tracks?”

_ Tendou says there’s a monster. _ The words ring through his head. He can’t stop thinking of the man’s sad yellow eyes, the misery dripping from his voice. Suddenly his desire to tell Daichi and Suga about the man evaporates. The man is strange, almost unnatural, but based on what Noya’s seen, he’s the furthest thing from a monster.

“Nope,” Noya lies. “Haven’t seen anything. Just the usual deer and stuff.” Even as he says it, guilt wells up in his chest. He’s never been any good at lying before, especially not to his brothers.

“Is everything okay?” Daichi’s brow furrows in concern. “You’re not saying much of anything today. It’s not like you.”

“I’m just sleepy, I think. While your butt was busy sleeping in bed, I was fishing. You know, so you can eat.” He grins at Daichi with all the cheekiness he can muster.

“Excuse you, who makes the money?” Daichi teases, ladling food into their bowls.

“Actually, I do,” Suga says, and just like that, the conversation is turned away from Noya’s monster to the gentle teasing that occupies most of their daily lives. This is his favorite part of the night, when all of them are together again after a long day apart. 

Suga works long hours at the town apothecary with Shimizu Kiyoko, mixing up medicines for whoever needs them. Daichi is still in his apprenticeship as a stonemason; steady jobs for both of them. While his apprenticeship is still going on, he does odd jobs around the town as well. It’s Noya who takes care of the goats and chickens, running wild until he finds something he actually wants to do with his life. Still, even with him not working, there’s a little bit of extra money right now for them to save and spend. For the first time in his life, things are well and truly good.

Things used to be far worse. Noya remembers when his brothers would give up their meals so Noya could eat, just a couple of runaway street urchins trying to make a life away from the city they grew up in.

They aren’t his real brothers, of course, and with how different they look from one another, they wouldn’t be fooling anyone if they said they were. The two of them found Noya on the streets when he was ten, dirty and starving and sitting in a pile of trash. Even though they were only a year his senior, they seemed far older and wiser than Noya, and instantly took him in. Daichi’s father abandoned him after his mother passed, and after Suga’s parents died in a fire, none of his relatives ever came forward to take care of him. The two of them had been on the streets for three years by then. 

Noya had been homeless for a week, running away from the overcrowded orphanage he’d spent his whole life in. He’d been left as a baby with no name, and after a decade of bruises and beatings given as a result of all his troublemaking, he fled. While he nursed his wounds, he used to wonder who his mother was, if there was any possible way he could find her and take care of her. When he was at the orphanage, he used to dream of her as a small woman with a beautiful face, a woman who still loved him and regretted abandoning her baby.

Now, any thoughts of her have long since ceased. Since he’s met them, his brothers have become the family he wasn’t supposed to have, the people he loves more than anything else in the world. And he’s happy he found them.

He knows Daichi and Suga love one another in a way that’s the furthest thing from familial, and he’s completely fine with that. Neither of them have any family name they care to pass on, and Suga could care less that he’s the object of affections from many of the townswomen. When they’re in public, they’re nothing more than the closest of friends. But at home, it’s always them finding ways to touch one another, whether it be brushing their fingers together or soft kisses in the forehead. He tries to give them as many nights as he can to themselves, staying over at Tanaka’s home by the town square. After all, the walls of their home are thin, and Noya is a light sleeper.

After supper, Daichi sleeps with his head on Suga’s lap while his partner absently combs his fingers through his hair. Noya occupies the chair in the corner, still attempting to sew buttons back onto his shirt.

“Hey, Suga,” he asks, an idea suddenly striking him. “Does Daichi have any old clothes? Tanaka has a friend that could use some new ones, and they’re about the same size. I’ll drop them off to him tomorrow after I go out.”

“Yeah, he’s got plenty. You know he doesn’t get rid of anything.” Suga smiles, his eyes softening as he looks down at Daichi. “How is our Tanaka?”

“Still unsuccessfully courting Kiyoko. But what else is new?”

“Tell him I think he’s getting somewhere,” he laughs. “She actually smiled while talking about him yesterday, so he’s definitely farther than you ever got. Remember when you tried to court her?”

“Shut up!” He throws the shirt at Suga. It misses and lands on Daichi, who takes no note of the disturbance as he continues to snore. “She’s an angel sent out of heaven to bless us mere mortals. I was a fool to even attempt to be in her presence, let alone try to marry her.”

The silver-haired man chuckles, gracefully tossing the balled-up shirt back. “Aren’t you supposed to be fixing this instead of throwing this at me?”

“I’ll just do it later. You’re being annoying, so it’s more important to throw it at you right now.” 

“When have you ever known me to be annoying?”

“Every day of your life, you idiot!”

Noya tosses the shirt into the mending basket, ignoring Suga's protest to fold it. “I think I’m gonna go to sleep. I’m waking up early in the morning again to go fishing. Do you mind if I take the bread with me? I’m planning to be gone a while, if the fish are biting.”

“Fine by me,” Suga says. He bends over and kisses Daichi on the cheek. The other man stirs with a dull, sleepy groan. “Wake up, sleepyhead. We’re going to bed.”

He watches Noya. “Good night, sleep tight,” he calls after him, just as he always has. Forever looking after him.

Noya shuts the door to his room behind him and flops into bed, blowing out the candle on his bedside table. As he pulls blankets over himself, he thinks of the man in the woods again, of that sorrow in his eyes. How despite his size, he looked so small, like the scared child Noya had been in the city.

How would that face look if the man smiled? How would those strangely alluring eyes crinkle when the corners of his lips turned upwards? How would he look if he was clean, that wondrous hair swept back to show his face, his clothing fitting over his frame?

_ How would I fit into his arms? _

He groans and buries his face in his pillow. That thought is entirely unwelcome. He doesn’t even know if the man will still be there tomorrow, and he doesn’t even know his  _ name. _ Their interaction mostly consisted of Noya talking to the trees. So why in god’s name can’t he stop thinking about him? Why does the grating rumble of his voice echo in his head?

Even as Noya falls asleep, he cannot banish those thoughts of the creature in the wood.


	2. Chapter 2

Noya finds himself creeping towards the forest once again, slipping out of the house as the moon sinks ever-lower towards the horizon. Over his shoulder is a bag, filled with smoked fish, bread, and cheese. Daichi’s old clothes are at the top. The entire bag is packed to hold as much as it can, perhaps one of the only times he hasn’t just thrown everything in a sack and made it work.

He didn’t mean to leave this early, but his entire night was spent tossing and turning, his attempts to sleep entirely unsuccessful as his body wrestled with the anticipation of seeing his creature again. The memory of those yellow eyes stayed with him no matter how hard he tried to banish them.

He doesn’t know how or why, but at some point in the night, he started referring to that man as  _ his _ creature. He can’t explain it, but he just knows that the man has never had a real companion, let alone a friend. Maybe he doesn’t even have a family. Perhaps he was abandoned just like Noya was. 

_ Maybe we’ll have something in common.  _

Noya has always been good with people, at reading their emotions no matter how hard they tried to conceal them. When he was a street rat, he could charm the fruit sellers out of a few of the more bruised apples whenever they were in a good mood. From what he’s seen, this man has a heart made out of glass. A heart that has probably been trampled on and broken far too many times for anybody, let alone someone as lonely and sensitive as him.

He reaches the edge of the woods. In the earliest hours of morning, it’s only him and the distant hooting of owls, the soft, distant knickering of the horses from Tendou’s pasture. Noya tilts his head back towards his cottage where Daichi and Suga are no doubt nestled together and sleeping soundly. A single rope of fear squeezes at his heart.

What if he frightens the man? A man like that could crush his windpipe with little effort, could break his ribs without a second thought. He shivers in a way that has nothing to do with the chill of a summer night, wrapping his coat even tighter around his body. This could very well be Noya’s march to the death. 

And yet, he’s far too stubborn to turn around and crawl back into the warm safety of his bed.  _ Someone _ has to help this man before he's mistaken for a bear and shot by a frightened hunter, something that will mean certain death even for someone as big as him. 

But his creature being shot and killed isn’t the entire reason for why he’s going out to the woods to find an eight-foot-tall man.

Whatever his reason may be, it certainly isn’t selfless. But he can’t pinpoint what his real motivation for returning is, at least not yet. 

So he walks into the forest, taking a deep breath and charging in blind like he always has. He knows these trees like the back of his hand, making navigating in the dark an easy feat. It’s far simpler to move without a sound when his fishing gear isn’t here to click around. He takes special care in the way his shoes crunch the dry leaves beneath the soles of his feet, not making a sound that could scare this sad, flighty stranger away. He's lived here long enough to know that noise carries in the forest. If he makes one wrong move, the man will bolt and he’ll lose his chance to help him forever.

Noya arrives just outside the campsite just as the sun is starting to rise, hiding behind the same tree as yesterday. The embers of the campfire are dull, the coals almost entirely extinguished. For a second, he thinks that his stranger has left after yesterday's encounter. But after a moment of searching that’s more frantic than he’d like to admit, he finds that the man remains at the campsite. His body is nothing more than a large lump nestled between two moss-covered tree roots. With his dark green coat draped over him, he blends almost perfectly with his surroundings. 

He has to stop himself from sighing in relief. His stranger is still here. The white bones of the fish are picked clean, disposed of in the ashes. As Noya catches sight of them, he’s grateful for the extra food he brought in his pack. Two fish can’t be a full meal for a man built like him.

He kneels across from the man, dumping the contents of the sack at his feet. The clothes are old, but they’re clean, so Noya takes special care not to get any smudges of ash on them. He places the cloth-wrapped bundle of bread and cheese on the ground, then leans back and admires his handiwork. What was once a simple collection of items is now a proper display of gifts.

Out of habit, he takes note of the way the man sleeps, a trait that he picked up at the orphanage. He could always tell how the other children were doing by how they slept. This man sleeps like a frightened child, hugging his knees to his chest for warmth. His mane of hair succeeds in concealing over half of his face, but Noya can still discern the anxious furrow in his brow. He resists the urge to brush the hair away and look at the scars across his face, to watch how his eyes peacefully shift under his lids. Up close, the man’s scars are even more gruesome, painful and dark against the gray shade of his skin.

_ Suga could make a balm for him, _ Noya thinks. He finds himself enamored by the thought of one of Suga’s tiny jars of balm in the man’s massive hands, taking utmost care in applying the salve to his skin. But any joy in the image vanishes when he finally confirms what he’s been thinking. He’s finally close enough to see what the stranger’s markings really are.

The scars are stitch marks. Someone sewed at the flesh of this man with needle and thread, all over his body. Someone held him down and mutilated him until he barely resembled a man.

_ Jesus Christ, what happened to you? Who would do something like this?  _

With his years on the street, he’s seen plenty of things he’d rather forget. He’s seen people rotting away from the pox, children so hungry their bellies stuck out from malnutrition, prostitutes with eyes hollowed by opium. But the horrid pattern of scars has been stuck in his brain to a point where he cannot erase them, unable to stop concentrating on the way they warp and shape his skin. They hold far too many implications for him to truly think about this early in the morning.

With some reluctance, Noya tears himself away and returns to his hiding spot. As a precaution, he scrambles up the tree a little ways, just in case everything goes completely wrong. He's far too handsome and witty to die young.

And then he waits.

The creature wakes after the sun begins to filter its light through the underbrush. He wakes slowly, stirring in small fits and starts. He blinks himself awake, pushing that curtain of hair out of his vision before he sits up. When he catches sight of the gifts, his eyes widen. He scrambles away from the food, his back pressing into the bark of a tree like a frightened animal. He scans the forest for a long moment. Noya doesn’t breathe as he watches him look every way possible. Then he slowly eases out of his frightened crouch and picks up the food, studying it. 

Clearly unable to stop himself, he shovels a hunk of the cheese into his mouth. Noya watches him furiously chew, the harsh lines of his throat bobbing as he swallows. His second bite of cheese is far more subdued, and he takes a moment to savor the flavor on his tongue before swallowing. He sighs in contentment, his shoulders finally easing out of their tense position. His body seems to melt from satisfaction.

His delight in the cheese is like a child receiving a rare candy at Christmastime. Noya watches him eat the rest of his food with reverence, tearing away small pieces of bread and eating them with his cheese. Has he never even had cheese before? Noya shimmies along the branch, desperate for a closer look.

Before he can stop it, the old wood creaks under Noya’s weight. The creature whips his head towards Noya, finding his hiding place immediately. For just one second, their eyes meet. The man’s eyes are an ocean of pain, but still, he can see something gentle there, something not yet stamped out by the cruelty of the world. All of that is immediately eclipsed by fear, so similar to a deer’s when it is spotted by a predator. Noya opens his mouth to reassure the man that he isn't a threat, but he’s too late. The moment is broken in less than a second.

His large body moves impossibly fast as he springs to his feet, dropping the food and breaking into a sprint. The long tail of his coat flutters and his hair streams behind him. Noya breaks into a chase, sliding down the tree and following him. He runs in a way he hasn’t for years, leaping over roots and rocks, desperate to catch the man in his frantic flight. He needs to get to him. He needs to speak to him. He can’t let him get away, he  _ can’t. _

He trips over an unforeseen root and stumbles with a grunt.  _ Shit! _ He’s losing speed and the man’s pace has only increased. So he resorts to what’s likely the last thing one should do when they encounter a person clearly deprived of human contact.

“Wait!” He shouts, continuing to chase after him. “Wait, wait. I’m here to help you. I'm not gonna hurt you! I’m a friend!”

And miraculously, the man slows, his long strides coming to a shuddering halt. He turns towards Noya, his eyes wide with fear, a barely perceptible shake in his shoulders. Despite his abnormal height, he cowers at Noya as if the smaller man is about to strike him. Noya closes the distance between them with tiny steps, creeping towards him like he would a frightened horse.

He stands in the creature’s long shadow, craning his neck to see his face. “It’s me. From yesterday. I brought you the food and...stuff.”

“Are they coming?” The man whispers frantically, his eyes darting around as he scans for anyone else. “Your friends from the village? Have you lured me out with false promises of food? Is this forest to be my tomb?”

“No!” Noya holds his hands out in a display of openness. “Not at all. I haven’t even told anyone I saw you yesterday. Like I said, you looked hungry and...and I wanted to help. Honestly. I’m not gonna hurt you. I genuinely just want to help.”

“You’re not afraid?” The man asks. “You do not look at me and wish to scream?”

“Nah, are you kidding? I’ve seen way worse,” Noya lies through his teeth. “I promise, I’m not gonna do anything bad. I’m not somebody like that. Really.”

“Then why are you here?” He practically snarls, and Noya backs away. Seeing Noya's frightened expression, his anger dissipates, fizzling out into regret. “I am sorry. I am not used to talking to people who are not trying to kill me. I have not talked to anyone in a long time. But still, I need to ask. Why did you come to find me?”

“It's just like I said yesterday. I've been hungry like you before, and I've got plenty of food to spare. I know how that gnawing at your stomach must feel. So c’mon, let’s go back to your campsite. You can keep eating and tell me your name, and I’ll tell you mine.” He turns and starts stepping over the fallen leaves. He doesn't hear the man's footsteps behind him, so he turns back around. The creature is standing there, not moving a muscle. With his height and the stiffness of his posture, he vaguely resembles a tree.

“You coming?” Noya asks, and he can't stop the smile that comes when the creature takes a tentative step forward.

Noya starts the walk back to the campsite, constantly looking over his shoulder to see if the man is still following. The man is painfully aware of how large he is, taking care to duck every branch that threatens to hit his head. Every single one of his motions seems to be thought out with careful deliberation, as if he is almost too aware of his own size. But despite this caution, the man moves like a kicked dog, startled by every noise and slinking around to make himself appear smaller.

When they return to their original location, Noya sits down in front of the space between the two roots. The stranger stands there awkwardly, clearly unsure of what exactly he is supposed to be doing.

“Am I supposed to offer you a seat?” The man asks. “I apologize. I have never had a... guest.”

“Don’t worry about stuff like that. We’re in the middle of the woods, it’s not like I can have a chair.” He cracks another smile, letting the man settle back into the shelter of his sleeping place. Turned towards Noya, the muscles of his chest are exposed through the open panels of his coat. The contour of his body is almost  _ too _ perfect, as if someone had handpicked all of the best pieces to create a man such as this one. Noya immediately tries to look anywhere else to stifle the blush creeping up the back of his neck. It's unfair, really.

“I am sorry,” the man repeats, also desperate to look anywhere but his face, though his reason is likely entirely different. "I do not know what to say to someone like you."

“Hey, what did I tell you about apologizing? Now eat.” He pulls even more food from his bag and hands it to him. The man stiffens, clearly unsure of how to accept it. They both shift around anxiously in an awkward beat of silence. Eventually, Noya just gives up and shoves the bundle into his hands, limiting the contact between them. 

“What’s your name?” He asks, desperate to learn  _ something _ about this incredibly strange and oddly attractive man he's somehow stumbled upon _. _

“My creator did not give me a name.” The man pauses, unable to meet Noya’s eyes. “He did not think something as disgusting and wretched as me deserved one.”

“Your dad sounds like a piece of shit.” The words come out before he can stop himself. “What kind of bastard doesn’t name their own kid?”

His large body seems to collapse in on himself. “Calling me his child is… an exaggeration.” The stranger does not meet Noya’s eyes, instead staring at his food as if he has suddenly lost his appetite. “I was nothing more than the subject of his crazed fascinations. He was a man who meddled in things that should never have been touched. But that is all I will say on the matter.”

Noya stops fidgeting and stares at him for a second.  _ What are you? _ He wonders. _ It feels like you’ve barely got an identity. What kind of person calls their father their creator and doesn’t have a name? _

“Well,” Noya continues, forcing a smile onto his face, “I guess that means you can choose any name for yourself. If he didn’t name you, that means you don’t have any connection to him. You can be whoever you want to be. That’s what I did. I was abandoned.”

“You were abandoned?” The man finally looks at him. In those yellow eyes, Noya finds a shocked sort of relief. For a moment, he thinks the man will cry.

“Yup,” he says. “Since I was a baby. Left on an orphanage doorstep. Yeah, I didn’t choose my name, but I didn’t have anybody to tie me down, you know? No one abandons a kid so they can attach their name to them. So I’m just me. Nishinoya Yuu.”

“Nishinoya,” he murmurs with reverence. The word rolls off of his tongue ever so gently, in a way that makes Noya shiver. “That is a nice name. Suitable for someone like you.”

“My brothers call me Noya,” he says. “It’s a lot less of a mouthful.”

“Noya,” the man says. A smile pulls at the corner of his lips. He looks so soft in that moment, even more than Noya thought possible. He can’t believe he ever thought that this man could kill him. Within minutes, his entire demeanor has changed. He’s the sort of person who probably faints at the sight of blood, one that Suga would affectionately call a wimp. “I like that as well. Quick and short, like you.”

“What sort of name do you like for yourself? I’ve got to call you something.”

“Azumane Asahi,” he whispers after a while. “But I have had no one call me a name before.”

“I like Asahi. It’s a good name. But where does the Azumane come from, if not from your father?” The man flushes and avoids Nishinoya’s gaze, instead choosing to stare at the dirt. His hands shake slightly as he begins to speak.

“There was a...peasant family I stayed with. They did not know of my existence, and when they found me, I was...cast out. But even so, they taught me to speak and read in their own way. And I loved them, as much as a man who is not a part of their family can love. There was an old man, a blind man, and I began to think I was like his own son. Azumane was his name.” He flinches at what is likely another painful memory, and the tangles of his hair fall into his face as he curls into an even tighter ball.

“Azumane!” Noya grins, attempting to distract him from any other memories that hurt. He knows of how these things lurk below the surface; of how quick they are to rear their ugly head. “Well, that’s a lot better whatever than the name of your shitty father is. The way I see it, if you love somebody you can’t really love anymore, you’ve gotta keep ‘em close somehow.”

“You do not find it odd?” Asahi tilts his face toward Noya, finally looking him fully in the eye.

“A little bit, but hey, I’ve seen stranger things before.” Noya shrugs. “And I don’t blame you for being afraid to ever interact with them, with the life you’ve had. Now, go on. Eat. All of it is for you.”

Asahi smiles again, ducking his head as a soft blush colors his gray-toned skin. He tears off half of the bread and hands it to Noya, who gestures for him to keep it.

“Please,” Asahi says. “I cannot take all of it. You have already given me so much.”

“I brought it for you, I can’t-”

“I have never eaten with someone before. I would...very much like you to be the first.” That shuts him up. Noya accepts the bread and beams at the other man, who looks away. “You are very kind, Noya. Perhaps the kindest soul on the face of the Earth.”

“I wouldn’t say the face of the Earth, but I am pretty great, huh?” He laughs and shoves the bread into his mouth as Asahi watches with wide, curious eyes. The other man chuckles as Noya’s cheeks puff from the bread, making him resemble a chipmunk. That sound rings in Noya’s ears, so low and full of a simple joy Noya immediately commits to memory.

Oh, how he longs to take Asahi back to the cottage and have him sleep in a real bed; to introduce him to Daichi and Suga. For some reason, he can already see Asahi fitting into their little home, bumping his head on the rafters of their ceiling and milking the cows and helping Noya chop wood outside. He could be another piece in their little family, another outcast that could join their band. But something deep in his chest tells him he needs to wait for all of this chaos about Asahi being a monster to calm down first.

“You have been the only person to run after me instead of away,” Asahi says while on his last piece of bread. There is nothing sad in his tone, no grief or loneliness. He says it as if it is something he has lived through for all of his life, and Noya supposes that he has. "It is nice to have someone speak to me with kindness instead of scorn and fear.”

“You’re not scary at all,” Noya replies. “People take first impressions way too seriously. If anyone stuck around to speak with you, they’d feel the same way.”

“I suppose. But you are the first to speak to me like I am a man instead of a monster.”

“I mean, you’re a human just like anybody else. They should treat you the same as they would any other person.”

A pause. Noya can feel himself holding his breath as he waits for Asahi to answer.

“Thank you, Nishinoya,” he chokes out, voice heavy with emotion. “I have needed to hear that.”

“Of course. Everybody deserves to be treated the same. Just because you're a lot different doesn't mean you deserve to be treated the way you have." An idea comes to him, one that could just be another excuse to spend more time with Asahi. “Hey, after you finish eating, you wanna go fishing? I’ll teach you, and then you won’t have to starve out here. You can use my gear and everything.”

“You would do that?”

“Yup! Besides, my brothers will kill me if I don’t come home with any food. You wanna come?” Noya sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. Asahi carefully wraps up the rest of his food and tucks it into a hole in the tree.

“I would like that very much,” Asahi says, and starts to follow after him to the riverbank.


	3. Chapter 3

A few days later, Noya goes into town with his brothers. By the time they arrive, the market is even more hectic than usual. All around him are the yelling of vendors and farmers selling their best crops. The square is packed full of people, whether it be customers, shopkeepers hanging out on the steps of their shops, or vendors with their temporary stalls, busy selling some of their vegetables. He loves market day and the chaos that comes with it. This is his element. As much as he enjoys the quiet of the forest, he loves the endless activity of his town even more. 

Suga lets go of Daichi’s hand to fix his partner’s hair. He presses a quick kiss to his cheek while no one is looking, then slips away to the apothecary. Daichi watches him go with a dopey-eyed smile.

Noya weaves through the sea of people with Daichi at his side, scanning the crowd for Tanaka. His friend’s shaved head is nowhere to be seen, meaning he’s likely following Kiyoko around, attempting to carry her bags for her even as she kindly refuses. It’s her day off at the apothecary, and when that happens, he’s likely to not see his friend all day. Normally, he’d spend all day with Tanaka while his brothers work long into the night, but if Tanaka is busy, today will be different.

Normally, he’d take the parcels and go home to take care of the animals, but now he has plans to go meet Asahi in the forest. He’s spent most of his recent days there, trying to learn more about his strange new friend.

Asahi is definitely odd. He can recite lines from poetry and books Noya’s never heard of, but at the same time has never eaten food with a fork. He can speak of places far, far away, the kind of places Noya can only dream of, but whenever asked about why he went, he refuses to answer. The only thing he’s managed to pry out of him was that he was with his father. 

Like he does with the rest of his past, Asahi doesn’t talk about his father much, but whenever he does, his large hands begin to shake from fear. Noya longs to take hold of Asahi’s hands, to run his fingers over the lines of his scars and intertwine their fingers, to tell him that it’s alright and that he can keep him safe, that Noya won’t let anything happen to him. Despite his sometimes terrifying appearance, he likes Asahi. He likes the way his face pinks up when Noya compliments him and how intensely Asahi watches him do the most menial of tasks. He likes the stories Asahi tells him, tales about things that Noya himself wouldn't necessarily notice. Just yesterday, he told Noya of the baby crows nesting in the branches above him, making the smaller man quiet down so they could listen to their soft, high chirps. But while Asahi listened to the birds, a gentle smile upon his face as he finally seemed content, Noya couldn’t stop staring at him.

He likes Asahi, perhaps more than he’s willing to admit. He wants to comb his fingers through the other man’s hair until every gnarl is gone, to ride atop his shoulders and pluck fruit from trees to give to him. He wants to show Asahi all their animals, imagining how daintily he would hold one of their many chickens. 

But right now that has to remain a fantasy. He doesn’t know how Asahi will react to any of that. He still knows so little about the man, and he’d be lying if he said if he wasn’t a little bit afraid of that fact.

Perhaps most of all, he’s scared of how Asahi will react if Noya touches him, even if it’s just a brush of their hands. Asahi is always careful to keep his distance from Noya when they sit next to one another, a fact that hasn’t escaped his notice. There are times when he longs to close the distance between them, to lean against the other man’s shoulder and nod off, but when those thoughts make their unwelcome entrance, it’s never with Asahi around. These are the thoughts that appear in the dark nights, when his bed feels far too large and cold, and he can’t help from envisioning the larger man wrapping his arms around Noya and holding him tight.

He yanks himself out of thoughts of Asahi when Daichi stops at Iwazumi’s stall. Daichi raps his knuckles on one of the boxes holding potatoes, causing Iwaizumi to turn around. The former soldier grins at the sight of his friend, stepping out from behind the counter and wrapping the other man in a tight embrace.

“Hajime!” Daichi says, pulling away. “How’s married life treating you?”

“Shut up, Daichi,” Iwaizumi says, but he’s grinning from ear to ear. “If you keep referring to him as my husband, he’s bound to get ideas. The last thing I need in my life are more ideas.”

“What kind of ideas?” A voice purrs. A pair of arms hugs Iwaizumi from behind. “I thought you  _ enjoyed _ my ideas, Iwa.”

As he usually does, Oikawa Tooru has appeared out of the blue. Iwaizumi rolls his eyes affectionately, letting Oikawa kiss him on the jaw. Unlike Daichi and Suga, their friends are far more open in their public affection than most couples. It helps that Oikawa is one of the most influential people in the town, causing him to care less about what anyone thinks about his relationship with Iwaizumi.

“Get off of me, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi mutters, but there’s no malice behind it. The tailor grins, leaning against his partner’s shoulder. “Shouldn’t you be at the shop right now? You know,  _ working? _ The season’s almost here.”

“All the orders right now are finished, and besides, I’m forcing Kageyama to work right now.” The other man smiles coyly. “Him and Kindaichi are at one another’s throats right now. It’s just so entertaining.”

Oikawa’s two apprentices have an ongoing rivalry, one that their master finds terribly funny. One of the most renowned tailors in the region, apprentices and wealthy customers are always flocking to him for his designs. If someone wealthy stops in their town, it’s always to see Oikawa and never anyone else.

With how hard he’s worked for his reputation, he could be anywhere in the world right now, but he stays based out of their town for one reason and one reason alone-Iwaizumi Hajime. To Oikawa, it doesn’t matter what Iwaizumi does with his life, whether it be a soldier or a farmer. He’s known him since childhood, and he loves him all the same. The two are inseparable, even when Oikawa has to travel into the city for months during the debutante season, ladies of the court practically trampling one another to get to his designs and fabrics.

“You’re horrible,” Daichi laughs. “Imagine the chaos if Hinata stops by. Poor Kindaichi.”

Oikawa waves his hand, still leaning against Iwaizumi. “He’ll be fine. Sometimes he deserves to be shaken up. I thought  _ I  _ had a big head, but that boy is something else. At least Kageyama has Hinata to keep him humble.”

“Is Hinata back?” Noya perks up at the mention of his friend. Hinata has been gone for almost a month now, visiting his mother and sister a few towns over as he helps them prepare to move here.

“Just arrived this morning with Bokuto! The boy’s probably sleeping right now, the trip took a lot longer than expected. Only reason I know is because the first thing Bokuto did was go find Akaashi, so he stopped by our place.”

“Of course he did.” Daichi throws his head back in laughter. “I know he was annoyed about Akaashi not coming with them. Probably missed him like crazy.”

“We’re meeting up with everyone at the tavern tonight,” Oikawa says. “If you two and Daichi’s paramour want to come afterward. Saeko and her boys promised drinks for all of us, and if we need to, you can sleep at our home.”

“You can stop calling him my paramour now, you’ve known Suga even longer than you’ve known me.”

“I need to make sure you know what the word means!”

“Stop being an idiot and go back to work. You’ve wasted enough time here already.” Iwaizumi wraps an arm around Oikawa’s waist as the other settles into the crook of his neck. “Market day doesn’t come often, and I need to sell  _ something _ .”

“Fine,” Oikawa grumbles into his chest. “You’re so mean, Iwa.” He pecks a quick kiss on his cheek and pulls away. “I’ll see you all tonight!”

“You can come tonight too, Noya. Is Tanaka working? If not he’s welcome to join. We spend a lot less money when he’s around.” Iwaizumi grins at the mention of the barmaid’s younger brother.

“I think I might just stay in tonight, but thanks for offering!” Noya waves, ignoring Daichi’s concerned expression. “Speaking of Tanaka, I think I’m gonna go find him. I’ll pass on your invitation!”

He splits away from his friends, feeling Daichi’s stare boring into his back. He’s always gone drinking with them, even when he feels like someone’s just scraped him off the floor. But right now, he just wants to spend more time with Asahi, soaking up the other man’s tiny close-lipped smiles and the occasional laugh, Asahi’s too-white teeth flashing each time. When Asahi laughs, Noya thinks nothing of the man’s scars or his yellow eyes, because he’s absolutely mesmerized in that moment. Being with Asahi makes him feel warm in a way he’s never felt before, not with Kiyoko or any other girl.

Not that he’s going to tell Asahi any of that.

His first stop is at the bakery. As he opens the door, the tiny bell rings and the smell of freshly baked goods fills his nose. 

Behind the counter, Yamaguchi is working, smudges of flour streaking across his freckles. He looks up when Noya comes in and turns towards the bread on the racks behind him.

“Your usual today?” Yamaguchi asks, running his fingers through his hair, causing more flour to smudge across his forehead.

“You know it! Thanks, Yamaguchi.” The baker beams, putting two loaves of fresh bread into a bag along with some pork buns. “Where’s Yachi?”

“On break. She got up really early to make the pastries today, so she’s probably napping somewhere. And hey, can I ask you for a favor? If you see Tsukki, can you tell him to come by?” Yamaguchi blushes. “He’s-got an order ready. More strawberry shortcake. The season’s good for them right now.”

“Of course,” Noya says, giving an affectionate wave to his friend. He’s so proud of the younger boy. He remembers when the bakery first opened and Yamaguchi practically scampered away from nerves whenever a customer came to buy things, a little thirteen-year-old working under his father. Now, he greets everyone with an affectionate smile, and the only time he ever gets any sort of anxiety is when his best friend is mentioned. Everyone knows what’s going on between the two of them, the bakery boy and the clerk.

He passes the stores and shops as he picks up the supplies for the week, waving to the people he knows and loves. They reply with equally energetic greetings as he passes by. Even Kenma looks up from his book to nod at him when he picks up Suga’s latest order of novels from the bookshop. He would’ve said hello to Akaashi at the printer’s place, but Bokuto was hanging onto the other man and refusing to let him go, Akaashi working diligently even as Bokuto begged for his attention.

It’s midafternoon by the time Noya gets home, the sun pleasantly warm on his face. He dumps his parcels onto the worn wood of their table, digging through his bag until he finds exactly what he’s looking for. Then, he packs up two lunches, making sure to put extra in one of them, and heads out into the woods with his satchel slung over his shoulder.

* * *

  
  


“Asahi!” Noya calls out as he arrives in the grove. Sunlight streams into between the leaves, even as the clouds grow darker overhead. From his place against the tree, Asahi looks up from his book. It’s one that Noya nabbed from Suga’s stash, comically small in Asahi’s oversized hands. As soon as he sees Noya, he smiles one of his tiny closed-mouth smiles, his eyes lighting up at the sight of him, and gently sets the novel aside.

“Hello, Noya,” he says. “How was market day?”

“Absolutely great! I got you some stuff. The prices were really good today, and I got to see my friends. Hinata’s back. That’s the guy I was telling you about, the red-haired one. I’ve really missed him. He’s like a little brother!” He flops a comfortable distance away from Asahi, sinking into the mossy ground of the forest. “Didn’t get to see Ryuu, though, but I saw him yesterday at least. Oh! I got you some of the pork buns I’ve been telling you about! Yamaguchi makes the best ones. How’re the crows today?”

“Wonderful,” Asahi says, enraptured by Noya’s flood of information. He soaks up Noya’s stories of the world outside with interest, entranced by even the tiniest details of day-to-day life. 

“The littlest one finally flew, after quite a bit of coaxing from its siblings. They will all be gone soon, and I will miss them, but I have enjoyed seeing them and listening to their song.”

“Aw, that’s a relief. I’m glad that Bertrand finally flew. I was worried about the poor guy.” Much to Asahi’s chagrin, Noya named all of the baby birds, claiming that it made it easier to keep track of all of them. 

He digs a paper-wrapped pork bun out of his bag and hands it to Asahi, taking special care not to touch the other man’s fingertips. “Here you go!”

He watches as Asahi takes the meat bun, rolling it around in his hands with interest. Today, he’s wearing one of Daichi’s shirts, his old coat finally discarded in the heat. The sleeves are rolled up to the elbows, his scars on display. The fabric of the shirt barely buttons across the chest, and the pants Noya gave him are far too short, but that doesn’t matter. He looks so  _ beautiful _ as he tucks his hair behind his back, exposing the skin of his neck. Noya stares down at his own meat bun in an attempt to look anywhere else. His body urges to scoot beside the man and lean against his sturdy frame, pressing their thighs together, nestling himself against the curve of Asahi’s body-

_ Well, shit. _ He really just needs to turn his brain off at this point before it drives him into ruin. He’s already in far too deep as it is.

“Noya? Is everything alright?” Asahi asks, food halfway to his mouth. “Are you feeling well?”

“Of course, Asahi! I’m doing just fine!” The words come out far too hurriedly for his liking. He takes a bite of food to prove his point. Asahi follows suit, his expression melting into one of pure contentment as the flavor of rich dough and perfectly spiced meat hits him.

“I’ve never had anything like this,” he murmurs. Noya devours his in two bites, then starts licking the sauce off his fingers. “Thank you, Noya.”

“Pretty good, isn’t it? I’ll be sure to get some more next time I go into town. I was gonna get some of the little cakes they make, but they were all sold out by the time I got there, so I got something else. It’s not as good as Yamaguchi’s food, and I was gonna give it to you before I left, but I’m a little bit impatient.” He pulls out a neatly folded blanket, the wool soft against the calluses of his palms. “It’s a blanket! I figured you’d get cold out here, and I didn’t want you sleeping with just your coat anymore.”

“I cannot take this, Noya,” Asahi whispers, a choked sound coming from his throat as he stares at the gift. “I…”

“You have to take it! It’s a present, and I don’t want you getting sick. I got the biggest size there was, so it should cover all of you!” He passes the blanket to Asahi, whose hands are quivering once again as he holds the bundle.

“Nishinoya…”

“What’s wrong?”

“I cannot accept this.”

“Why not?” Noya asks, cocking his head. “Is something wrong with it?”

“N-no, not at all,” Asahi stammers. “It’s perfect. But...why are you being so kind to me? Me, when I look like this? Me, who has done horrid things, who is a horrid creature-”

“You’re not!” He yells without meaning to, his voice sharp and angry. Asahi clutches the blanket with white knuckles, his knees coming to his chest as if to defend himself from an attacker. Despite his size, he seems so small, a fawn cowering before a wolf. 

A memory comes to mind then, of a young and hungry Noya being backhanded by one of the matrons, the woman standing over him as his cheek stung with pain, her voice hurting his ears as she screamed at him. What had he done to get hit? Had it even been anything at all?

Realizing what his reaction has done, Noya flushes hot from shame, tripping over his sentences as he speaks in a quieter tone. “Shit, Asahi. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, I’d-”

“It’s alright,” the man says, but the stiffness of his body language says that it’s anything but.

“I just-I just don’t think you’re any kind of horrible at all. That’s why I acted the way I did. And I guess what I meant was that I could care less about your past. The Asahi I know is kind and gentle and deserving of all the meat buns in the world.”

“You believe that about me?” Asahi says, seeming to crumple in on himself. “How can you, when we have only just met? When you know nothing about the things I have done? How can you give me food and gifts and-”

“Because I want to,” Noya interrupts, watching Asahi’s expression change into one of surprise. “Isn’t that enough? I’ve seen some pretty sickening stuff, Asahi. I’ve done bad things too. Who hasn’t?” He can feel his voice rising again, his fingernails cutting crescents into his palms as his hands turn to fists. “That doesn’t mean that I’m not worthy of love or friendship. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of those same things! You’re a person, like I am. So I don’t  _ care _ about the things you’ve done or whatever things you did in the past. To me, you’re just Asahi. My  _ friend. _ ”

“Friend?” Asahi stares at him, mouth slightly agape. “You consider me a friend?”

“I mean, yeah, of course I do. Why else would I be out here with you if I didn’t want to spend time with you?”

“Friend,” Asahi repeats, tracing the scar on his hand with a glazed expression. He brushes the back of his hand against his eyes, which are beginning to glisten with tears. “Thank you, Noya. I do not know what to say.”

“Hey,” Noya says, walking over to him. “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t cry. I’m here. There’s no reason to cry.”

Without thinking about what he’s doing, he takes one of Asahi’s hands between his own. It isn’t until after he’s holding that he realizes what exactly has happened, but by then, it’s too late to drop his hand and scramble away.

And he really doesn’t want to let go, either.

Asahi’s skin is cold, his skin rough and dirt-stained from months spent in the woods. Holding his hand, he can feel the slight raised texture of his scars. Noya swallows, his heart thumping as he hesitantly brushes a thumb over one of them, feeling small punctures where a needle entered and exited his flesh.

Almost as soon as it began, Asahi stops crying, tears replaced by shock. Both of them are staring at their hands, how small Noya’s are compared to Asahi’s. Slowly, Noya pulls away, already saddened by the loss of Asahi’s skin against his own.

“Sorry,” he says for the third time in five minutes. “Did I overstep?”

“No,” Asahi says after a pause, voice husky with an emotion Noya can’t place. “Will...will you do it again?”

Even more gentle than before, Noya does. He looks into Asahi’s eyes and moves to be beside him, leaning against the rough bark of the tree and never once letting go.

“It’s going to rain tonight,” he says. “And Daichi and Suga won’t be back till morning. Do you want to-maybe come back to the cottage with me?” The latter half of this sentence comes out rushed and uncertain, and he watches the tips of Asahi’s ears pink. The giant only nods, jumping as Noya squeezes his hand the tiniest bit.

As he keeps talking to Asahi, the other man glancing down at their hands every few seconds, he can’t help the grin that spreads across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of stuff went on in this chapter, haha, but some of the other characters have been introduced. Sorry about the late update, classes have been absolutely crazy! I'm trying to update every few days, but there's a lot going on in my life so thank you for understanding!


	4. Chapter 4

All the way back to the cottage, Noya doesn’t let go of Asahi’s hand. As they walk along the dirt road, he rubs his thumb over the back of Asahi’s hand, feeling at the calluses and scars there, the raised lines of Asahi’s veins just under his skin. Asahi holds his hand like it’s made of porcelain, almost too aware of their difference in size. His palms and fingers dwarf Noya’s, and Noya has to bend his elbow a bit to properly hold his hand, but he doesn’t care, because he’s finally  _ touching  _ Asahi; finally closing the distance between them. He can’t help from swinging their arms back and forth as they continue the journey back to the cottage. Asahi is even holding his bag for him, his new blanket nestled safely inside with the remnants of their lunch. Despite the heaviness of the air and the ominous gray clouds rolling in above their heads, Noya could not be in a better mood.

“So I’m gonna warn you, some of the animals are a little skittish with new people, but don’t be afraid of them!” He says, waving his unoccupied hand enthusiastically. “The goats aren’t, though, so they’ll probably be the first to greet you. They’re like dogs, they’ll probably butt against your calves and stuff like that. Just scratch between their horns and you’ll be fine.”

Asahi halts suddenly. “Do they bite?”

“What?”

“You said they’re like dogs. Do they bite?” He looks down at him, anxiety written plainly across his features. “Dogs...do not like me.” He lets go of Noya’s hand and crouches, rolling up the hem of his pant leg to show him what lies beneath.

At the upper part of his calf is a scabbed-over bite where teeth have sunk into his leg, faint yellow bruising around the muscle. Noya winces just looking at it, but still, he kneels down to get a closer look. The wound is ugly, but at the very least, it doesn’t seem to be infected. 

“When did that happen?” He asks.

“A month before I met you,” Asahi says, getting a distant look in his eyes. “I couldn’t find any nuts or berries in the woods, and I found an empty farmhouse. I was hungry, hungrier than I had ever been before. So I went in, looking for something, anything to eat. If I had shoes, I would’ve boiled the leather off and eaten it, I was that hungry. I didn’t want to steal.” His voice begins to falter. “But there was a dog there, a big beast, and it snarled and sprung at me before I could get anything. I fell, and it bit my leg, and I had to hit it so it would leave me alone.” He looks at the ground in shame. “And it wouldn’t let go, and so I hit it again and again, and it yelped, and- and-I didn’t go into any more houses after that.” Asahi shivers. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I promise, I didn’t want to.”

Noya gets the sense he isn’t just talking about a dog.

“Hey, now. It’s okay. That’s never going to happen to you ever again. You’re with me now, okay?” Noya stands back up and smiles at him. “You’re never going to starve again, not when I’m around. I swear.” He looks back down at his injury. “Does it still hurt? Suga’s got plenty of bandages and salves at the house, so if it does, I’ll fix that up for you. It’ll probably scar, but...” He gestures at Asahi’s body, which makes the other man let out a shaky laugh, slowly coming back to the present.

It is him this time who takes Noya’s hand, even gentler than before. “Is this alright?” He asks softly, his yellow eyes full of concern. Noya grins up at him in response, ignoring the way his pulse pounds in his ears when Asahi looks at him like that, as if they’re the only two people in the world. Asahi’s hand is cold and dry. He gives it a reassuring squeeze, hoping it conveys some of what he can’t say out loud.

“Of course it is!” He says, wondering if Asahi can feel how fast his heart is thumping. 

The other man finally relaxes, some of the tension leaving his shoulders as he once again stares at their entwined hands in wonder. Noya walks on ahead, beginning to pull Asahi further down the road. The sky looks ready to burst open at any moment, and he doesn’t want either of them to get sick from being caught in the rain. 

Eventually, the familiar fields of his home are in sight, the slightly brown grass and his favorite apple tree welcoming him back. He stops in the middle of the path, whistling for the goats to come out.

Clyde immediately trots up to the edge of the fence, butting his horns against the wood. As usual, Russell and Annie are nowhere to be seen. Noya reaches through the gaps and scratches between his horns, the brown and white goat snuggling its head into his outstretched palm. Asahi stands a small distance away, as nervous as ever.

“Hey, boy,” Noya murmurs to a very content and slightly smelly Clyde. “How’s your day? Did you take good care of Russell and Annie? I bet you did. Look, today I want you to meet somebody. I know you haven’t seen a lot of new people, but he’s really nice, okay? He may be big, but I promise he’s not gonna hurt you. This is Asahi.” He gestures for Asahi to come over. The bigger man kneels, and Clyde rubs his head against Asahi’s hand. He jumps away from the goat in surprise, but Clyde is unbothered, licking Noya’s fingers in search of treats.

“It’s okay,” Noya says. “He’s an old, gentle guy. He’s not gonna do anything, and if he wanted to, he can’t come through the fence. You’re safe.”

Hesitant, Asahi places his big palm on top of Clyde’s horns and scratches between them gently. Noya pets the goat’s side, whispering in a way that causes the old goat to grunt in contentment. Asahi jumps, clearly startled, but he doesn’t move away. “He likes you, Asahi!”

“He does?”

“Yeah, those are his happy noises!” Noya beams. “You’re doing great!”

Asahi nods, still petting the goat. “I think I like him too,” he says, itching Clyde under his chin. “Are there more goats? This… this is nice.”

Noya’s heart melts even more. He looks so happy, a little bit of the tension from his body gone. Clyde has already started to lick at his hand for any chunks of carrot, something the elderly goat barely does with strangers. 

“Yeah, two others, but they’re already inside their barn. Clyde likes to run around the fields most days. You want to go meet ‘em? The barn’s right by the chicken coop. We can swing by there soon, I gotta check on the girls.”

Hand-in-hand, he introduces Asahi to their little homestead, showing him the fields and fruit trees scattered around their property before they go over to the barn. He’s proud of this place, of everything he and his brothers have built from nothing at all. He even points out Tendou’s pastures right next to them, where the redhead raises horses for all manner of activities.

“That’s Tendou. Sometimes, I go down there and help him with the horses. He’s kind of intimidating when you first meet him, and maybe a little weird, but he’s super nice! Before Daichi got his apprenticeship with Aone, he helped Tendou with the stallions, and afterward we’d all go over to dinner together.” Noya smiles fondly at the memory.

He suddenly longs to lean against Asahi’s arm. Introducing him to his home isn’t quite everything he imagined it to be, but it’s still wonderful in a way he hadn’t anticipated. Asahi is so interested in everything around him, smiling anytime Noya mentions something he’s built or grown himself, and after his initial introduction to Clyde, he seems more relaxed than ever.

“Just beyond Tendou is Ushijima’s place,” he continues to explain. “Him and Tendou are the best of friends. They go drinking together, and sometimes Tendou spends the night with Ushijima when he’s too drunk to make it home by himself, which is a lot more than you’d expect. He’s kind of a lightweight. Anyway, the three of us are the only ones on this road, and we’re closest to the forest. That’s why I spend so much time there. Well, that and you. You’re super cool!”

Asahi flushes, his blush an odd maroon on the gray of his skin, and avoids looking at him. The giant rubs the back of his neck, turning his face away.

“You’re the only person to ever say that to me,” he whispers.

“Well, it’s true,” Noya replies, rubbing his thumb over one of Asahi’s scars. “When I introduce you to Daichi and Suga, they’ll say the same thing.”

“You would do that?” Asahi stiffens, black lips parting ever so slightly in surprise.

“Yeah. I don’t know when, but I know for sure that I will. I think you’ll like them. Daichi’s always been kind of like a father, and Suga loves me, but sometimes he’s pretty wild. They’re a good balance. And I know they’ll like you. I’m pretty good at predicting things.”

“You still say you are not an angel?” Asahi asks, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he chuckles. “You rival even the best of them with all that you do for me.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not one. Aren’t angels supposed to be scary? I’m too good looking to be an angel.” Noya points at his streak of blonde hair. “This serves as only an accent to my beauty.”

“How did you get that?” Asahi asks, raising a brow. “I have been meaning to ask.”

“Lemon juice! It lightens it. Takes a while, though.”

As they walk over to the barn, Noya explains the complications of hair dye. Asahi listens with rapt attention and laughs whenever Noya tells him of his failed early attempts. When they get there, Russell and Annie are cuddled together in their pen, and the chickens are squawking away already. Noya shuts the gate to the coop behind him, ushering Asahi inside.

Noya surveys the coop, then picks up one of the rust-colored hens and strokes her feathers, the hen settling comfortably into his arms. “This is Aubrie. The poor thing was sick a few months ago, so she’s had some problems laying. I’ve been keeping a pretty close eye on her since.” He pauses, watching the chicken move her head as she surveys the space around her. “Don’t tell the others, but she’s my favorite. Wanna hold her?”

Asahi nods tentatively, but he still bends down to take Aubrie from him. The hen gives one indignant squawk, then settles into his large arms without another complaint. “Stroke down her back, as light as you can,” Noya explains. “She likes that.”

He holds the chicken like an infant, his fingers brushing back and forth between her folded wings. She almost immediately settles into his hold, always one of the most relaxed and agreeable of his hens. Finally noticing the two of them, the others come, starting to swarm around Noya’s feet for grain. Asahi continues to pet Aubrie as she starts to fall asleep, tucking her head to her chest.

The moment is shattered when the sky decides to open up.

Instantly, the ground is soaked with rain, the chickens scattering back to the walls of their little house. Aubrie ruffles her wings, squawking her discomfort at the sudden rain, and Asahi kneels to set her back on the ground. She scurries away, and as Noya locks the gate back up behind him, he’s already soaked.

“Let’s go inside,” he shouts over a sudden clap of thunder. Asahi nods, his hair already slicked back and dripping from the downpour. He takes his hand again and pulls him towards the cottage, splashing through the puddles that have begun to gather in the road. The thunder doesn’t seem to bother Asahi like other things do, but then again, Noya has no idea how many nights he’s spent out in the cold and rain, listening to thunder and lightning rage around him.

He pulls Asahi inside and firmly shuts the door behind him. Both of them are dripping wet. Noya’s teeth begin to chatter. 

“I’ll start a fire,” he says, watching Asahi survey the little cottage. The room they’re in now is the largest, where their kitchen and living room connect. Much of the space is occupied by their table and counter, both of which are in a bit of disarray. Suga’s bookshelves and medicine cabinet take up one wall. By the fireplace are the couch and a few rocking chairs gifted to them by Tanaka.Then there’s the two bedrooms, one of which is occupied by both Daichi and Suga, and finally their tiny bathroom. 

Noya takes off his boots and socks, placing them on the rug, and then walks over to light the fireplace with the tinderbox on the mantle.

Asahi strips off his coat and hangs it on one of the pegs by the door, still looking around. His clothes cling to him even more than before, the white fabric of his shirt made translucent by the rain. Noya wills himself to think about anything else as he lights the dry logs, throwing a few more into the fireplace.

“You can sit down anywhere,” he says, stoking the flames. “Warm up a little, and then I’ll make us some dinner and you can take a bath. I can’t promise that dinner will be good, but-”

He’s cut off by the loud creak of the couch as Asahi sits down on it. The giant leaps up, an apology halfway out of his lips before Noya stops him.

“It does that for everyone,” he says. “Don’t worry about it. Oh, I need to heat you up some water. There’s a barrel out back, do you mind getting it and bringing it in?”

Asahi slowly lowers himself back down onto the couch, wincing as it lets out an even louder groan. “You do not have to heat up the water for me. I am used to bathing in the river, it is truly no trouble.”  
“Have you never had a warm bath?” Noya asks, insistently pointing the fire poker at him. “Because you’re getting one today, no matter what you say. Everyone deserves a warm bath at least once in their life!” He jabs the poker at Asahi to prove his point.

Seeing Noya waving a sharp object around like a madman, Asahi decides not to resist. Instead, he laughs fondly and heads out the back entrance to retrieve the barrel. He has to duck under the doorframe to make through, and once outside, he gives him a sheepish grin, his teeth flashing in the rain. To a stranger, the glimmer of his too-white teeth surrounded by black lips would be terrifying, but he looks absolutely adorable to Noya, even giving him a shy wave as he shuts the door behind him.

While Asahi is outside, Noya rifles through Daichi’s trunk and grabs more of his clothes from the bottom, ones that he hasn’t seen the man wear in years. He then exits the bedroom and opens up the cabinet full of Suga’s bandages and salves, looking for something to help with the bite on Asahi’s leg. He sets that all on their table, shoving the parcels from the morning shopping trip aside, throwing everything he wants to give to Asahi onto its surface. By then, Asahi has returned, and they begin the arduous process of heating the water.

It’s late by the time the water is finally warm, and Asahi lugs the oversized pot to the bathroom. Noya hands him the spare clothing.

“There’s a razor in there if you want to shave. Take as long as you need-I’m gonna start on supper. Is stew okay?”

“Stew is more than enough, Noya. I cannot wait to try it.” Asahi smiles and closes the door to the bathroom. On the other side, Noya smiles back.

_ God, I really hope that’s enough water for him. _ With how big he is, the water may not be even at his knee level, but Asahi seems grateful anyway.

Already, Asahi seems at home. Maybe it’s only been a week since he’s truly spoken to the man, but Noya can’t imagine life without him. He’s kind and sweet, fitting into his life like a piece Noya didn’t know he needed. Here in his little house, he seems at peace, fitting into everything like he has always been there.

More than anything, he wants Asahi to stay with him; to stay in their town and find a job and come home to Noya at night. He wants to fall asleep with Asahi’s big arms around him, sleeping in together for as long as the chickens and goats will allow them to. He lets himself imagine waking up to Asahi’s rumbling voice, made warm and low by sleep. He thinks of dinners spent together, dragging one another home after a night at the Tanaka’s pub, fishing together in the woods. All of the tiny bits and pieces that make up a life together.

There are so many things he wants to experience with Asahi, and that realization crashes down on him like a pile of bricks. Noya sinks down onto the couch, his thoughts racing while he stares into the fire.

“Dammit,” he says out loud. It’s really all he can say. 

He forces himself to start dinner, trudging over to the counter to chop up potatoes and carrots for their stew. He focuses on the careful motions of the knife instead of his own racing thoughts. Then, he mixes up the broth. It doesn’t take long for it to start simmering, so he dumps in the vegetables. Then he stirs it over the fire, staring into the swirling soup, and only then does he allow himself to think.

So he likes Asahi. Really likes Asahi, maybe even more than he liked Kiyoko, which is saying something. She was someone who made his heart melt and his palms sweaty, but in the end, there was nothing tangible between the two of them. He’d tried to court her when he was hardly more than a boy, and since then, his feelings for her have faded into dust. Looking back on it, he wonders if that even was a real version of love.

But what worries him isn’t something a few years into the past. What he worries over is the fact that he feels those same things when he’s with Asahi. He’s had crushes on people of all genders and shapes and sizes before, but this feels like something far deeper that he’s afraid to explore.

_ You can’t like somebody just because you held their hand a few times, _ a nagging voice in his head says, and he chooses to ignore it. _ Also, he’s two and a half meters tall and probably has a lot of stuff he needs to work through, so maybe you should wait on that- _

“Noya?”

He whirls around. Asahi has gotten out of the bath, his hair dripping around him. The first thing Noya notices is that he’s shaved, the small beard he once had now a goatee. He looks comfortable, the pants Noya gave him still far too short, but the shirt is one that’s already been stretched out, and it fits his broad chest well. He looks almost normal but for the grayness of his skin and the tangled nest of his hair.

“How do you feel?” Noya asks. 

“You were right about a warm bath.” Asahi stretches, rolling out the muscles of his back. “But...I have a favor to ask. I hate to ask for another one, but… will-will you comb my hair?” He holds out a brush to Noya, the shy smile back on his face. “It was too knotted for me to do by myself.”

“Of course I can do that!” Noya beams, taking the brush and bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. “I’ll sit on the couch and you sit on the floor, okay? I may have to cut some of the knots out, but-”

“Just do it,” Asahi says quietly. “I do not care.” He sits down on the floorboards in front of the fire, letting out a low exhale. Noya sits on the couch behind him, crossing his legs. Asahi’s hair is a tangled mess, and he runs the brush through slowly and carefully. It doesn’t take long for it to get caught on the first gnarl, and he begins to attack it, the hairbrush getting caught immediately.

“Sorry, does that hurt?”

“A little bit, but please, keep going.” Noya continues his attack on Asahi’s hair, pausing whenever he hisses at the tugging on his scalp. At one point, he grabs a pair of scissors and hacks at some of the knots, too far gone for him to even consider saving them. Asahi takes it all in stride, only flinching slightly when Noya is too forceful. 

They settle into an easy conversation, one that takes Noya’s mind off of how close he is to Asahi’s neck, his shoulders. After his bath, he smells of soap and a faint smell of warm spice, like rich and heavy apple cider. He smells like Noya’s favorite time of year, where some of his best memories have taken place.

Eventually, their quiet conversation turns into a competition as they try to tell one another their best jokes. By the time Asahi’s hair is all combed out, both of them are red-faced and teary-eyed from laughter. Neither of their jokes are anything close to comedy, but that doesn’t seem to matter. Asahi’s laughter is rolling and wonderful, and when he truly laughs, his entire body shakes, making it even harder to successfully brush his hair.

After the remnants of their laughter cease, Noya trims at the last little bit. Asahi’s hair is still falling around his shoulders, but what was once a nest of burrs and knots is now smooth and straight, warm brown strands hanging past his collarbone. An idea comes to Noya then, something he used to do for the girls at the orphanage on the warmest days.

“Can I try something? It’ll be easier for your hair to stay clean this way, and your neck won’t be hot if you wear it like this.”

“Do whatever you wish.”

Noya’s fingers brush at Asahi’s neck as he lifts his hair. He doesn’t miss the other man’s ragged inhale as his fingers make contact with his skin. Noya drags his fingertips across the back of his neck, gathering up all of the hair at once, warmth gathering in his core. He lets his touch linger as he retracts his hand, finally breathing out.

He then takes a strip of cloth and ties Asahi’s hair back into a tight bun, much like he’s seen the women in town do. A few tendrils of hair have escaped the bun, but it’s still perfectly functional.

“All done,” he murmurs, slowly lifting his hands from Asahi’s scalp. “Can you turn around?”

Asahi obliges. Without his hair in his face, he can see the strong lines of his jaw, the shape of his lips. His scars are more on display now, but the neatness of his hair and his new clothes make him a far cry from the man Noya first saw in the woods. The bun suits him, his hair framing his face in a way both pleasant and intimidating. He seems to him like a statue, a beautiful man lovingly sculpted out of stone, and he finds himself leaning closer, inhaling.

Asahi’s large hand reaches out, and now it is him who is touching Noya, his skin impossibly cold against the heat now flooding his face. He cradles Noya’s cheek in his palm, the smaller man leaning into his touch. For once, it is Asahi who meets Noya’s half-lidded gaze, staring at him with his candlelit eyes. He blinks, long lashes brushing against his high, sharp cheekbones.

“Thank you,” he whispers, a strange heaviness in his voice. “I have not said it enough to you, Nishinoya Yuu.”

“It’s really no problem, I swear.” Noya drifts even closer to Asahi, his own hand creeping towards Asahi’s face. “You deserve all of it.”

“Do you really think that of me?” Asahi murmurs. “What makes you say that?”

Before he can respond, the soup begins to boil loudly. Asahi lets go of Noya’s cheek and turns back around. Noya races over the fireplace, wincing at the sight he sees in the pot.

“I think I burnt it a little.”

“I’m sure it’s perfect,” Asahi replies, standing up from his place on the floorboards. “Where are the bowls? I’ll go get them.”

Noya points at the cupboard, stirring the soup again. It’s not irretrievably burnt, but he’s definitely messed up the one thing he knows how to cook for certain.

Dinner is a quiet affair, both of them tired from the day’s events. Noya finds himself staring at Asahi across the table, and the other man smiles when he notices Noya looking at him. He struggles to hold the tiny spoon in his hands, but he manages. Even after dinner, the feel of Asahi's calloused hand on the smooth skin of his cheek lingers. Their evening is spent in a comfortable silence. Asahi bandages his wound, rubbing salve across the bruised and cut muscle while Noya rinses the dishes. As he rubs a wet rag over them, he can feel himself growing sleepier.

“Do you mind if I go to bed?” He asks after the dishes are toweled off and put away. “I’m beat.”

“Not at all. I’ll take the sofa.” Asahi takes his hand again, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Thank you for letting me stay the night.”

Noya squeezes Asahi’s hand back, smiling up at the other man. “Goodnight, Asahi.”

“Goodnight, Nishinoya.”

His bed feels far too empty that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so fun and fluffy to write! It turned out way longer than I meant to, whoops, but what can I say, I'm a sucker for farm animal content. The goats are based off of real goats that I love very much.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, Noya rolls out of bed early to take care of the chickens. When he steps out of the room, creeping over the floorboards in his socks, he catches sight of the still-sleeping Asahi. The large man has tossed and turned in the night, loosened out of the tight ball he normally sleeps in. His arms and legs are splayed all over the couch in a starfish position. His feet stick out from under his new blanket, and his face is turned into his forearm, a few loose sections of hair draped over his face. Noya carefully covers his feet up, smiling down at the man. He’s even more adorable when he sleeps, the worry that causes his expression to draw tight gone as he sleeps. Small puffs of air escape his lips.

The morning air is brisk and cold, so Noya relights the fire, taking care not to wake Asahi up. Who knows how long it’s been since he’s gotten a decent rest. The other man stirs, rolling over a little, but he doesn’t wake. Noya casts one more look at the sleeping man and heads outside.

The grass is damp from the previous night’s storm, and the dirt road leading up to his home is even worse. He splashes through the puddles in an old pair of boots, going into the barn to get the bucket of grain. The goats are already up and awake, and the hens are nestled together in their coop.

Annie comes up to get the grain first. She’s pregnant with her third kid, and as her term advances, she’s begun to move slower and slower. Still, she’s always the first to the food. Noya brushes her head affectionately as the goat sticks her head down into the bucket of feed.

“Hey, pretty lady,” he says, kneeling down. She makes an annoyed bleating noise as Russell butts her out of the way to get to the food. Clyde is likely already out patrolling the fields, and he shakes some extra grain into the trough for him. Noya pets both of his goats at the same time, laughing as they nose at his pants for snacks. He plans to get another doe come spring, and if Asahi stays with them, they’ll definitely need more milk and cheese to feed the big man. Feeding an extra person all year round is hard, but it’s not that Asahi staying would ever be considered a problem in his eyes.

Whatever happens, he never wants Asahi to be alone like that ever again. He’s known a lot of things in his lifetime-hunger, pain, fear- but nothing like that loneliness Asahi must’ve felt, alone in the forest with the knowledge that his only family left him to die. If Asahi’s father ever comes looking for him, he’ll be sure him and Tanaka will beat the man entirely senseless.

Noya creeps away from the goats, listening to the early morning birdsong as he feeds his clucking hens. All of them swarm around his feet as he scatters their feed around, tilting his head back to soak up the morning sun. Then he goes into the henhouse, grabbing the basket from where he left it. As the hens peck at the feed upon the ground, it’s a simple matter of gathering the eggs from their nest. He hums a song as he works, a bawdy tune he often sings with Tanaka. It isn’t until after all the eggs have been gathered and his humming ceases that he realizes that someone has been calling his name.

“Noya?” A small voice calls from the house. He exits the coop, peering around the side of the barn. His heart sinks when he sees Asahi standing in the entrance of the door, his blanket wrapped around him. He draws the fabric across his chest, looking about frantically. “Nishinoya?” His voice cracks on the last syllable. “Where are you?”

_ Shit, shit, shit. _ He wanted to be inside when Asahi woke up, to reassure him that Noya hadn’t abandoned him.

“Sorry, Asahi!” He waves a hand. Asahi sees him and practically collapses against the doorframe in relief. Noya stops sprinkling grain and exits the coop as quickly as he can, jogging over to him. “Is everything okay?”

“I-I thought you left. And I woke up and you weren’t there and-” Asahi’s breath comes in shallow gasps, his eyes widening and chest heaving.

“Hey, breathe. It’s okay, I’m here. I didn’t leave. I just didn’t want to wake you. I’m sorry, I should’ve left a note or something.”

“I’m sorry for reacting like this.” Shame drips from his voice. “I just-” He cuts off then with a deep inhale for breath, his knees bowing as he grows unsteady. Noya grabs his arm so he doesn’t fall. His panic has dug its nails into him far too deeply.

“Don’t speak. Just breathe, okay? Find five things around you and name them. Focus on those. Not your thoughts. Not your anxiety. And I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Just focus.” Noya stays, a comforting hand on his bicep, looking up as Asahi closes his eyes and reopens them, following his advice. They stand there in the silence of morning, Noya listening as Asahi’s breathing begins to even out.

“I’m sorry,” Asahi repeats. He hangs his head in shame. “I just woke up and...my fears got the better of me. I thought you left, and I-I got scared.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of, Asahi. Not after what you’ve been through. If you don’t mind me asking...is it like this often?”

“...Yes.”

At that single word, something cracks inside of him. He finds himself reaching for Asahi’s hand, but Asahi’s is already grasping for his, their wrists bumping into each other. Noya laughs shakily, unsure of how to respond in a moment like this. He leans against the other man’s arm, Asahi relaxing at the contact. He presses his cheek into the hard muscle of his friend’s body, shielding Asahi as if he is the smaller one, keeping him from falling.  _ I don’t want anything bad to ever happen to you. Please. Just stay here, leaning against me until you feel alright. Let me hold you up. I won’t let go. _

“You’re stuck with me,” he says after a while, after Asahi has finally composed himself. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you anymore. That’s a promise. That means no more nights out in the forest, if you’re comfortable with it. When my brothers come back, I’m gonna introduce you to them, and I’m sure they’ll let you stay. I’ll  _ make _ them let you stay, if it comes to it. You’re going to spend the rest of your days with a roof over your head and plenty of food, y’hear?”

“Being stuck with you was the best thing to ever happen to me, Nishinoya Yuu.” The tips of Asahi’s ears blush their strange color, and Noya immediately feels his own face begin to warm. He’s thankful he’s turned into the other man’s sleeve, where he can’t see the pink spreading across his cheeks.

“I like being stuck with you, too. That’s why we’re staying together, okay? Now, come on. I’ll make you some breakfast. You deserve it.”

He pushes Asahi back inside the cottage, almost hitting the other man’s head on the doorframe. He ducks just in time, both of them bursting into fits of laughter. As they laugh, Noya still clinging to Asahi’s arm, the panic from earlier begins to dissipate. He seats Asahi down at the table, setting the basket of eggs beside him. Noya gets out two plates and the bread, preparing to make a simple breakfast of bacon, eggs, and bread. Asah carefully hands him two eggs from the basket, the small brown spheres fitting easily into his palms. 

He’s cut off from his work when a familiar whoop of laughter sounds from down the road. Asahi looks up in alarm, placing the eggs back into their basket.

“What’s going on?” He whispers. “Who is that?”

“My brothers are coming home,” Noya says, pulling Asahi to his feet. “I wasn’t expecting them to come home from town this early. Normally they’re out until midafternoon.”

“Do you need me to leave?” Asahi looks towards the back door. “I think it might be better if I did.”

“No, no,” Noya murmurs, taking a hold of both of Asahi’s hands. He looks up at him, seeing the other man’s anxiety beginning to return. He brushes his thumbs over the backs of his hands, bringing Asahi back down to earth. Asahi stares down at him, so much reflected in those oddly beautiful eyes. He wonders what he would see there, if he looked for long enough. “Why don’t you just go in the barn for now? That way you’re still close and you don’t have to leave. And I’ll prepare them to meet you. I’ll tell them everything.”

“Alright,” Asahi says, forcing a smile. “Thank you, Noya. I am not the best with introductions, as you know from meeting me.” His laugh lacks any of the mirth from minutes ago. 

“That’s what I’m here for, okay? Now you just go wait in the barn. I’ll be out in a few.” He watches Asahi exit out the back door, likely to sneak around the house and into the barn’s entrance, where he’ll probably tuck himself away in the hayloft. He’s noticed Asahi’s love for small spaces, the big man cramming himself wherever he can. Noya thinks of Asahi tucking himself into his arms, their legs entwining, his face against Noya’s collarbone.

_ Soon, _ he thinks with steely determination, and walks outside to meet his brothers.

Suga’s light hair glistens in the morning soon. He leans against Daichi, giggling. Tanaka walks beside them, a shit-eating grin on his face. As soon as he catches sight of Noya, he lets out a wild shriek and sprints toward his friend. Noya breaks into a run, feet slipping in the mud. The two collide in midair as they jump for one another. The air is knocked out of his lungs as Noya lands neatly on his feet. Tanaka is less lucky, stumbling on the wet ground. 

After he regains his footing, Tanaka locks him in a tight embrace, and over Noya’s shoulder, he sees Daichi raising a single eyebrow in blatant judgement. Noya sticks out his tongue.

“Last night was wild, man! Why didn’t you come?” Tanaka elbows him in the side. “You didn’t hear it from me, but Suga got so smashed Daichi had to  _ carry _ him upstairs. Ain’t that wild?”

“You know that’s just usual behavior from him,” Noya says. Suga sputters in protest, coming over to punch Tanaka in the shoulder, making him rub the spot with a wounded expression.

“You weren’t supposed to tell him that,” he hisses. “Now he’ll think I’m a lightweight and that he can drink me under the table, which he  _ can’t _ .” Daichi slings an arm around Suga, leaning his head against his shoulder.

“You’re just mad that Oikawa was able to beat you at shots.”

“So what if I am? He’s  _ never  _ done that before! I’ve been dethroned!” He throws his arms up in frustration. “Yesterday was just a bad day for me. I can’t believe I lost that bet after two years.”

“Yeah, it was crazy! You should’ve been there, Noya. Saeko had to kick us out this morning. Said she needed rooms for actual customers. Oikawa paid her for the day so he and Iwaizumi didn’t have to get out of bed before noon. Unbelievable!” Tanaka shakes his head.

“Speaking of Big Sis, shouldn’t you be at work?” Noya asks. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Gave me another day off! Said I was being annoying and she didn’t want me limping around the place with a hangover. Not that I’m hungover at all.” He grins his familiar catlike smile, then his face softens. “That means I’m gonna bring Kiyoko lunch at the apothecary and keep her company.”

“Company, huh?” Daichi says, giving Suga a knowing look. “If you moon over Kiyoko all the time, she’s never gonna get any work done.”

“Worth it. She’s literally the most perfect person to ever walk the Earth. Yesterday, she actually  _ let _ me carry one of her bags. Thought I was gonna pass out right then and there.” He shakes his head in wonder. “I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

“Hm,” Suga says, pressing closer to Daichi. Noya rolls his eyes affectionately. He loves his little family and the joy that they bring in their wake. Hopefully Kiyoko and Asahi will be with them by next winter, sipping cocoa and laughing at their jokes.

“You guys want breakfast? I was just about to make some.”

“Breakfast would be wonderful. Do we have any tea? I’m in desperate need of a cup.” Suga walks inside. “Come on in. I don’t trust you to make anything. I’ll do the cooking today”

“I can cook!”

“Sorry Noya, but my taste buds say otherwise.” Daichi winces. “The last meal you made me was black at the bottom. I had to scrape parts of it off.”

“You’re exaggerating! It wasn’t that bad!” Noya calls over his shoulder as he walks inside. Tanaka, knowing where everything is placed at their house after years of coming over, has already begun to get the plates and bowls out of the cupboard. Suga has taken a few of the eggs from the basket and begun to crack them over a pan.

“Is that a new blanket?” He asks, pointing at the couch with his spatula. Asahi’s blanket has been left behind, neatly folded on top of the cushions. Curse Suga and his far too observant eyes.

“Yeah, got it yesterday! You like it?” Noya says, hoping he doesn’t notice the way his voice comes out far too high.

“It looks...long. Do you really need a blanket that big?” Suga raises one eyebrow, likely about to ask another question, but instead he mercifully goes back to fixing the eggs. Tanaka slams down onto the bench beside Noya, a piece of bread hanging from his mouth.

“Difueavsomfonuffer?” He asks with his mouth full, waggling his eyebrows.

“What?” Noya watches Tanaka swallow the large bite of bread. It’s almost impressive how much food his friend can swallow without choking.

“Did you have someone over?” He nudges Noya. “Is  _ that _ why you didn’t want to go drinking last night?”

“News to me,” Suga says, poking at the half-cooked eggs. “Well? Is it true?”

“No!”  _ Yes. I had someone over, and he’s the tallest person I’ve ever met and refuses to talk about his past, and did I mention he’s covered in scars that look like someone took a needle to his skin and pretended he was a piece of embroidery? _

Oh god. He really has no idea where to start. Asahi is strange, and he knows it, but how do you even begin to describe someone like him? How can he ease them into the fact that Asahi is just a normal man, albeit one without any social skills?

He’s just about to start telling them all about Asahi when he looks around, suddenly noticing the missing member of their party. “Where’s Daichi?” There is a distant sound, like clanging metal, and dread begins to press heavily on his chest.

“He went to check the barn. Wanted to see how Annie and that kid of hers are coming along. Why?” Suga turns around, looking concerned. Noya feels the blood rush out of his face as he pictures Asahi, alone and cowering in the hayloft. Daichi will not take kindly to a stranger on his property. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ll be right back,” he says, nausea coiling in the pit of his stomach. Before he knows it, he’s running out of his house, thankful he’s left his shoes on. He ignores Suga’s sharp noise of concern and Tanaka’s confused grunt and sprints towards the barn, praying he’s not too late.

The barn door is half-closed, and Noya flings it open. The scene he witnesses makes his heart sink.

Daichi holds a pitchfork across his body, his shoulders heaving as he pants. Something gleams on the points of the pitchfork, something that looks like blood, but the strange liquid seems far too thick and deep of a red to be human blood. The goats are bleating, the chickens squawking at the disturbance. A crate of supplies has been knocked over and scattered all over the hay-strewn floor of the barn, likely the source of the clanging metal he heard only moments ago. Noya searches for Asahi, his eyes darting from spot to spot until he finds him, looming in the darkness. He gasps, unable to believe his eyes.

This is not the Asahi he has come to know.

He stands at his full height. Against the white of his shirt is a stark wound, likely made from the pitchfork. That strange dark blood leaks from its entrance, but he seems unaffected by the holes it has made in his body. Most of his hair has fallen from its bun, draping over his shoulders, and he stands with his feet spread, his stance making him tower over Daichi. His lips are drawn back from his teeth in an inhuman snarl, those yellow eyes practically glowing with rage. He looks terrifying, like hell incarnate, and he stares at Noya’s brother with nothing but rage behind those horrible eyes. Gone is the Asahi who laughs at Noya’s jokes and holds his hand as if it’s something to be protected. This is someone else entirely, the Asahi who has been hurt and injured by the people of the world, an Asahi prepared to fight for his life. He doesn’t even seem to register or the open door leaking the golden light into the barn and Noya, standing there in shock.

“Noya, go get Suga,” Daichi says through clenched teeth. His voice remains calm and level, unflappable even in a situation like this. “Get out of here.”

“Daichi-”

“Get out. I’m not risking you getting hurt.”

“Daichi, I can explain-” Noya begins, but his voice falters as Daichi shifts toward him. Part of his arm is scraped as if he has fallen and then been dragged across the ground. “Asahi?” He hears himself say. “What’s happened?”

“I’ve found a thief,” Daichi says, not registering the name Noya has just uttered. “Now stop being stubborn and get out of here before I have to tell you a third time.”

Without thinking about what he’s doing, Noya runs in front of his brother, placing himself between the two men.  _ “Listen to me!”  _ He yells, the words scraping his throat. “He’s not a thief! He’s a-”

“Noya?” He hears Asahi whisper from behind him, finally registering his presence. He hears something heavy thump against one of the supports of the barn, as if he has fallen against it in surprise.  
He goes to turn around, to reassure Asahi that it’s fine, that they’ll figure this out with no more bloodshed. But suddenly Daichi-brave, stupid Daichi-has let out of war cry and is running towards Noya with pitchfork in hand as if to shove him out the way from something. Caught mid-turn, he has no idea what’s happening on either side of him. Daichi reaches for him, grabbing a hold of his arm and jabbing his makeshift weapon in Asahi’s direction, and Noya goes to pull away from him, placing himself between the sharp tines of the pitchfork and Asahi’s flesh.

And then suddenly they’re both knocked into the posts of the goat pen, the breath leaving Noya’s lungs. Black spots swim at the corner of his vision as his head makes contact with the wood, his skull cracking hard against its surface. He lands on his wrist, feeling a sharp bite of pain that resonates from deep in his bones. He blacks out for what feels like a split second, sluggishly wondering what’s happened. His thoughts drag along at a snail’s pace as his vision swims.

He’s barely aware of his brother beside him. Daichi groans in pain. He hit the wood first, breaking Noya’s fall with his own body. He sounds bruised and maybe a little sprained, but he’s making noise and that’s far, far better than silence. The pitchfork is halfway across the barn, flung from Daichi’s hands.

He forces himself to look at the door through his darkened field of view. All he can see is Asahi’s retreating back as he sprints away from the barn, those impossibly long legs moving under him as he  _ runs, _ holding one arm over his wound to staunch the bleeding.

“Asahi,” Noya croaks, wincing as he collapses back onto the ground. “Asahi.” He tries to get to his feet again, even as he begins to see spots swimming across his view.

“Noya,” Daichi says, reaching for him. “What’re- you doing?”

“Have to go get him,” he mumbles, finally climbing unsteadily to his feet. He sways, attempting to blink those horrible spots away. “Can’t let him get away-promised him he wouldn’t be alone-” Tears start spilling down his cheeks.  _ I promised. I promised him a roof over his head and a happy rest of his life and I’ve ruined all of it by saying he could wait in the stupid barn. _

He hears a cry from someone that sounds like Suga and the pounding of feet as someone runs over to them. He falls again to his knees again, wondering how he’s even still conscious. His legs feel impossibly weak, unable to support the weight of his own body.

“What happened?” Tanaka grabs him, shaking him even while Noya drapes his body over his friend. “Are you okay? What was that?”

“‘M fine. Hit my head,” he mumbles, tears still streaking down his face. “I gotta go after him-”

“Noya, who was that?” Suga asks, helping Daichi into a standing position. An ugly yellow bruise is already spreading over his left cheek, and the scrape on his arm has gotten worse. “How did you know he was here?”

“He’s-he’s my friend. He’s different, okay? And I meant to tell you all about him but he’s not the best with people so I was going to ease you into meeting him-” He inhales shakily, vision finally coming back into focus. “And I have to go after him, because otherwise he’s going to get away and-”

“No, you’re not doing that, you can barely move! You’ve hit your head. Tanaka, carry him.” His friend drapes Noya over his shoulders, even as Noya protests. He punches Tanaka weakly in the back, but he’s still carried away from the barn, away from the forest he knows Asahi has fled into.

Once inside the house, Tanaka deposits him gently onto his mattress. He curls up, tears wetting his pillow.  _ My fault my fault my fault _ pounds in his head, over and over, beating into his skull. He doesn’t know how long he stays there, crying in a way he hasn’t done since he was a child.

Suga comes in, and he hears him tell Tanaka to get Ennoshita, the town doctor. His brother checks around his head, lifting him and propping him up onto pillows. Daichi limps in, one arm in a makeshift sling.

“Noya,” Daichi says, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Who was that?”

“What did you do?” Noya asks into the pillow, refusing to look at either of them. “He’s gentle and sweet and he’s never reacted like that before. And he’s my  _ friend _ .” His breath catches. “I found in the forest, and he was starving and crying and so I’ve been going to see him for a few days. I brought him back last night, because he hasn’t been sleeping with a roof over his head and he has nothing but-”

“Slow down,” Suga says. “Why was he in the barn?”

“He’s...he’s got a lot of scars. He’s not good with people looking at him. He’s been hurt and injured and called a monster.” Noya finally looks at the two of them. “So I wanted to ease you guys into meeting him, because he’s kind of surprising to look at for the first time! And so I told him to go into the barn to wait but I didn’t know Daichi was going to go in and it’s  _ my  _ fault this happened!”

“Oh, Noya,” Suga says, reaching out to brush his hair down. “It’s not your fault. People make mistakes.”

“But now he’s injured and he probably thinks he’s alone again…” Noya hiccups, snot starting to run from his nose. “Why did you run at him, Daichi?”

“I thought he was going to hurt you,” his brother admits. “He started moving towards you, and Noya, I’ve never been so scared. He’s almost twice your size. So I ran to get to you, and then he fled, and he pushed us into the pen to get past us. That’s how we wound up like this.” Daichi smiles, but it lacks any mirth. “Your friend packs a hell of a swing.”

“I have to go after him,” Noya says, trying to climb to his feet. “Let me go, guys. I have to go find him.”

“No,” Suga protests, reaching out to shove him back down into bed. Daichi grabs his lover’s arm with his free hand, a wordless conversation passing between them. Suga glares daggers at Daichi while the sturdy man only shakes his head. Eventually, it is Daichi who emerges triumphant. Suga retracts his arm and places it on his lap, making no attempt to hide his anger.

“It’s my fault,” Daichi says. “Bring him back, alright? I made a pretty bad first impression, and I’d like to apologize. But you...stay safe.”

Noya swings his legs off the bed, his brothers helping him out the door. His head is pounding, but he grows steadier with each step, adrenaline keeping him from passing out. He can hear Suga saying something behind him and then Daichi’s hushed words of reassurance, but by then he’s already making his way down the path.

Once he’s out of the view of the cottage, he breaks into a run, even as he gasps for breath. One of his ribs is probably bruised from his fall, but he has to go; has to get to Asahi before the man is out of his reach.

Because he’s not leaving him to suffer alone ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for leaving it on a cliffhanger, but life is finally slowing down and I should have Chapter 6 out before long! So much went on in this chapter, but angst is really fun for me to write, so I have no regrets lol. As always, thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for gore and mentions of suicide. Please stay safe, friends, and know that you are loved.

“Asahi!” Noya’s voice echoes throughout the forest, bouncing off of tree trunks and returning to him without a response. “Asahi, it’s me! Come back! I’m sorry!” Leaves crunch under his feet as he walks slowly through the forest, keeping his eyes peeled for anything that may suddenly move. His bruised rib aches more with every step, and his head is pounding, but that’s of little importance to him right now. He’s not letting Asahi get away, not abandoning his friend to the elements and the forest again.

What happened at the barn was his fault for a variety of reasons. It all happened impossibly fast, and by the time it was over, Asahi was gone. Noya has to find him for his own stupid, selfish reasons. His heart aches from the possibility of never seeing him again. Perhaps it’s stupid to feel so close to someone he’s only known for a little while, but he knows well of his tendency to fall fast and hard for people. Asahi, as odd as he may be, is no exception.

So he keeps walking, hoping to see some flash of yellow eyes or the sounds of someone heavy moving away, listening for the sound of Asahi’s heavy footfalls. But he doesn’t notice any of that, even as the sun rises and falls and his mouth grows parched from a lack of water. His shirt sticks to his skin from sweat. Today’s morning seems like ages ago, his time filled by his steps and and his mind occupied by the storm of his thoughts.

He collapses against a tree, taking a moment to breathe. “Asahi!” He calls again, even as he knows no one will answer. “Where are you?” He whispers, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

_ I’m not the best with someone like you. Sometimes, I’m too rough. I rush things and charge into situations without thinking at all. And that scares me, sometimes. I mean, I got hurt today because of it. We’re complete opposites, you and me, but I can focus with you in a way I haven’t really seen before. I like focusing on you, I like seeing you and listening to you speak. And I don’t want to lose that. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. _

He sinks to the forest floor, sighing. Maybe he’s selfish, thinking like that. But it’s the truth. Asahi is different, and maybe that’s what he needs to finally grow into someone he wants to be. He’s always been quick to laugh and smile, but with Asahi, each one is entirely genuine. As much as he loves town, he’s known there as Daichi and Suga’s quick-witted little brother, good for a laugh or a prank. Never anything serious. He’s found solace in that version of himself, the Noya that everyone loves and adores.

But Asahi brings out a Noya that he likes having around, a Noya that he wouldn’t mind showing people when all is said and done. Now either of them may never get a chance to present the best versions of themselves. He just knows that Asahi could be wonderful and confident, a lighthouse in the middle of a storm, if he just had some time to heal.

His heart aches. It could be from the bruised rib. He really doesn’t know, and he doesn’t particularly care. What he needs to do more than anything else is to keep moving. To keep chasing after Azumane Asahi because he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life without him. Because he wants to see him turn into someone he wants to be.

Noya sways slightly as he stands, black spots creeping at the edges of his eyesight from standing too fast. He reaches out for the tree to steady himself, determined to press onward, but instead he’s falling again.

He lands face-first into the leaves, and before everything goes dark, he’s overwhelmed by a sense of sharp, bitter failure.

When Noya regains consciousness, he’s surrounded by a vaguely familiar scent. He stirs, groaning slightly as his eyes struggle to open. As he breathes in, his thoughts awakening along with the rest of him, he recognizes that smell a second later. It smells of warm spices and soil, of his favorite time of year when the harvest is at its peak.

As he opens his eyes, he notices the coat next. He’s been wrapped in faded deep green fabric. The sleeves are far too long for him, and despite the fact that he’s just awoken from his fainting spell, he smiles. He knows this coat.

“Asahi?” He says, his voice scraping out from his mouth. He licks his lips, dry tongue like a slab of jerky in his mouth. “Are you there?” He draws the fabric around him, looking up at the sky. The sun has just fallen. He’s been out for a very, very long time. Despite that fact, his skull still throbs with dull pain. Daichi and Suga are likely worried sick.

“Nishinoya.” His name comes hesitantly from Asahi’s lips. He turns his head to the side, where Asahi is sitting, kindling a small fire. He avoids looking at Noya, poking a stick at the embers. His eyes are puffy, as if he has been crying, and the wound on his shirt is still open with no bandages to cover it. Dried blood marrs the white fabric. But he’s here, he’s alive, and he’s at the very least speaking to him.

Noya feels the tired muscles of his face stretch into a grin. “Hey,” he manages. Asahi still doesn’t look at him, his gaze placed unwaveringly on the fire. The silence stretches between them in a way it never has before. “Hey,” he tries again. “This morning was my fault.”

_ That _ makes Asahi look at him. “How was it your fault? You were not the one who hit your brother. You were not the one so desperate to flee that you accidentally flung the  _ only  _ person who has ever treated you with kindness into a wooden beam. You were not the one who acted like the monster everyone assumes you are, acting on anger and fear instead of  _ reason. _ ” He turns his attention back to the fire. “So tell me how you believe it was your fault, because I simply don’t see how it could be.”

“It’s my fault because I told you to go to the barn. I’m not good with thinking, or planning, or any of that. Most of the time I just exist and go from there, and normally it doesn’t hurt anyone. But this time it hurt you, and it hurt Daichi. So I’m taking the blame.”

Silence. He watches Asahi start drawing patterns in a patch of dirt. “Daichi’s okay,” Noya adds after a while. “Sprained his wrist. But he’ll be fine, I promise. It’s not the one he mostly works with. He told me to come find you and make things right.”

“He did? Your brother is a far better man than I.” Asahi stops drawing, the stick hanging loosely in his grip. “I understand why he stabbed me. Most act like that. He presumed I was a thief, and so he did what any reasonable man would.” His tone is flat and dull, the voice of someone trying their hardest not to burst into tears. “Men are strange, flawed creatures, but they are perfect in a way I will never achieve. They are more than I will  _ ever _ be.”

“What?” Noya laughs. “What do you mean, more? You’re a human just like me.”

“You say...you want to make things right.” He swallows back a lump in his throat, not making eye contact. With his hair pulled back into a neat bun, his scars are on full display, crisscrossing and dividing his face. “Then I shall start from the beginning. Someone has to know my story, I suppose. Though I wish you were not the one to hear it. You are not the person who needs to make things right.”

“Why’re you being so formal?” Noya reaches out to him, and Asahi shrinks from his touch. “You’re scaring me.”

“You should have never stopped being afraid of something like me, Nishinoya.” Asahi inhales. “You want to know what I am? Even I don’t know what I’m supposed to be. The only man who had any  _ inkling _ is dead. All that remains is in the pockets of that coat.”

Following Asahi’s instructions, Noya digs through the pockets. In one is a small canteen, and he takes a sip to wet his parched mouth before continuing to rifle through the coat. It takes a moment before his hand settles on the leather cover of a journal. He pulls it out, seeing the book stuffed full of notes and markings in both pencil and ink. He flips it open, skimming past all of the initial notes. It’s full of scientific matter that he doesn’t understand, but a few pages in, he finds a paragraph written in elegant cursive, the writing of someone wealthy and educated.

_ A new species will bow to me and praise it as its master. I have at last uncovered the secret to life, what makes a person tick. Some may call me a madman, if they knew of what I am to do. If I were a religious man, I would certainly believe in inevitable my descent into hell, but science rules before God. I will be the man who creates a new Adam, the father to a grateful race of better humans. _

Noya can’t tear his gaze away from the pages as he flips through the journal. Sheets of paper are taken up entirely by detailed drawings of the human body, veins and nerves laid out like a map. Other pages contain vivid descriptions of arms being cut from torsos and the selection of pieces from corpses. He tries to contain a gag. Even more is discovered as he continues to scan the journal. The careful identification and placing of each organ, paragraphs that only contain the crazed scientist waxing on about his subject’s beauty and perfection. There are even estimates of how large he was going to be, for the scientist mentions that it would be easier to make a bigger man than a smaller one. Notes about electricity, lightning, and energy. All of it is chronicled in the book down to every minute detail. Until suddenly, the pages end on an ominous note, dated roughly three years ago. 

_ He is awake. _

“Asahi?” Noya finally shuts the cover, his head ready to explode from the sheer amount of information he’s just received. “What is this?”

“It’s...me. I never asked to be born.” Asahi stirs the fire, sparks flying up into the air and getting lost in the wind. “Not born, I guess. Made. Made on a whim by a university student, who took one look at me when I woke up and called me a monster. I remember waking, seeing his exhausted, hopeful face as sweat streamed down his brow. And I opened my mouth, and this horrible noise came out. He sprung back. I’ll always remember how his face wrinkled with disgust. Any of that hope just...died. He went to bed, leaving me alone on that horrible operating table. So I stumbled after him, learning how to move, trying to get to him because he was my world in my first few minutes of life.”

“So that’s it, huh? The bastard made you because he wanted to be some famous shithead, and then he hated you?” Noya shakes his head, jumping to his feet. “If I ever see him, I’m killing him. You didn’t deserve any of that! You were minutes old! You were just a kid who wanted his father.”

“You...you understand?”

“Of course I do!” Noya says. “I wanted my mom all the time when I was little. I thought she’d come pick me up from the orphanage someday. But she never did. And when you’re almost nothing more than a baby, you don’t think about things like that. You just want your mom.” He watches Asahi expectantly as the man wrings his hands, continuing his story. He continues to stand, drifting closer to his friend as he speaks, not enough for the man to notice.

“And for two nights, I watched him as he slept. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted love, I think. Just  _ something _ from him beside hatred and fear. By the third night, he was gone. I was left alone. I laid there, I raided his cabinets for something to eat because he didn’t even  _ feed  _ me. And then I left, with nothing but an old coat. The one you’ve got on now. He had packed up all of his clothes, so there was nothing else. This was discarded in the lab. He didn’t want to walk in and see me again.”

“And then what happened?” Noya whispers, finally sitting down beside him. In the deepening night, the fire casts shadows across Asahi’s face, making him look more gaunt than Noya has ever seen him, all hollowed cheeks and sunken eyes.

“I wandered the world looking for him. I felt like I needed him. And in my travels, I was shot at. I was beaten. I was driven away from towns and villages because wherever I went, screams followed. So when I was just a few weeks old, I learned that people hated those like me, and I hid in the forest. I lived off of nuts and berries, and in my travels, I discovered the Azumanes. I lived near them, watching them through the dilapidated hayloft next to their house. It was there I learned to speak. The son had gotten a new wife, a kind woman that did not speak his language. I stayed there for months, learning with her. I learned to read the journal in my pocket, and in exchange for the shelter and knowledge they had unknowingly provided, I chopped wood. I left my favorite berries at their door. And then they found me, chasing me with torches and knives... and back into the woods I went for a very long time.”

“And you found me afterwards, right? And we’re here now.”

“No.” Now Asahi takes a deep, shuddering breath. His hands are gripped into white-knuckled fists. “I wish it could’ve ended like that. Instead, I finally found my father. In his manor by the lakeside, with all his books and a family who  _ loved  _ him. A father and a mother, two brothers. His lovely betrothed. He loved her like a plant loves the sun. It was almost two years from the day of my birth before I found him. After a few days of hiding and watching him, I confronted him, late at night when he was walking alone. I asked him to make me a companion, because I was just so  _ lonely. _ I needed someone who looked like me, someone who would understand. And I hated how much I  _ needed  _ him right then and there.”

“He traveled far away so as not to arouse suspicion from his family members, and he made me a woman. She was ghastly, but she was so beautiful to me. Not because of her appearance, but because she was my one ray of hope I had ever had in my life.” He sighs. “He thought I wanted a wife, but that wasn’t true. I took one look at her lying on a table like I had been when I was made, and fell in love with her like I would a sister. Women are not...I mean, I do not love them in the way that you think of love. Romantically, I mean. But that doesn’t matter now. He caught me watching. And so he destroyed her.”

“He  _ what? _ ” Noya’s thoughts are absolutely spiraling out of control, but he can’t tear his eyes away from Asahi, who hasn’t looked at him once throughout the telling of his entire story.

“Cut her up. Severed the seams that bound her together. I watched her fall apart, and he watched me weep while he did it.” Tears run down Asahi’s cheeks, made orange by the firelight. “Do you know what he did? He looked at me like I was  _ nothing. _ So I ran in, and instead of yelling at him or bellowing in anger, I stood there. I held the head of the woman who was to be my only friend in my hands, knowing her eyes would never open, that she would never speak to me. She was dead before she was ever alive. He had killed her. And I told him I’d do the same to him. That I would take everything from him. I was weeping like I am now, with snot streaming out of my nose. I was shaking so badly. That was the only time he ever looked at me like I was human.” He wipes his nose on the back of his hand.

Noya continues to watch him, weighted down by Asahi’s tale. How can someone have gone through so much pain and hurt? No wonder he ran from Noya the way he did. No wonder he still continues to run.

“So I did the same.” Asahi says, and he stands, moving away from Noya. “I did the same thing he did to me. I made him live in hell.” He shakes with sobs, his voice breaking as he cries. Noya rises to comfort him, but he gently pushes him away, still refusing to meet his eyes. He breathes raspily, this next part clearly difficult to relive.

“I found his wife first. They had just gotten married, that I knew. I knew he loved her as much as a person could. I couldn’t hate her for being loved, and she was far too kind-hearted to be disliked by any decent person. But I hated him so much. Just so, so much. And I was so much  _ stronger _ than her and she broke in my grasp so...easily. She didn’t even struggle. She just went limp.” Asahi stops speaking, his tears finally stopping their descent down his cheeks. All Noya can hear amidst the silence of the forest is the crackling of the fire. He waits for what Asahi is going to say with bated breath.

“H-He found her first, lying there like a doll discarded on the floor. I heard him wail. By then, I wasn’t feeling anything. I waited out in the forest for him to come, and he did. He shot me in the chest. The first bullet missed. The second landed, not that it mattered. It didn’t affect me and I couldn’t feel how much it hurt because I had tucked everything inside of me away.” Asahi pauses. He looks at his hands, open on his lap. He traces something into his palm three times, collecting his thoughts until he finally speaks again. 

“He just kept walking towards me, and he had this look like he had just lost everything in the world and I. Didn’t. Care. I just wanted him to hurt. He pointed the gun into my stomach, and I took it from him. Wrenched it away from him and threw it as far as I could. He tried to run away from me, but I caught him.”

“I held him like he had never held me. And I held him tight and then tighter still, even as he struggled for air. And I s-squeezed _ - _ and squeezed-and I felt his bones crack. He struggled even as his ribs stabbed into his organs and he beat his fists against my body but I still didn’t let go. He took a long time to die.” Asahi looks up at the stars, tilting his head back. He has gone someplace far away, some place Noya isn’t sure if he can reach and he honestly isn’t sure if he even wants to follow. 

“By the end, blood was gushing from his mouth and he was choking on his own blood, unable to breathe. He kept looking at me. One of the blood vessels in his eyes had burst, and the last thing he said was this horrible gagging sound that may have been a word. I couldn’t tell. But I knew when the life went out of him moments later. The poets and the artists, they make death out to be such a beautiful end. But his wasn’t. It was ugly and painful, the very _definition_ of suffering. And I was the one who had killed him.”  
“I set him down on the ground...He felt so light in my hands, I remember. What I imagine a child feels like when parents carry them up to bed. And I stared at that broken body on the ground, at the only man I had ever had any kind of connection with. I hated him so much. I had wanted him to die.” He stops. “And now that he was dead, I regretted all of it. He was a bastard, but I had still killed him.”

For the first time in a long time, Nishinoya Yuu is truly speechless. Asahi stops looking at the stars, finally returning to him. He turns to Noya, the distance between them seemingly wider than ever. His eyes are swollen with tears, strands of hair that have escaped his bun stuck to his forehead.

“So now you know. He made a monster, and he got a monster.”  
_You’re not a monster,_ Noya wants to say back, but what comes out instead is “What happened next?”

Asahi looks everywhere but Noya. At the fire, at the trees surrounding them, at the journal left discarded on the ground.

“I tried to die,” he says. “That’s what happened next. I didn’t know if I could die like a normal man. So I gathered all the wood I could and I lit a pyre. I was prepared to walk into those flames and never come out. But when I looked at those flames, at the way they climbed into the sky and the way they met the stars...I couldn’t do it. I wanted to. I wanted to so badly. I wanted to suffer like I had made both of them suffer, but I just  _ couldn’t. _ So I walked away. I lit a fire. I saw the stars. I walked. I slept and ate. That evening, I lit a fire. I saw the stars. And I put the flames out and went to sleep. It happened over and over again. I didn’t die the next night, or the night after that. I stayed here. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to ever rot away.”

“Don’t,” Noya says. “Please.” He doesn’t know what else to say. All of Asahi’s self-loathing and his horrible past have come to the surface in a tidal wave of hurt and all he can say is  _ please. _

“And why shouldn’t I, Nishinoya? I’ve killed and I’ve stolen. I’m even worse than him. He at least created something. Even if it was horrible, he still discovered something. The only thing I’ve done is murder them. And I would’ve killed your brother if you hadn’t shown up in time. I’m not something valuable; I’m nothing. I destroy. I wreck things and I run away, just like I did to you and the Azumanes. If I die, it won’t be some big event. It’s for the best that you pretend I never existed.”

“Asahi-”

“Goodbye, Nishinoya. Thank you for listening to the story of my life, and...for your kindness. I’m sorry that I’ll be unable to repay you for it.” 

He starts to walk away. Noya’s feet feel rooted to the ground, as if some unpleasant god is forcing him down. He longs to move, to jump into a sprint and grab ahold of Asahi and force him to stay. 

“Perhaps we will meet again in another life, and the world can be kinder to the both of us,” Asahi says in farewell. He looks over his shoulder at him, one last time. Fondness sparkles there, and he even offers him a weak smile before he vanishes into the dark of the wood. His long shadow blends into the night, and he is gone, Noya still wrapped in his coat with that terrible journal on the ground beside him.

“Wait!” Noya cries out, hoping he’ll turn back around and return to him. That he’ll let Noya say all the things he wants to say. Tell him that he will never be a monster in his eyes and bring him back to the cabin where he can begin to heal from the wounds the world has made.

But only him and the dying embers of the fire remain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting to write this chapter since I got the idea for this story in my head. This is very similar to Frankenstein if you've read the novel, but I cut out some of the deaths because I didn't see Asahi killing someone like William Frankenstein or Henry Clerval. Also, it's heavily implied that Adam burns himself alive at the end of the novel, which is why I had Asahi consider that. 
> 
> On a way lighter note, thank you for reading, everyone! Your support, comments, and kudos that you all have given means the world to me.


	7. Chapter 7

He stands alone in the grove, Asahi’s coat still wrapped around his shoulders. The man’s words whirl around in his mind, the knowledge of what he has done weighing him down, causing Noya to sink into a place in his mind where he’s never ventured before. He’s not good with his own emotions, never has been, and as he stands there, staring at the space Asahi vanished into, Noya cries.

He cries for the loving touch Asahi has never felt, for the wounds and the scars that the man bears across his body, not all of them from his creation. He cries for the orphans they both are, both abandoned for one reason or another. He cries for Asahi’s nights spent cold and alone in the woods. He cries because Asahi cried, because reliving memories like that is something no one should ever have to do. He cries for the Asahi who died when he killed his father, for the innocence he never received. And he cries for himself, too, for his own mistakes and the unsurity that has begun to suffocate him.

He’s never felt frozen quite like this before. Normally, he’d just go after Asahi and calm him down, hold him and tell him that someday it will be okay. That they’ll get through this together. 

But he isn’t sure if Asahi wants to be found. Not after his confession. Not after the goodbye he said, the goodbye Noya never wanted to hear.  _ I just wanted to make him happy. _

All the energy he has is usually gone, and the pain of his bruised rib is worse than ever, especially when his body jerks forward as he cries. He’s not sure when the tears he’s shed for Asahi have turned to his own tears of pain, his breaths slow and labored so as not to damage his injury any more. He needs to go back before things get any worse.

But he has no idea how to get home, or how deep in the forest he is. It’s too dark to notice any of the markings he has made in the trees over the years, meant to guide his way back to the cabin. He knows it like the back of his hand in the daylight, but in the nighttime, it’s a whole different beast. He isn’t afraid of the forest and he never will be, but right now he feels intimidated by the looming trunks of trees and the ominous rustling of the leaves in the night wind. 

He tucks Asahi’s coat closer to him. The sleeves extend far past his arms and the lining is threadbare, but it still smells just like him, that scent that can only be described as a warm fall day, of soil and spices and maybe even a hint of apple. He tucks the collar up around his ears in an effort to keep warm, burying his face in the lining.

Noya has always prided himself on not giving up, on being stubborn and the last one standing. So he stands at a crossroads, unsure of what to do. Does he spend the night, hoping Asahi will come back? Or does he attempt to follow him and maybe get even more lost? He doesn’t know, and for once, he doesn’t feel like simply charging in on instinct. Nishinoya Yuu is tired.

He goes to curl up at the base of the tree, deciding against his better judgement to spend the night in the forest. As he moves, the toe of his boot bumps into something-Asahi’s book, discarded on the ground. He picks it up, flipping to a random page full of writing. He scoots closer to the fire so he can read the words, his eyesight straining in the dark.

_ I wish for him to be a better race than that of mine. Humanity has so few morals left, and with his creation, my very own Adam, I can teach him to be kind and good. Perhaps he will be imposing, but he will also be beautiful, and as I look at him, half-formed, I feel a connection as one does to their infant. He will be something extraordinary, this I know. Is this how Prometheus felt when he made humans out of clay? When God made Adam out of dust? I know the church will shun me and say I am unnatural, but they have never seen eye to eye with men like me, ostracizing us for our genius- _

Noya stuffs the journal back into the pocket, unwilling to read any more.  _ Stupid, pompous asshole. If you had loved him, you wouldn’t have abandoned him. Because of you, he thinks he can’t be loved. You made him think he’s a damn monster. But even though you forced him into this life, he still is kind. He’s still so gentle and wonderful. You never even made him someone to love him back, and he’s worthy of all the love in the world. More. And you gave him nothing. _

He leans against the trunk of the tree. Whenever he closes his eyes, he has horrible visions of Asahi, burning in flames, his head thrown back in pain as the fire licks at his skin, curling around him until he’s entirely consumed by the heat. So he forces his eyes open, snuggling deeper into the coat as he tries to fall asleep with his eyes open. The image still haunts his brain, but he can’t help that. It has been a long, exhausting day, and his entire body hurts, his rib aching even more every time he breathes.

Minutes later, as he struggles to slip into sleep, he hears a small crunch of leaves. He springs to his feet, his rib screaming at the sudden motion.

“Asahi?” He whispers, whipping his head around. The fire is almost out, and he can barely see any of the branches around him, let alone a person. “Are you there?”

Nothing. The little seed of hope in his chest dies before it even has a chance to grow. It was likely just a fox or a squirrel, sneaking through the forest on its way back to its nest. It’s probably gone already, fleeing from the predator it thinks Noya is. He sinks back down to the ground, knowing it’s dumb to talk to nothing.

But still, he speaks. He’s good at talking to people about inconsequential things, but expressing himself? That’s someone only his closest friends know. So he speaks to the dark, hoping Asahi is listening. He’s tired, too tired to go after him, so all he can offer are words that he’s never been good at saying.

“I don’t think you’re a monster.” He looks up at the stars, much like Asahi did, running through the shapes of the constellations in his head. The same stars Asahi has been under every night of his whole life, no home to shelter him from the changing whims of the sky. “Monsters don’t regret. And you...you regret so much. So much that I wish I could guard you from all of it, if I could. That was my job at the orphanage. To take care of the kids and keep them safe from their fears. And I did that in any way I could, until I ran away.” He sighs. “I want to do the same for you, if you’d let me. Because you’re not a monster. Monsters don’t check on baby birds every morning as soon as they wake up to make sure that none of them have fallen out of the nest. They don’t hold hands like they’re the most fragile thing in the world.” He’s aware of his voice rising into a crescendo, the ends of his words breaking as he tears up, yelling past the lump in his throat. “You think all you’ve done is destroy, but you  _ haven’t. _ You’ve made me happy, despite everything you’ve been through. And maybe that’s small and inconsequential to you, but to me it’s not. So please,  _ please, _ just let yourself be happy too. Because you’ve never been a monster.”

He waits for a response. Any response. Any kind of sound that Asahi is there, that he’s listening to him. That he’ll come back and let Noya hold him.

But he never emerges, and with a pain he can't rid from his chest, Noya continues to wait, falling asleep to the empty sounds of the night.

* * *

He returns home, still in Asahi’s coat, tired and alone. His night was restless as he woke every time a branch snapped. Daichi and Suga take one look at his tired face, at the way he gets inside and falls onto the couch, wrapping up in the blanket he gifted to Asahi, and immediately rush to sit on either side of him. They don’t say anything. Suga strokes his hair and Daichi puts his uninjured arm around Noya’s shoulders. It feels like when they were kids again, huddled together for warmth in the alleyway, Daichi keeping watch over the two of them as Noya slept and Suga told him funny stories to get him to go to sleep.

He thinks of those days, just the three of them in the city. Where would they be if Daichi hadn’t asked Takeda for money that afternoon? If the kind hearted teacher decided not to take them back to his hometown, to give them an education and a job at Ukai’s inn so they could pay rent?

He doesn’t want to think about that, about the horrible possibilities that come from living on the streets, the sickness and the drugs and the death. He just wants to stay here, in this small bubble with his brothers, and let them take care of him again. 

He doesn’t want to think about anything at all. Not about Asahi or about the way he left things between the two of them. He just wants to pretend that sorrow isn’t jabbing into his chest, that maybe the events of the last few days never happened and everything can go back to normal. Except now there’s a large Asahi-shaped hole in his life now. Forgetting him would be one of the worst things he could ever do.

That afternoon, Ennoshita returns to check on him, berating him in his soft way for not taking care of himself. He doesn’t have the heart to protest at the doctor’s well-placed annoyance. He just nods his head and promises it won’t happen again. That causes the young doctor to react, raising his eyebrows in surprise. Many times he’s been on the receiving end of Noya’s rants claiming that yes, he does take care of himself, and no, he will not spend three days in bed.

“Is something else wrong?” He asks, pulling up a stool to Noya’s beside. “Besides a cracked rib, I mean. Daichi and Tanaka told me what happened.”  
“They did?”  
“Yes, and don’t worry. I’m not going to tell anyone.” His friend shifts closer, looking at him with sympathy. “He must’ve been really important to you, for you to go after him in that state.”  
“He’s not like anybody else, Ennoshita. And I’m not afraid of him, but he thinks I should be. So I had to go find him and make things right, but now I don’t think I’ll ever see him again.”

“Oh, Noya.” Ennoshita sighs. He’s the same age as Noya, and they spent their adolescence together even while the doctor was at medical school. He had worked in the apothecary with Suga when not in class, and so he’s well aware of how Noya’s mind works. How hard it is for him to lose someone close to him in whatever way. He’s seen it all before, both his frustration and his happiness. “You can’t take away everyone’s pain.”

“I just wanted to help ease his a little.” Noya buries his face into his pillow. “And I failed. I’m not supposed to make mistakes this big.”

“Normally, I’d say something like ‘mistakes make us grow’ to you right now, but that’s the last thing you want to hear.” Ennoshita’s lips press together as he thinks, massaging his temples. “I don’t have an answer, but what I can tell you is to keep going, okay? But only after some time in bed. You’re allowed to have bad days, Noya. You don’t have to be energetic and happy all the time.” The doctor leaves, his words rattling around in Noya’s brain. 

Ennoshita is right, as usual, so he allows himself to be sad for the rest of the afternoon. That evening, Suga makes Noya’s favorite meal, saying that they can splurge on ice cream next time he has the day off. Daichi cracks horrible jokes at him from across the table, and he responds with ones that are even worse. Suga joins in until both of them are just playfully insulting Daichi, the dark-haired man taking it all in stride.

When the night has fallen and he’s headed to bed, spirits lifted as much as they can, he notices something just outside his window, sitting on the frame. The latch hasn’t been tamped with, and it’s still locked just as he left it the night before. Slowly, he creaks the old window open, using his candle to light the darkness outside.

Something small and shiny glints on the windowsill. He picks it up, studying the object in his palm. It’s a small rock, a beautiful golden brown, tossed smooth by the river. He’s seen these stones hundreds of times while fishing, sometimes putting in them in his pocket to take home and decorate his room with. The first day he met Asahi, when he taught him how to fish, he showed them to him with uncontained excitement. He remembers wading into the river, his pant legs rolled up to his knees, Asahi watching with a nervous sort of amusement.

“Look!” He had said. “They’re pretty. You’ve just gotta keep an eye out for the right ones.” He had dropped one into Asahi’s palm, watching with bright eyes as the man smiled. He hasn’t thought about that event recently, but as he looks at the stone, he knows exactly how it arrived on his windowsill.

“Asahi?” He says hopefully. But there is still no response. He waits a beat before shutting the window and crawling under the covers, not letting go of the stone in his palm.

* * *

Days without seeing Asahi begin to turn into weeks. He finds himself waking up early, checking on and feeding the animals, always checking the sill of his window after he wakes and before he goes to sleep. Annie gives birth to her kid, a cute little brown-and-white spotted goat they name “Waka” at Tendou’s request. Daichi continues his stonemason’s apprenticeship with Aone, the practically silent man offering him a job after his years of apprenticeship are up. He’s never really seen Aone smile until then, awkwardly patting Daichi on the back as his brother enthusiastically hugs him.

Noya hasn’t felt like going to the forest recently. He knows if he does, his feet will just carry him all the way back to the grove where he met Asahi. And he doesn’t know if he’ll like what he’ll find. If there will be nothing there, or even worse, if there’s  _ something. _

So as the weather turns colder, he starts wearing Asahi’s coat into town, rolling up and cuffing the sleeves so it fits. Oikawa offers to alter it, saying he looks like some kind of vagabond, but he declines his invitation. He’s sitting in the shop, playfully arguing with his friend, when Hinata comes bouncing in.

“Hey guys!” His fingers are streaked with soot from his time at the forge. Oikawa raises an eyebrow, then winces as soon as he steps one of his work boots on the polished wooden floorboards. Oikawa has an impressive poker face, one that has allowed him to win many a card game, but it cracks a little bit whenever anyone messes with the shop. Even Hinata, who much like everyone else, he has a special sort of fondness for.

“Wash your hands and come back in,” he says. “And take off your shoes.”

“Oh, sorry Oikawa! I completely forgot. Where’s Kageyama?”

“About to clean the floor you just stepped on, idiot,” the shopboy grumbles as he fixes a display of fabrics. Kindaichi snickers from behind the counter, and Oikawa rolls his eyes at both of them. They both immediately go back to work.

“That’s a really neat coat you’ve got on there, Noya!” Hinata says as he struggles to unlace his boots. “Where’d you get it?”

“I got it from a friend,” Noya says. Oikawa smirks.

“Oh?” He says, drawing out the word in interest. “What kind of friend?”

“One that’s gone now. He had to go away.” He watches Oikawa’s face fall.

“That explains why you don’t want to alter it,” he murmurs, then suddenly brightens. “Say, why don’t you take these two boys to the bakery? Kageyama needs a break, and Iwa is coming for lunch, so I need to be on my way. Bring me back some croissants! And Kindaichi, you mind the shop. You had time off yesterday.”

“Yes, sir,” Kindaichi says glumly.

One of Hinata’s boots is already off, so as he struggles to put it back on, Kageyama snickers. Oikawa brushes past the two of them, and Noya stands in the doorway, his hands shoved into the coat’s pockets. His fingers brush up against the edges of the journal, and he grits his teeth in anger. He keeps meaning to take it out of the pocket, but for some reason, he’s kept forgetting.

“Let’s go!” Hinata says, even though one of his boots is completely untied. Kageyama sighs, but ties his shoe for him anyway, tailor’s hands tying the laces quickly and efficiently. Noya watches the two of them with a faint smile on his face. Everything with them is a competition, but they still dote on one another in the tiniest of ways.

On the walk to the bakery, they pass the various shops and their friends, hanging out on the steps. The school day has just ended, and so the children are running around the square. Takeda has packed up his bag, waving at Ukai as he walks up to him. The innkeeper is hanging on the porch of his establishment, and he greets Takeda with a lazy smile. Their town surgeon and Ennoshita’s associate, Sakusa, dodges the horde of giggling schoolchildren with a look of mild fear.

Noya tunes out Hinata’s and Kageyama’s bickering as he waves to the people around him. He even manages a small wave from Akaashi, the printer sweeping the stairs of his shop as Bokuto hangs off him, peppering him with sooty kisses. Hinata stops arguing with Kageyama about who can walk faster to wave at his master. Bokuto responds with an even more enthusiastic wave

The bakery is next to Miya Atsumu’s woodworking shop, the smell of fresh bread and wood shaving drifting together in a mixture that’s warm and comforting. Hinata rushes to beat Kageyama to the door, the tailor’s apprentice grumbling when his friend reaches the handle before him. From behind the counter, Yamaguchi almost fumbles a tray of bread as they pile into the shop, Noya almost vaulting over Kageyama. Tsukishima smirks. Noya has no idea how the town’s clerk, in charge of everyone’s records, is someone who manages to spend the majority of his time at the bakery.

“Look who it is,” Tsukishima drawls, wrinkling his nose as if an unpleasant smell has made its appearance.

“There’s a stain on your shirt,” Kageyama grumbles in response.

“No, there isn’t.” Tsukishima raises one single brow. “However, there’s dirt on yours.”

Kageyama glances down at his shirt, where Hinata’s sooty fingerprints have been smudged across the white fabric. He snarls up at Tsukishima, and Noya chooses that moment to shove between his younger friends and march up to the counter. As usual, Yamaguchi is unfazed by any of this chaos, even snickering at Kageyama’s visible annoyance. He’s always found Tsukishima funnier than he actually is.

“Can I get some buns and croissants?” Noya asks. At that moment, Yachi rounds the corner from the back room where the ovens are, yelping as soon as she sees Tsukishima and Kageyama glaring at one another. Hinata then pushes past Kageyama, earning a grunt of displeasure from the other boy as he’s moved even closer to Tsukishima. 

“Yachi!” He says, running up to the petite girl. She sets the tray on one of the bakery tables, smiling sweetly. “I’ve missed you so much! And your hair! It’s all braided! You look so pretty!”

Yachi blushes, touching a hand to the braid wrapped around her head. “You like it? Kiyoko did it! I’m not used to it not being in my face!” The two friends strike up an easy conversation, both of them nodding enthusiastically at the other’s words. Yachi even squeals in excitement when she hears about Hinata’s mother and Natsu finally moving to their village in order to be closer to Hinata and his job. She adores Hinata’s sister, making sure to take time to play with the little girl and do her hair. 

Yamaguchi hands Noya his pork buns, side-eyeing the glaring Kageyama in the corner. Tsukishima is as aloof as ever, pretending like the apprentice isn’t even there. Noya can’t resist playfully elbowing the clerk in the side on the way out, waving an enthusiastic goodbye.

He disperses the buns to the boys, watching as the two immediately begin to argue again, even with their mouths stuffed full of food, crumbs falling from their mouths. Normally, he listens to their arguments with great interest, but he finds himself tuning them out as thoughts of Asahi begin to overtake him.

He’s been finding more and more objects on his windowsill-small black feathers and tiny orange wildflowers, dark red berries and rich green saplings. He leaves those by his bedside table, staring at their shapes in the darkness until he falls asleep. But the stone he leaves in his coat pocket, and he finds himself holding it whenever he thinks of Asahi’s smile, of the way his body moved when he laughed, the way his eyes shone when he looked at him.

But for the past week, there has been nothing. And that worries him. Because the gifts on his windowsill mean that Asahi is alive and close by. They mean that he’s still out there, not dead by his own hand, still walking the forest Noya met him in.

He dreads of having to walk into the woods to look for a body. How would he bring it back, as big as Asahi is? How do you hold a funeral for someone only you knew? Would he purchase a coffin? Take him to Matsukawa for the cleaning and washing of the body? Have Suna dig a grave for Asahi’s burnt corpse as he weeps for the man he could’ve so easily fallen in love with?

So he will stay out of the forest for as long as he can, so he can keep the hope that his beautiful, strange creature is still out there. So he can wait and believe like a soldier’s wife that Asahi will return to him whenever he’s ready.

“Noya? Is everything alright?” Hinata asks, bringing him back to the present. He’s been thumbing at the stone in his pocket again. His friends have stopped midargument and are now staring at him in the middle of the square with a look of mild concern. He's suddenly aware of how lightheaded he feels, of how unsteady he suddenly feels.

“Everything’s great! I'm sorry to cut our afternoon so short, but I think I’m going to go see Tanaka and bring him some buns!” He shoves the bag of croissants at Kageyama. "Can you bring these to Oikawa?" Without waiting for a response, Noua finds himself jogging away from the pair, a sudden lump appearing in his throat. He weaves past the people in the square and bursts in through the tavern door, causing Saeko to splash mop water onto the ground.

“Jesus, Noya! You scared the hell out of me.” She looks at the soaked hem of her skirt, then back up to him. He can tell his bottom lip is starting to wobble. “Is everything okay, love?”

“It’s fine,” he hears himself say. “Where’s Ryuu?”

“You don’t look fine, but I won’t press you. You tell me whenever you're ready, 'kay?” She walks over and squeezes him into a hug. Saeko is the big sister he’s never had, quick with an insult and a hug all in one. The Tanakas are as much a part of his family as Daichi and Suga. “He’s washing dishes in the kitchen right now. Go in there and ask Osamu to fix you a plate, yeah? My orders. You look like you need some good food.” She releases him from her hug and ruffles his hair. “If anyone’s hurt you, I’ll take care of ‘em!”

He heads into the kitchen. Tanaka’s back is turned to him as he scrubs at the plates and mugs, all made by Aran’s expert hands. He’s humming a small song, one that Noya knows Saeko would hit him for if she knew the lyrics. Miya Osamu is currently rolling out pastry dough on the table, pretending that neither of them are here.

“Saeko, I’m still-” Tanaka catches sight of him, immediately noticing what’s off. “Bro, what’s wrong? Here, come here. Let's go out back. Osamu, you mind takin’ care of the dishes?”

“Later,” the cook grunts. “Your job, not mine.”

Tanaka takes this as a yes and pulls Noya out the back door of the kitchen. The street is silent but for the sound of water dripping into a rain barrel. His best friend has known everything about him, every crush and almost every secret. Noya even let the part about Asahi’s gifts slip to him, something that he swore Ryuu to secrecy on. Neither of them are known for their perfect record of secret-keeping.

“He’s stopped coming,” Noya says, and before he knows it, his hand is back around the rock, squeezing it before he starts crying. “And I think he might be dead, or hurt, or-”

“Calm down,” Ryuu starts. “Look, I know your gut is almost never wrong. You’ve got great instincts. But it’s been a week since he stopped leaving 'em, right? But he left them for two weeks before this. Maybe he went back to, I don’t know, his father’s old room at university? To see how he was born? Or maybe he’s just spending time in nature again, gatherin' his thoughts. My point is that you don’t know where he is. He could be anywhere, but anywhere doesn’t mean dead, y’hear?”

“Y-Yeah.” He wipes his eyes. “I guess. I just hate feeling so-so  _ worried.  _ I hate being all mopey and sad. And I know there’s some things he has to work through, more than most people, but I still  _ miss _ him.”

“You’re allowed to miss him, idiot.” Tanaka immediately starts hugging him to the point where he can’t breathe, lifting him a few centimeters off the ground. His entire family is always quick for a hug. "I'd be worried if you weren't. But try not to think about it so much. I’ve got a feeling he’ll be back.”

“Isn’t your intuition normally wrong?” Noya wheezes. Ryuu sets him down before he accidentally suffocates him.

“I’m surprised you know that word, bro. But this time, I really hope it’s not. It better not be. Or else I’ll find him myself and slug ‘im until he comes back to you.” Ryuu cracks his knuckles, doing his best to look intimidating. For a minute, Noya can pretend they’re about to beat up some guy who looked at Kiyoko in a slimy way, and he allows himself to laugh once again.

* * *

That night, he waits, sitting on the edge of his bed with his candle in one hand and Asahi’s stone in the other. His leg bounces up and down, restless energy flowing out of him in an endless well as the autumn wind continues to gust outside. He knows he could roll over, cuddle under his covers and go to sleep like he has every other night since Asahi left. Some nights, he balls up the coat and presses his face into it, smelling Asahi’s scent of soil and earth so he can pretend that he’s sleeping beside him. It could be like any other time in his life, another day to put into the past behind him. Another day spent waiting for a man who may never come.

But his gut is telling him no, and like Tanaka said this afternoon, his gut is almost never wrong.

And when there’s another noise, a noise that fails to blend with the wind rushing on the opposite side of his window, he allows himself to hope again. Even when nothing happens, when Asahi doesn’t make his appearance known, he still allows himself to hope.

It pays off the next morning, when there is a soft yellow feather on his windowsill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama and Hinata are SO hard to write, I had so many issues with them this chapter, lol. But as always, thank you for reading! This chapter turned into something I wasn't anticipating, but I still enjoyed focusing on characters besides Noya and giving all the other characters their little showcase. 
> 
> Follow me on twitter @wormfanatic


	8. Chapter 8

It’s safe to say that Nishinoya Yuu has grown tired of waiting. He’s never been good at it in his life, the one skill he’s never quite been able to master. His lack of patience is almost legendary in the town. He tends to charge into things without any regard for his own safety or that of others. It’s gotten him into trouble before, plenty of times, yet more often than not, he gets away with it. It’s saved his own skin on many occasions, and more importantly, allowed him to protect the people he loves. How can someone be a guardian if they always wait for bad things to happen? He's always enjoyed  _ his _ way of doing things, nobody else’s. His way has worked just fine, foolish as it may seem.

But with Asahi, he can’t do any of what he normally does. He  _ won’t. _ Because Asahi is different, and Noya thinks, deep down, he might love him for it, for how different he is. For every one of his scars. For every moment of love and kindness. Loves him in spite of every mistake Asahi has ever made.

So night after night after night, when the end of summer begins to flirt with the beginning of fall, he waits. He waits even when he hears the soft padding of feet up to his window, even as his legs bounce with uncontained energy. He waits, though he has to grip the sheets in his fists because he wants to rip open the window, wants to see Asahi there holding one of his little gifts in his big hands. To reach out and grab hold of him and tell him to stay. To say that he needs to come home, because Noya will gladly be Asahi’s home for the rest of his life. If he’ll let him.

But he doesn’t for one reason alone: he loves him, so he waits as best he can.

And just as he did that first day, when he found him in the woods, he starts leaving the cheese and the pork buns he knows Asahi adores. And he waits, and he listens to the footsteps of the creature he loves. His strange, beautiful creature with eyes that glow as soft as candlelight, covered in scars that Noya will never not find beautiful. His creature that has hands that have hurt, but have also held his with the utmost care. Hands made for holding and creating, never breaking and destroying like he has been forced to do by the world. His creature that has never been and never will be a monster in his eyes.

When his small amount of patience begins to crumble, Noya begins to leave the window open a crack. Enough for Asahi to slide it up someday, if he wants to, and see him waiting there for him, seated with one of his legs bouncing up and down. Just the hint of a choice, even though all he wants to do is bypass the window altogether and proclaim from his rooftop _ “I love you, I love you, I love you! Come home!” _

But one night, when the weather hovers close to autumn, in the season when the leaves fall from their branches to create a carpet of yellow and orange and brown, he finds himself standing at the window instead of sitting. Tonight he’s left out a small plate of pork buns, made fresh by Yamaguchi this morning. The curtains are drawn over the glass, so Asahi couldn’t see him even if he wanted to. It makes it easier that way, preventing Noya from climbing out of the window and into Asahi’s embrace. 

He knows that if he keeps going the way he has, he’ll crawl under the sheets of his bed and then the next morning, he’ll find another gift. An acorn or some sort of flower that only grows in the fall. Another day without Asahi, another day of hoping and waiting and trying to keep moving, because Nishinoya Yuu is good at moving; good at combating the nonstop motion of the world. Yet right now, he needs things to just stop, so he can wait a little longer without any inhibition.

So he decides to let his world stop for just a small moment. He decides to take this small piece of the night and allow himself one tiny bit of impulsiveness, so he stands and crosses the distance to the window even as he hears footsteps drawing closer. He listens to them stop, and he stops breathing as well.

Through the small gap between the window and the wood of the sill, large enough to fit his wrist through, he sees one gray-toned hand take a pork bun. After a while, it returns for the other. Still he waits. And then he sees that same hand, holding a small handful of wildflowers, hardly enough to be called a bouquet. He loves it all the same.

And his far smaller hand snakes out and brushes against Asahi’s. The hand stiffens and stills. But slowly, it reaches out, caressing the skin of Noya’s wrist as if its owner can’t believe what’s happening. And it takes his hand so softly, so delicately, but it holds it tight in a way that says it doesn’t want to let go.

His free hand reaches up, drawing aside the dark curtains that divide the pair of them, Asahi’s broad shape warped through the surface of the glass, and then he raises the window at last.

Nothing separates the two of them anymore.

Asahi stares at him, his mouth slightly hanging open in disbelief. Noya drinks the sight of him in. His hair is still pulled back, his goatee a little scruffier, and he’s got a few more bruises and scrapes across his face. But he still looks much the same, the only exception being the dirt on his skin and clothes. Nothing compared to how he was when they first encountered one another. And his eyes still glow the same way, with shock and joy and maybe something even deeper as they take one another in for the first time in more than a month.

“Hey,” Noya says, but it comes out weak and frail as he looks up at him, his voice quavering far more than he’d like. Neither of them say anything again, the silence between them so full of things the two of them wish to say. He drapes one leg over the windowsill, starting his attempt at closing the distance between them, but then hands are picking him up, bracing their bodies together and hoisting him upwards like he’s lighter than a feather.

Asahi is holding him. At last, Asahi is holding him, and their faces are buried into the crook of each other’s neck in an attempt to get as close as possible. The edges of Asahi’s hair tickle Noya’s nose, and he burrows in even deeper, never wanting to let go ever again. His lips rest against the skin of Asahi’s neck. He could kiss him right here, right now, feel Asahi jump from surprise as he holds him. He dreamed about this before Asahi was gone, and he thought about it even more during his waking moments. 

And now it’s happening. He knows for certain he will never let go of him again.

“It’s you,” Asahi whispers into him, his tone thick with disbelief. Noya wraps his legs around his waist. His breath is hot on his skin, and he smells like dirt and dead leaves, and Noya could care less about any of that.

“It’s me.” For a brief moment, he wonders why the hell he’s the one saying this. Then he decides he doesn’t care, and he leans his head against Asahi’s broad chest so he can see him better, feeling the raised lines of his scars through his shirt. “It’s me,” he repeats. A lump that’s not entirely unpleasant has begun to form in his throat.

“Yes,” Asahi says, and Noya feels something wet on his skin, where Asahi is currently hiding his face against his skin. “You let me come back.”

“Of course I did,” Noya murmurs, and now his voice is shaking far more than before. “I would’ve waited for you to come back for the rest of my life, Azumane Asahi.”

There’s so much he wants to tell him, and even more he wants to ask him. But right now he’s content in the arms of the man he loves, bodies pressed together until there’s no more space between them.

“I’m sorry,” Asahi says.

“Sorry for what?”  
“For being a coward.” Eyes flicker up at him, then dart back into the safety of his chest. “I ran away, and-”

“And you came back. You ran away, and you came back. And not gonna lie, only one of those matters to me.” Noya smiles, raising a single brow. “Are you okay with that?”

Asahi chuckles through his tears, his laugh making his whole body shift and rumble under Noya’s. Noya squeezes his legs around him tighter, crossing his arms over the back of Asahi’s neck.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he says. “That’s good, because I wasn’t taking a no. You-you’re home now, y’hear?”

“Home? What about your brothers?”  
“Asahi, you big dope. They wanted me to bring you home over a month ago, remember?” Noya presses a feather-light kiss to Asahi’s neck, one that can hardly be called a kiss. He doesn’t seem to notice the tiny gesture, but it stirs something deeper within Noya, allowing him to relax even further into Asahi’s embrace. “Why did you have to go?” He whispers, and just like the kiss, for a second he thinks Asahi may not have heard.

“Because I needed to think,” he answers after a second, seeming to carefully consider each word. “About my life. My father. The things I have and haven’t done.”

“Why couldn’t you think here?”

“Because,” Asahi answers with even more hesitation, stumbling over his syllables, “Because- you make it very hard to think when you’re around, Nishinoya.”

“Oh.” He tilts his head upwards, his heart threatening to beat its way out of his chest at what Asahi is trying to say. “Do you see the stars?” He asks, focusing on them instead of his own nerves.

“Yes."

“I looked at them and I thought of you every night. Before you came back, I kept thinking about what you said. About the stars and the fires you made. And every night when you weren’t there by my window...I thought-I thought of you burning. I was so scared to go into the woods. Scared in a way I haven’t been since I was a kid. That I’d find you burnt somewhere. A corpse. And I've lost a lot of people before, Asahi. I really, really didn't want you to be on that list, too.” He keeps looking up so tears don't spill out onto his face, craning his neck. The longer he stares at a patch of stars, more appear. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Asahi gazing at the stars as well. “So thank you for coming back. And thank you for staying, too.”

They don’t look at one another, instead stuck in the comfortable, sweet silence that is only known when one is with their lover. Noya finds the north star and begins internally counting the number of constellations he’s seen based on his knowledge from Suga and Takeda’s texts. He sneaks a few peeks at Asahi, who has not grown tired of holding him up. The man’s brow is furrowed in concentration, and when he catches Noya looking at him, he blushes.

“Can I ask what you’re thinking about?” Noya says. Asahi nods.

“About how to tell you why I left. You want to know where I went. Well, I…" He pauses, struggling to say what he wants to.

"Take as long as you need, 'Sahi."

"I went to see his tomb. Where they were buried, side by side but separated by walls of stone. I know he would’ve hated that, the being apart for all eternity. I’m not sure about her. But their grave, it was a long way from here. I got lost along the way. But I found it, and like you said, that’s what matters.” A tiny smile curls at the corners of his black lips. Noya wants to kiss him even more, to kiss that smile over and over until both their lips are swollen. Instead, he continues to listen.

“And I looked at his name carved into the marble, and I thought  _ ‘one of the only people who has ever known me is gone.’ _ And then...I started thinking about being forgotten.” His voice lurches as he struggles to speak. “And all of a sudden, I realized that I just wanted to be remembered. Not as a monster. As a person. As  _ someone. _ "

“I think you can do it,” Noya says, and he kisses Asahi on the cheek, right on the intersection of two of his scars. One of Asahi’s hands flies to his face, touching the spot where Noya’s lips were. The loss of one of his body's supports almost causes Noya to fall to the ground. He squeaks, Asahi immediately moving to keep from dropping him. After he's once again secure, Noya bursts into laughter at the ludicrousness of the situation. “Sorry. I should’ve asked.”

“No. It’s...nice.” Asahi flushes, but the smile across his face grows until the edges of his teeth begin to show. God, he’s missed that blush more than he ever thought possible. “I liked it.”

“And I like you,” Noya responds, repositioning in Asahi’s arms. In response, the giant hugs him even closer. And for the first time since the day in the barn, watching Asahi run away, Noya finally feels content.

* * *

That same night, for the second time ever, Asahi is in his house. It’s far less awkward this time as he lowers himself onto their couch, the wooden frame creaking only slightly. Noya flops down beside him, leaning against him. Now that he’s discovered the wonders that are touching Asahi, he doesn’t want to break contact. The fire is crackling, left to burn while Daichi and Suga are asleep in their bed in the other room. Asahi points towards the bathroom.

“Do you mind?” He asks, more than a little sheepish. “I want to clean up.” Noya nods, reluctantly separating his head from Asahi’s shoulder. He watches Asahi’s retreating back as he goes to the bathroom to erase the layer of dirt crusting his skin from his weeks away. He takes that moment to go into the cupboards and prepare some food, fixing him a plate of the remains of this evening’s dinner. If it was just him and his brothers, he’d be making a lot of noise, clattering the spoons and forks together, but he doesn’t tonight. He’d rather not have a repeat of the barn situation. At least they’re actually sleeping tonight. Otherwise, this would be a lot worse for all parties involved.

He sets the plate on the table and retrieves Asahi’s coat and blanket from his bedroom, the stones and the gifts that he has brought. Noya grabs every single one and dumps them onto the table with the plate. The coat he drapes over the rocking chair, in case Asahi doesn’t want to look at it.

By then, Asahi has come out of the bathroom, toweling off the wet strands of his hair. The lines of his muscles move through his shirt, and Noya stills in his task, admiring him. Asahi catches him looking and starts blushing again, his eyes widening as he turns away again.

“I put some food together. Daichi made it, not me, so don’t worry about it tasting like shit.”

“I’ve been eating nuts in the woods for the past three weeks, Noya. I’d love some burnt stew right now.”

Noya bursts into laughter, and Asahi chuckles along with him, clearly relieved his terrible attempt at humor worked. He picks up his fork and starts eating, still awkward with the utensils. Noya thinks of ordering specially made utensils from Bokuto and Hinata. Hinata would be happy to hone his skill on something like that, and Bokuto even happier to just hammer out metal. He loves his job almost as much as he loves Akaashi. 

As he watches the handle of the tiny fork almost get crushed, Noya decides that he’s definitely going to save some money for some new forks and spoons. He watches him eat as he tries to salvage the crumpled petals from Asahi’s tiny bouquet, a roll hanging out of his mouth so Asahi doesn’t have to eat alone.

“You don’t have to do that,” Asahi says quietly, making a tiny gesture at the flowers.

“I’m gonna do it,” Noya says, getting a cup and filling it with water from the pitcher. “It’s from you! Why wouldn’t I keep it?” He places the flowers in the cup. They look adorably pathetic, all crushed petals and drooping stems. The kind of thing one sees in a flower shop window and ignores.

He loves them. 

“I wanted to ask you...did the gifts have any meaning?”

“They were things I found in the forest, and when I saw them, I thought of you. Like the feather. It’s the same color as that streak in your hair. Or anything orange. I think you’d look, er, um, nice in orange.” He takes a bite of his meal, clearly attempting not to scarf it down. “Very nice.”

If only orange dye wasn’t one of the most expensive on the market. Maybe Noya  _ should _ get a job, so he can make his entire wardrobe orange, just for Asahi.

“And the rock?” He asks. Even now, it stays in his pocket, the weight of it comforting and familiar.

“It’s the same color as your eyes.” Asahi eats another forkful of food. His unoccupied arm rests against the table, and Noya starts holding his hand again, scooting across the bench to be as close as possible.

“You think so?”

“That was the first thing I noticed about you. Your eyes. Not their color, but...the kindness there. But when I saw the stone in the river where you first took me, I thought of you. So I brought it to you. I didn’t want to leave without saying some kind of goodbye.” Asahi rubs his thumb across the back of Nishinoya’s hand, sending a tickle up his arm. “I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me, before I left. Not after what I did, what I _ said _ -”

Noya cuts him off. “I wanted to see you more than anything else in the world.” 

“Even after you knew?”

“I know you’d never hurt me, ‘Sahi. At least, not on purpose. Sometimes, accidents happen, and that’s okay. After you left, I couldn’t stop thinking of the first time when we met, when I saw you crying, and I just kept thinking, ‘why would someone be crying alone in the middle of the woods?’” Noya rests his head against the side of Asahi’s body. “Even then, I didn’t want you to have to cry ever again. I still don’t.”

“I can’t promise that. I’m sensitive.” Asahi laughs, his body shaking. Noya loves that when he laughs, it’s small. It’s about the furthest thing from loud, yet somehow, his whole body still manages to move as if he’s laughing from his belly. 

He snuggles even closer to Asahi. He really didn’t think he was  _ this _ touch-starved. And surprisingly, Asahi snuggles even closer to him, a little stiff at first. But then both of them settle into one another, enjoying the rest of their meal in silence. They fit together despite their difference in height, and Noya can only think of how  _ lucky _ he is right now.

Eventually, the remnants of Asahi’s supper are cleared away, the plates placed with tender care in the washbasin. Asahi stretches out on the couch, exhausted. He takes out the tie holding his bun in place, his hair falling over his shoulders. Noya gets a sudden idea and rushes into his room, taking the blanket he bought for Ashai.

“Roll over,” he says, holding the blanket against his chest. Noya climbs on top of him, draping the fabric of the blanket over the two of them. He lays his head against Asahi’s chest, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat. Asahi lays his head back on an old, thin, pillow, one of his big hands pressing against the middle of Noya’s back. Noya twines their legs together, pressing one small kiss to Asahi’s collarbone.

“There,” he says, the rhythm of Asahi’s heartbeat thumping against his cheek. This is the sound that proves that Asahi is alive. That he’s just as much of a human as Noya is. Because Asahi’s affection is the opposite of monstrous. Azumane Asahi is not a monster, and if anyone looked at him and saw that in his eyes instead of their strange color, his life could’ve been so much different. He could've bypassed the pain, the hurt, the nights alone in the shadows of the trees. But it is because of Asahi's pain that he is the way he is. Kind and gentle and more than a little nervous.

And just like the flowers he brought for Noya, he loves him completely.

Small circles begin to massage at his back. With the motion of Asahi’s hands and the fire crackling in the background, he’s about ready to fall asleep. It was late when Asahi first came to the window, and it’s even later now.

“Can we stay like this?” He mumbles sleepily, taking a few strands of Asahi’s hair and wrapping them around his fingers. “Not just right now, but forever?”

“Nothing in the world would make me happier.” Asahi holds him even closer. “If you’d let me stay a part of your life. I know nothing of a normal life, and if we...were together, things will not be the same for you.”

“I like change. And I don’t care that things won’t be the same, because I’ve never had a normal life. I used to fight people just to eat. And this thing between us? It’s taken us a while to get here. I mean, you accidentally flung me into a beam of my barn. So you’re right. It doesn’t feel normal.” Asahi’s hand on his back stills, the man waiting with bated breath as Noya finishes his sentence. “And I think that’s okay. Because it feels right.”

Asahi doesn't say a word. Instead, he holds Noya like he'll never let him go, the two of them playing with one another's hair. They don't need words right now, not when their faces and bodies are right here. Nothing needs to be said.

As much as he'd like to spend the rest of the night just like this, he can feel his eyes drooping, his tired body melting into Asahi’s frame. “‘M goin’ to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning. And that’s a promise.”

“You won’t be comfortable if you go to sleep here,” Asahi says, both worried and amused. “I’m not the softest thing in the world to lay on.” He cocoons Noya into the blanket and picks him up bridal-style, even as the smaller man complains sleepily. He walks him over to his bedroom, ducking his head to avoid hitting the doorframe. Then he tucks Noya into bed, under his sheets and layers of blankets.

“I promise you, I will be here in the morning.” He runs his hands through Noya’s hair affectionately, causing his black and gold locks to poof out.

“You'd better actually sleep,” Noya grumbles. Asahi only smiles. He's smiled more in these past few hours than he has in the duration that Noya has known him.

In an action that likely surprises both of them, he bends down and presses the softest of kisses to Noya’s brow. Then Azumane Asahi retreats back into the living room, leaving only the memory of his lips against his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried way more than necessary while writing this chapter, but the boys are back together! Thank you all for your support, comments, and kudos, they really mean the world to me!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @wormfanatic


	9. Chapter 9

The first thing Noya does that morning is attempt to curl up against Asahi. When he wakes, his bed is far too cold, his arms reaching for someone who isn't there, body curling towards the absent shape of a person. He rolls out of bed, wrapping himself in a blanket, and heads out to the main room of the house where Asahi is splayed out on the sofa. For once, he seems relaxed, one hand dangling off the edge of the couch, completely and utterly dead to the world. Noya flop on top of him, once again enveloped in Asahi’s scent of earth and herbs.

Underneath him, he shifts slightly, but doesn’t wake. Noya nestles further into him, wishing for all the world that he had stayed here last night and protested more when Asahi carried him back to his bed. Even under the blanket, Asahi is freezing cold, his skin like a stone floor as Noya snuggles on top of him. His chest rises and falls with each breath. As Noya looks at the still-sleeping man, he notices how _soft_ Asahi looks. His lips part slightly as he sleeps, all the worry and tension that’s usually present there gone. The harshly sculpted lines of his face are softened by his dreaming. Noya brushes a loose strand of hair from his face to see him more clearly.

He’s even more beautiful like this. He thinks about waking Asahi to tell him good morning, thinks of the joy of seeing those golden eyes flicker open. He imagines watching them brighten as soon as he sees Noya above him-but then he realizes that Asahi is almost always tired, whether it be simply from trying to survive or the exhaustion that comes when one is anxious. He decides to let him sleep, perfectly content to remain just like this until he wakes up.

With some regret, he realizes that this is Suga’s day off, meaning he could come barrelling out of their room at any moment and see Noya curled up with an almost complete stranger. He separates himself from the still-sleeping Asahi and heads into his brothers’ room. 

Daichi and Suga are wrapped up in one another, their clothes discarded on the floor, blankets tangled up around their bodies. Suga has his face buried into the bare skin of Daichi’s shoulder, and Daichi has his arms wrapped around Suga’s torso like he’s never letting go.

Noya carefully knocks on the doorframe. Suga is the one who stirs the first, a far lighter sleeper than his lover. He blinks himself awake, stretching one arm upwards as he rolls out his body from the thralls of sleep.

“What do you want?” He groans. “You’re literally the only person up right now.”

“Don’t freak out,” Noya starts, and Suga raises one eyebrow, squinting at him in the early morning light.

“What did you break this early in the morning?” He asks blearily.

“Nothing!” He decides the best way to approach the subject is to just tell Suga head-on. No sense walking around it like a scared teenager. “You remember Asahi, right? From the barn?”

“How could I forget?” Suga yawns, sitting up. He runs one hand through his hair, unbothered. Then the realization of what Noya has said sinks into him, and he finally pries himself out of Daichi’s embrace and looks at his brother with an expression of faint disbelief. “He’s here, isn’t he?”

“Came back last night.” He tries to act nonchalant and cheerful, just like normal, but his heart is threatening to beat out of his chest. The last time he tried to introduce Asahi to his brothers, things turned sour quickly. He doesn't want a repeat of that ever again.

“Did he now? Is he alright?” For a moment, Suga seems ready to fly out of bed, ready to gather his bandages and medicines for whomever needs them. That’s just Suga’s way. Comfortably chaotic with everyone he knows, but always willing to lend a hand to those less fortunate. 

“He’s asleep on the couch right now. So when you come out, don’t freak out.” Suga visibly relaxes, any tension easing out of his body, and waves a hand as if to say _go away._ Nothing drastic is happening right now, nor is anyone in need of medical attention, meaning that he’ll be back to sleep within moments. 

“Kou?” Daichi murmurs, reaching to tug him back down into the bed. “What’s going on?”

“Noya’s boyfriend came back.”

“Is he awake right now?” Daichi says, opening one eye. Sawamura Daichi has never been and never will be a morning person, making Noya extra glad he chose to tell them this while they’re half-asleep. Otherwise, Daichi would be trying his best to be stern and Suga would be mercilessly making fun of him for not denying the boyfriend comment. Not that it matters exactly _what_ Asahi is to him right now, not when he’s just come back into Noya’s life for what he thinks is for good.

“No, he’s sleeping.”

“Like you should be right now, like any sane person.” Suga cuddles back into Daichi, unbothered. He closes his eyes. “Like I will be in a few minutes.”

“Koushi,” Daichi says, his tone far more pointed than normal. “There’s a _guest_ in our house.” Suga’s eyes fly open at the realization.

“Oh my _god_ , you’re right. We haven’t even cleaned anything! Are the dishes still in the sink from yesterday evening?” Much like Oikawa, his brother is a neat freak. The two of them will descend upon a disorderly room like hungry vultures upon a carcass, scrubbing and dusting until any and all exposed surfaces are clean.

“No, love, they’re not,” Daichi says, sitting up along with him. “And if they were, he’s been living in the woods. I doubt he’ll care about a messy kitchen.”

“Hey, he’s still sleeping,” Noya says, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. “So just try to quiet down, okay?” Daichi laughs lightly, slinging one arm around Suga.

“Are you, the one and only Nishinoya Yuu, _really_ the one saying that?”

“Maybe I am,” he says, feeling oddly defensive. He knows they don’t mean anything by their teasing, but it still strikes a nerve he’s certainly not used to. “He just...he hasn’t gotten a lot of sleep lately. Or ever. And I just don’t want to wake him up.”

They both notice the face he must be making, because they exchange a look between each other, one that only the two of them can decipher. He’d be lying if he said he doesn’t hate when they do that. It makes them feel like his parents instead of his brothers.

“Alright,” Suga says, looking back at him and smiling. “We’ll do our best to be quiet.”

“Want me to make breakfast?” Daichi asks. “If you get the eggs from the coop, I can make something for him.”

“I'll go do it now. You’re the best.” Noya walks out of the room, slowly lacing on his shoes by the front door. He’s never been more aware of how much noise he makes in his own house, wincing at every creak in the floorboards. Still, Asahi seems to be a heavy sleeper, and Noya manages to make it out to the barn without waking him, the first in what he hopes will be a string of victories.

In the cold morning, the animals are sluggish, unwilling to leave their warm beds of hay even for a bite of breakfast. He gathers the eggs into the basket, then dumps the goats’ feed into the buckets. All four are cuddled together for warmth, baby Waka protected from the elements by Annie and Clyde. It doesn’t take long for him to finish the monotony of his morning routine, and he returns to the welcoming warmth of the cabin as soon as he can. Daichi is up, cooking up some potatoes as quietly as he can while Suga brushes his teeth in the bathroom.

“He’s been through a lot, hasn’t he?” Daichi says, handing him a knife to peel even more potatoes. Noya accepts and takes one of the spuds, beginning to slice away the skin. “You can tell just by looking at him.”

“Yeah. Way too much. If he’s gonna live with us, I...I think I should tell you what’s up with him.” Noya takes a deep breath, cutting out an eye from the potato’s surface. There’s no sense in hiding it from him. Daichi always finds out, no matter what measures Noya takes to prevent it. “He’s kind of not human.”

Silence. It stretches on and on as Daichi continues to chop up breakfast, processing what Noya has just said.

“Well then. I guess that’s to be expected, given his height and the way he flung us away like it was nothing.” Daichi begins to pour the oil in a saucepan, as level headed as ever. “So if he's not human, what is he?”

“It’s a long story, but basically his father was some crazed university bastard that wanted to play god. So...he’s made out of people. Dead ones. The psycho dug up corpses to make him.”

“Shit.” Daichi hardly ever swears, unlike Suga, and he looks at the man sleeping on his couch with new eyes. “I can’t imagine living like that. Knowing you weren’t even supposed to be born? It's bad enough to live a life looking the way he does. No wonder he’s been living in the woods.”

Noya begins to thank every god he knows for his sensible brother, so free of judgement. No one has ever been a stranger to Sawamura Daichi, not once they step through the doors of his house. Of course the first statement from his mouth after learning Asahi’s secret is one of sympathy.

“Yeah,” Noya says, resuming his potato peeling with renewed vigor. “It’s been a lot for him. More than I could ever handle. But trust me, he’s really sweet and kind! He’s just not that great with new people, like Kenma sometimes is. The first time we met, he ran away from me and I had to drag him back to his campsite.”

“Of course you did.” Daichi takes the cubed potatoes and dumps them into the oil. “What if he wasn’t like that? What if he was a real monster? Sometimes I don’t know how you’ve managed to stay alive. You’re an absolute meathead, you know that?”

“Am not!” Noya protests. Daichi may be right, but in the mess that is his brain, Noya has no time to think. So far, it's worked out fine. He’s still alive, which is more than some people can say.

“Who’s a meathead?” Suga emerges from the bathroom, his fluffy mess of hair finally shaped into something presentable. He tucks his shirt into his trousers, coming up to wrap his arms around Daichi’s waist.

“Who do you think?” Daichi says.

Suga pulls away from him and jabs him in the ribs, causing him to wheeze. “It’s probably you.”

“I’m gonna go wake up Asahi,” Noya says, partly in an effort to avoid becoming the next victim of the lethal weapon that is Suga's elbows. He walks into the living room, noticing how his family turns away to give the two of them some privacy. They may tease him mercilessly, just as brothers are meant to do, but they know when to be serious.

Asahi has curled in on himself since Noya left, as if in the midst of a horrible dream. The blanket has begun to puddle on the floor, leaving his feet exposed. Noya bends down and gently shakes Asahi’s shoulders. It takes a while to pull Asahi from sleep, but when he does, his yellow eyes open slowly. He must’ve forgotten where he is, because he bolts upright, searching frantically around the room until his gaze settles on Noya.

“Good morning!” Noya says, as chipper as he can. Asahi’s hand finds his own immediately.

“I’m sorry,” he replies, letting out the shuddering breath one has when they’ve just finished a particularly awful dream. “I must’ve forgotten where I was-”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. It happens to everyone.” He gives Asahi’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “My brothers know you’re here, and they’re making breakfast for us right now. I told Daichi about what you are, and he doesn’t care, okay? They know I like you, and that’s enough for them.”

“It is?” They both turn to look at the smiling couple in the kitchen, Daichi still frying potatoes while Suga sits on the counter, swinging his feet, completely and utterly absorbed in his partner. 

Noya stands and pulls Asahi to his feet, hugging him once both of them are upright. It’s harder to actually hug Asahi when both of them are standing.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” he murmurs into Asahi’s stomach. “They’re really excited to meet you, I think.”

“They are?” He looks up to see Asahi smile, albeit one that’s small and close-lipped, but a smile nonetheless. _Beautiful_ , he thinks of the man in his arms. There simply aren’t enough adjectives in the world to describe him, the strong contours of his frame and the beauty of his face, the softness of his personality. No one will ever compare to this glorious god of a man that he was lucky enough to stumble upon in the forest.

“Yeah,” he says. “They are. Really. I’ve told them a lot about you.”

Asahi quickly fixes his bun in the mirror while Noya waits for him, leaning against the doorframe. Eventually, once he’s deemed himself presentable, they walk over to the table. Suga has set up an extra chair on the side, just in case there isn’t enough room for all four of them on the dining table’s long benches. Asahi stares at it nervously.

“What’s wrong?” Noya asks, still holding his hand.

“I’ll break it,” he whispers. “My body-”

“It’s fine,” Noya says. “If you’re not comfortable, I’ll sit there. No worries.” Asahi nervously lowers himself onto the bench, still wincing at every creak the seat makes under him. Noya sits at the chair adjacent to him, so Asahi has easy access to his hand under the table. Noticing that both of them are up, Suga slides off the counter and walks over to the two of them, a friendly grin that he normally uses with customers on his face.

“You must be Asahi,” he says warmly. Noya watches his brother take in Asahi’s scars, the strangeness of his face and body. His smile grows into a grin. “It’s so nice to meet you, after hearing so much about you. I’m Sugawara Koushi, but feel free to call me Suga.”

“Suga,” Asahi says, testing out the name just as he did Noya’s when he first met him. “Thank you for letting me stay. Especially...after what I did. I understand if you hold any resentment-”

“Are you kidding me? I love Daichi more than anybody else in the world, but sometimes he deserves a good knock to the head,” Suga laughs. “But seriously. Don’t feel bad. That’s all in the past, and you’re one of us now.”

Under the table, Noya squeezes Asahi’s hand as he feels the man stiffen in surprise.

“I am?”

“Yes, of course! After what Noya’s told us, you deserve a family. We found Noya on the street when Daichi and I were eleven. Daichi and I were street rats without families ourselves, so we’ve been in your place before.”

Asahi relaxes, finally meeting Suga’s gentle gaze. Suga’s customer-service smile has turned into something far more genuine as he looks at him. Noya recognizes that look from when they were young. He remembers it hovering above him, one grimy hand outstretched, guiding him out of the trash and into the light.

“My face...it is not an issue?”

“Of course not! People look different sometimes, and that’s perfectly fine. But if it bothers you, I can make a salve that’ll help them fade. They won’t go away completely, but then again, nothing ever does.”

“You would do that for me? Someone you’ve just met?” Asahi’s hand has begun to shake a little bit. Noya watches him swallow, likely trying to erase the lump in his throat.

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re a part of the family now, you hear?” Suga awkwardly pats Asahi on the back. Asahi flinches, then relaxes as soon as he realizes Suga isn’t going to hit him. With a jolt, Noya thinks that perhaps Suga is the second person to touch him with the intent of kindness instead of pain, Noya himself being the first.

“Sorry! I forgot you haven’t had much contact. I should’ve asked.”

“No…thank you for doing that.” Asahi opens his mouth to say something more, but then Daichi sweeps in with breakfast, placing a plate laden with food in front of Asahi.

“Here you go, big guy,” he says cheerfully. “You look like you haven’t been getting much to eat, so I made extra.” Asahi stares down at the meal in front of him, picking up a fork with as much delicacy as a two-meter man can muster. Daichi grins, sitting down beside Suga and pecking him on the cheek. “I’m Daichi,” he says, shifting his attention back to Asahi. “Our first meeting didn’t go too well. Sorry about that.”

Asahi sets down the fork without taking a bite. “No, it was my fault. I’m used to having to defend myself, and so I jumped to conclusions. My apologies. I hope you can-”

“It’s already been forgiven. Nobody’s fault. Now eat.” Daichi’s voice is firm. Even as he smiles, Noya can see that unflinching, unmoving resolve behind his eyes. Asahi picks up the fork and begins to eat, clearly trying his best not to scarf down the food in front of him. With Noya easing him into the conversation, the four of them strike up an easy conversation, none of them willing to broach the subject that is Asahi’s past quite yet. As they talk, Noya finds himself staring at the drooping flowers in their cup of water, and he leans against Asahi’s shoulder. From across the table, Suga winks. Noya sticks out his tongue in response.

“If I’m to stay here, I’d like to do something to help. I know feeding an extra person isn’t easy.” Asahi pushes his empty plate away. “But I do not have anything to prove who I am, and looking as I do, it will be difficult to get a job.”

Noya looks up at him, already frowning. “Asahi, you don’t have to-”

“I do,” he says, in a firm but gentle way that sends shivers up Noya’s spine. “All three of you have done enough for me as it is. But to the world, I have no name or family.”

“No one asks questions around here. And we know a few people who could use help on a farm, if you’d like to work there. Less people to meet, especially if you aren’t comfortable with them yet.”

“Iwaizumi told me he’s looking for help,” Daichi adds as an aside. “Since Oikawa’s so busy with the business.”

“Farmwork would be nice,” Asahi says. “I want to meet people, as hard as it may be. Because if I do not meet them and I stay like this...that would mean my father will have been right about me.” He sighs, and Noya’s heart breaks for him all over again.

“He’ll _never_ be right about you,” Noya practically spits. Asahi turns to him, yellow eyes wide, surprised at the venom in his voice. “You’ve already proven him wrong. If he was right about you, you would’ve kept running when we met. But you didn’t. You stayed here. You’re better than he ever believed you to be.”

“My father was terrible, too,” Daichi says. “Our families don’t define us.”

“You decide who you want to be your family,” Suga says. “He doesn’t have to be anything to you now.”

“Thank you,” Asahi rasps out, clearly trying to hold back tears. Noya swells with pride. This month alone has certainly changed him. Azumane Asahi is well on his way to becoming somebody, just like he said he wanted to be.

As Suga begins to clear the plates away, Asahi stands to help him. And as Noya watches him wash the dishes with his brother, even getting some soap playfully flung onto him in the process, he realizes that Asahi fits in with the three of them even better than he imagined.

* * *

Tanaka appears at the cottage the next day, bringing lunch from the tavern. Daichi and Suga are both at work. Daichi plans to talk to Iwaizumi about a job for Asahi before he comes home. 

It must be a slow day, because his friend runs down the road with a sackful of Osamu’s cooking in his arms. Noya looks out the window to see him coming. He’s currently stitching some new clothing for Asahi out of some old fabric while Asahi reads one of Suga’s books, the two of them snuggled together on the couch with Asahi’s long blanket stretched across their laps. Asahi stops reading and looks along with him, taking in the sight of the young man sprinting down their road.

“Do you want to meet Tanaka?” Noya asks. “He’s important to me, but so are you. If you don’t want to, I'll understand.”

“If he’s important to you, I’d love to meet him.” Asahi sets the book down just as Tanaka comes bursting through the door, tossing the food onto the table. He misses.

“Noya!” He shouts, not caring about the parcels that have bounced off the table and fallen onto the bench. “It’s been too long!”

Noya vaults off the couch and hugs his friend, not mentioning that it has been approximately three days since he last saw him. Tanaka lifts him off the ground, spinning him around like he weighs nothing. Then he realizes Asahi is sitting there, as awkward and nervous as usual, and he drops Noya.

“It’s you,” Tanaka says, somewhat slackjawed.

“Hello,” Asahi says awkwardly, waving the world’s tiniest wave.

“Ryuu, this is Asahi. We’re...kinda, I mean-” Noya uncharacteristically starts tripping over his words. With anyone else, it would be easy to say, but not to his best friend in the entire world. “He came back,” he says simply, knowing Ryuunosuke will understand what he means. He saw how distraught Noya was after Asahi left.

“Oh. _Oh.”_ Tanaka looks Asahi up and down, nodding with approval. “Well, it’s nice to meet you.” He puts on his most intimidating face. “Just don’t break his heart, and we won’t have a problem.” Noya punches his friend in the arm with as much force as he can muster. “Ow! I’m just statin’ the truth here!”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Asahi says, blushing. He stands to his full height, and Tanaka raises his brows, turning to Noya as if to say that if Noya’s heart does get broken, he will _definitely_ not be able to beat him into a pulp. Eventually, with initial introductions aside, they all sit at the table, where Tanaka immediately begins to interrogate Asahi before Noya can restrain him.

“So why were you in the woods when you met Noya?” He asks, tearing off a hunk of bread with his teeth. As much as he loves his friend, Noya sometimes has no idea what the goddess that is Kiyoko sees in him.

“My face,” Asahi answers simply. “With my size and the condition of my face, many did not wish to interact with me. I was outcast into the woods where no one had to look at me.”

“Well, they’re shit for that. You seem like a decent guy. Did you not have anyone to take care of you?”

“My father abandoned me and called me an abomination and a monster. I’ve been alone since...well, since my birth.”

“I know that feeling,” Tanaka says, any of his usual humor vacant. “It’s just me, my sister, and my old man. My mom lit out when I was four, when times were the worst. I hate her for it some days, but most of the time, I get why she did it. Money was tight. She didn’t take anything. She wasn’t the best mom, or the best person, but she never would’ve called me an abomination.” He drapes a friendly arm across Asahi’s shoulders. “You’re a real great guy, Azumane, from what I’ve heard. We’ve all got a past. Just don’t let it eat you up.”

“It gets easier every day,” Asahi says, and this time it is him who moves closer to Noya, enough so that their thighs are touching. Noya leans against him until hardly any space remains between them. This does not go unnoticed from Tanaka, who wiggles his eyebrows so suggestively that Noya winds up throwing a piece of boiled carrot at his forehead.

The rest of the meal passes without the same tension, ending with Tanaka cracking jokes that make Noya laugh until his stomach hurts. Even Asahi gets comfortable enough to join, and eventually his laugh becomes the kind where it comes from the belly instead of the throat, the bench shaking the harder he laughs.

After the meal, Tanaka pulls Noya outside. Asahi gestures at them to go do what they need to do while he settles onto the couch, his book already in hand.

“He really is great. Sorry for intimidating him at the beginning there,” Tanaka says, a little sheepishly.

“Isn’t he?” Noya can feel a dopey-eyed grin settling onto his face. “I think I’m in love with him.”

“I knew it!” Tanaka pumps his fist in the air. “I really like him, bro. He’s real gentle. Not what I was expecting. You two make a weird pair, but I think a good one.” He reaches into his pocket. “Speaking of love, I’ve got something to show you.” He pulls out a small box, intricately covered in wooden carvings.

“Is that what I think it is?”

“Picked it up from Lev when he and Alisa were in town last.” He speaks of their favorite pair of wealthy merchants, selling all manner of the town’s handmade goods, like Kenma’s books or Kuroo’s both expensive and inventive clocks. “It’s silver. I couldn’t afford any diamonds, not with the tavern’s budget, so it’s simple, but-”

“She’ll love it,” Noya says, his cheeks practically splitting from the broadness of his smile.

“I already asked her father,” Tanaka says with pride. “He said it’s okay. Not that it matters. I would’ve married her even if he said no, I love her that much. I’m taking her on a picnic in a few days, on that hill by the forest that she loves. Hopefully it’ll work.”

“Tanaka Ryuunosuke, a married man? I honestly never thought I’d see the day!” He hugs him again. “But to be serious, I’m so proud of you.”

“Me? No, bro. I’m proud of you. He’s clearly mad about you. I’ve never seen anybody look at anyone like that, and we’ve _both_ met Oikawa when he’s with Iwaizumi.”

“You think so?” Asahi and Oikawa are a comparison he never anticipated to hear.

“Are you kidding me, dumbass? He looks at you like you’re his entire world.” Tanaka grins. “Didn’t peg you for the oblivious type.”

“Quit it,” Noya says, punching his shoulder, but they’re both grinning. When they both head inside after a small talk and survey of the ring, Asahi is half-asleep over his book, looking positively adorable as he tries to read. After an intense match of cards, both of them teaching Asahi the rules, Tanaka decides to head out for the night. He knows he’ll be needed for the tavern’s night shift, when everyone finally manages to get out of work. He embraces Noya and even gives Asahi the awkward side hug one gives to an acquaintance before he starts his jog back into town.

Noya settles next to Asahi on the couch while Asahi gathers the deck of cards up to put away. His book sits beside him. Noya picks it up.

 _“Myths of Ancient Greece?”_ He asks, reading the letters embossed on the cover. “I love this one! Suga used to read it to me all the time when we were little. Come to think of it, I think I learned to read from this. What story are you on?”

“Theseus and the Minotaur,” Asahi says quietly, stacking the cards and neatening the edges. “The minotaur and I...I do not think we are all that different. Both of us cast aside by our fathers, both of us birthed unnaturally. Both of us cast away where no one would have to see us. Our fates could’ve been so similar.” He stares down at the tome in Noya’s hands. “Us monsters are not so different after all.”

“You aren’t a monster, Asahi. Never have been, never will be”

“Then what am I? Certainly not a man, even if you treat me like one.”

“You’re you right now, and that’s enough for me. I bet someday it’ll be enough for you.” Noya snuggles into Asahi’s chest, listening to the thumping of his heart. So steady, so _powerful._ “Wanna know what the difference between you and the minotaur is?”

“Hm?” Asahi wraps his arms around Noya’s back, holding him close. Noya twines their legs together as best he can with their height difference.

“The minotaur didn’t regret. He killed without any remorse. That was part of why they locked him away. But you-you regret _so_ much. More than one person ever should. And I think regret is what makes a person human, once everything else is gone. I said that after you left. I didn’t think you heard. But I still mean it. Monsters don’t regret.”

Asahi covers him with the blanket. “I don’t know if I can believe that about myself just yet,” he admits.

“So I’ll believe it for you until then.” Noya turns around so he faces outward, shifting Asahi’s arms over his stomach. He takes one of the man’s enormous hands and presses a kiss to the knuckles there, to the scars and the scratches. “For as long as it takes.”

* * *

Being the light sleeper that he is, he’s awoken that night by a small sound, like a dull scream of fear. Noya rolls out of bed, creeping towards his closed door. He presses his ear to it. Behind the wood of the door, he hears another muffled scream and a whimper that sounds suspiciously like _no, no_. He creaks the door open, hoping that Asahi is alright.

The big man is still asleep on the couch, tossing and turning every which way. A low, scared groan escapes from his throat, and he chokes out something that sounds like a gasp of pain. Noya rushes to his side, attempting to shake him awake. Asahi doesn’t emerge from his nightmare, his eyes instead continuing to shift under his lids, his hands gripped into fists.

“Asahi,” Noya says, grabbing hold of his shoulder and shaking him harder as the man still doesn’t wake. “Wake up! Wake up, it’s just a dream-”

His eyes finally fly open and he sits straight up, breaths coming in quick, shallow gasps. In the darkness of the room, he finds Noya and flings his arms around him, burying his face in Noya’s chest.

“It was just a nightmare. You’re safe now,” Noya whispers, rubbing circles into the knotted muscles of Asahi’s back.

“I’m sorry,” he weeps into Noya’s shirt, grabbing the fabric in his fists like Noya is a rock in the middle of a storm. “I-”

“It’s okay, ‘Sahi,” he whispers, continuing to hold the man. He can feel the thin sheen of sweat on his skin. “Just a dream. I’m here. You’re here. You’re alright. _We’re_ alright.”

He tilts his face upward. Noya can see the tears glistening in his eyes, even in the sitting room’s pressing darkness. “Just a dream?” He says, and he sounds so confused, so _small_ despite his low, husky voice. “I thought-I thought for certain that-” A sob gurgles out of his mouth, cutting the rest of his sentence off. Noya holds him closer.

“Sleep with me for tonight,” he murmurs. Asahi pulls away.

“If I move wrong, I could crush you,” he says. “I don’t want to hurt you-”

“You won’t.” Noya cups Asahi’s cheek in his palm. “I promise you, you won’t. Now c’mon. I’ll try to keep the nightmares away. I’m not going to let anything hurt you ever again, real or not.” He helps Asahi to his feet, supporting his shaky legs and guiding him to the bedroom. 

Asahi lays down on one side of the bed, curling up into a small ball. Then Noya climbs into his side of the bed, pulling the sheets over both of them. Asahi barely fits, his feet sticking out past the edge of the blankets. Noya immediately snuggles into him, guiding Asahi’s hands to hold him. Then he gets an idea.

“Roll over,” he says. “I’ll be the one to hold you tonight, okay? I’ll keep the nightmares away.”

Asahi obliges, and Noya tucks his arm under Asahi’s head, his other draping over his shoulders. He buries his face in Asahi’s hair, taken down during the night, and presses a small kiss to the side of his neck. Asahi finally loosens up a little bit, content to be held in the growing familiarity of Noya’s embrace. As Noya breathes in his scent, he notices that his hair smells different, perhaps of a new oil Suga must’ve brought from the apothecary to keep it healthy. 

Noya leans over him and presses a kiss to his cheek. His fingers trail along the base of Asahi’s neck, accidentally dipping below the collar of his shirt, and he feels goosebumps begin to prickle on Asahi’s cold skin. He traces the line of a scar, the only noise in the silence the rhythm of their breathing. Asahi’s breath begins to grow ragged, and Noya is finding it harder and harder to remember to exhale.

He thinks of warm kisses and bare bodies entwining in the dark, the breathy sighs exchanged between lovers, and he knows that if he keeps touching Asahi like this, he won’t want to stop. But right now, it is up to Asahi to decide if he wants to do this. So he pulls his hand away, half-hoping that Asahi will roll over and press his lips to his.

But Asahi doesn’t. His breathing instead begins to even out as he falls back into the safety that comes with the realm of sleep. Noya finds himself drifting away as well. Continuing to slip deeper into the night’s gentle darkness, he holds Asahi tighter, determined to keep his nightmares at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out wayyyy longer than I meant it to, but hey! I had fun writing it. Also, I cannot write Tanaka without him saying bro every other sentence, lol. Thank you so so much for reading!
> 
> Follow me on twitter @wormfanatic and tumblr @worm-fanatic


	10. Chapter 10

Asahi sleeps with him every night after that. Sometimes, he still wakes up, sweating from his nightmares, a scream emerging halfway from his mouth. But then he finds Noya in the dark, and the two of them are back to sleep, curled up for warmth. Noya begins to find that he loves waking up beside someone, loves spending time watching Asahi sleep in the early hours of the morning. Daichi and Suga tease him about staying in bed later than usual, but he doesn’t care. Not with Asahi right there, his hair half-falling over his face, small puffs of air escaping his lips. Sometimes he is the one who holds Noya, and sometimes Noya holds him, or they fall asleep talking and face one another in the morning. 

But either way, they always wake with their bodies pressed together.

Asahi’s first-ever job goes incredibly well. Iwaizumi adores Asahi. The former soldier has seen plenty of terrible things, and he meets the giant without batting an eye, even quickly bowing to him out of respect, something that makes Asahi look like he wants to vomit. One day at the shop, Oikawa even mentions how handsome he finds Asahi and how lucky Noya must be, raising his eyebrows suggestively when Noya can barely sputter out a response.

The work is hard, and Asahi comes back to Noya’s bed tired and dirt-stained, but with a large grin splitting his face. He loves tending to the crops, watering the rows of plants and picking away the dead weeds. He finds solace in the plants and the working, saying it keeps his anxiety away. Noya thinks of looking for a job, too, with Asahi occupying less of his time now. He begins to spend more days in the town looking for work. More money is never a burden.

His first option and one that’s close to home is Tendou. He finds himself sitting at his neighbor’s table with a mug of warm apple cider, the redhead chattering excitedly.

“I haven’t seen you in foreverrrr! It’s like we don’t live right next to each other or something.” He grins at Noya, flopping into one of his armchairs and stretching out, his own mug in hand. “So what’s up?” An excited, mischievous expression lights up his face.   
“Do you need any help around here? I’m just looking for a bit of extra money, and-”

“I’d love to, Noya, but…” Tendou takes a sip of cider, face twisting into an exaggerated expression as he thinks. “I’ve got Ushi coming over and helping me whenever the horses are acting rowdy. So sorry, but I don’t think I need any help. Plus, foaling season’s over, and winter’s just about keeping them alive and selling. I’m genuinely sorry.” 

They spend the rest of Noya’s visit drinking cider and gambling, and he’s more than happy to take a large sum of money from the horse-trader’s hands. They depart on good terms, Tendou making him promise to bring Asahi next time he comes to visit. He knows they’ll get along fine. In the last place he lived in, Tendou was called a freak and driven out. It took him years to rebuild his reputation. Having Asahi meet Tendou will be good for the both of them, two men both shunned for their appearance.

He leaves Tendou and then starts looking in town. No one seems to need an employee or an apprentice. He even stops by Kuroo’s shop, even though hunching over a clock and fixing tiny gears is the opposite of what he wants to do with his life. Noya is desperate for work.

“I’m a terrible teacher, Noya,” Kuroo says, wiping grease-stained hands on his apron. There’s even a smudge across his forehead, where he’s tried to brush some of his bed head out of his eyes. “Does any part of this look like master material?”

“No,” he admits. With Kuroo, flattery isn’t an option like it is with Bokuto. He picks apart people just like he picks apart his clocks. Kuroo snickers at his response.

“At least you’re honest. But seriously, I don’t have any room for anything else. Reminding Kenma to eat takes up a lot of time.” He taps his fingers against his thigh, thinking. “But hey, if you’re looking for work, Ukai’s probably got some things that need fixing up at the inn. Old Ukai told old man Nekomata about his grandson complaining about things that need fixing. Probably the whole building. That damn inn’s been around longer than any of us.”

He takes Kuroo’s advice and walks down to the inn. Once inside, he’s greeted by the familiar scent of floor polish and fresh fabric. When the three of them first arrived, dragged from the city by Takeda, this was their very first home. Ukai was kind enough to give them a free room as long as they helped him clean and cook meals. He spent his teenage years here, at least until Suga got the apothecary job and they finally moved into their own place.

From behind the counter, Ukai sits, half-asleep, his pipe dangling out of his mouth. He sees Noya and immediately smiles a lazy smile.

“How’re you doin’, kid?” The man asks. He acts so much older than Noya, despite the fact that he’s only twenty-eight. His age, however, does not stop him from complaining about his back pain.

“I’m hanging in there,” Noya says, leaning across the counter. “Kuroo told me you’ve got some stuff that needs fixing? I’m looking for a job.”

“I don’t need anything permanent, but do you mind fixing the roof? It’s been leaking and I’ve been too lazy to get up there and fix it myself.” He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

That’s how he finds himself working odd jobs for Ukai. The innkeeper, being somewhat influential, spreads the word around, and he finds himself fixing roofs and floorboards for a few extra coins. It turns out that plenty of people have things that they don’t want to fix by themselves. The money isn’t much, but with all four of them working, they can afford more than they ever have, even with the addition of Asahi.

This particular evening, he takes his extra money and heads over to the bakery. Yachi throws in a few extra pastries along with his usual order of meat buns, waving her shy goodbye. He fixed the bakery door a few days ago. Tonight, Suga is working late at the apothecary, and Daichi wants to walk him back to the cabin just in case, meaning they’re both working well into the night.

That means more time alone with Asahi, something that he felt has been terribly lacking lately despite them sleeping in the same bed. He jogs down the road, his bag slung over one shoulder, coat streaming out behind him. It’s cold tonight, the wind blowing low and bitter in his ears.

_ Good night for a bonfire, _ he thinks. There’s plenty of chopped wood outside, and they’ve already got a tiny fire pit. A tiny picnic by the fire might be the way to go, if Asahi isn’t made too nervous by the flames. He’s caught him staring into the fire with a dark look on his face, one Noya tries to make vanish with a touch or a joke. Sometimes, he even seems antsy of the fireplace, but Noya always manages to draw him back to the present.

Noya finally makes it home, just as the stars are starting to come out. He kicks the door open, his arms full from the bakery and his tools from today’s jobs. The house is unnervingly silent. Normally, he can hear the floorboards creak whenever Asahi moves the slightest bit. The fire crackles in the fireplace, meaning that at the very least, Asahi is home from Iwaizumi’s fields. There’s even a new bouquet of wildflowers in their cup on the table. Noya sets the food down beside it.

“Asahi?” He calls. No answer. “Asahi, where are you?”  _ He wouldn’t leave. I know he wouldn’t, not now.  _ He walks into the bedroom, a room he has already begun to think of as theirs. Asahi’s clothes are even neatly folded beside Noya’s, the trunk divided up between the two of them.

And there he finds him.

He sits on the edge of the bed. His old coat lays beside him, stretched out beside him. And in his hands is the journal, forgotten about by Noya. Asahi is staring at it, unblinking, a tremor in his hands. It’s open to only the first page, where a name is written.  _ Victor Frankenstein. _ It means almost nothing to Noya, but it clearly means everything to Asahi.

“Asahi?” He says, taking a small step into the bedroom.

“I hate this,” he rasps. “I hate him. And I’ve never hated anybody, I try not to, but I hate him. For everything he did. I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t ask to be  _ made. _ ”

Noya slowly sits down beside him, turning towards him. He lays a hand on Asahi’s forearm as he stares at the book. He doesn’t cry. He doesn’t blink. Asahi only stares, transfixed by the swirls of ink on the page.

“He didn’t care that I felt. He didn’t care that I  _ loved. _ He made me this way, and he didn’t  _ care. _ ” He swallows. Noya’s mouth goes dry. “I’m made of people. I don’t know how many lives I’ve lived. Where or who my organs and my bones and my flesh came from. I don’t know who I was before-before any of this. And nobody else has to worry about something like that. Just me. And this book...it’s so cold. So factual. Someone could find it and make someone else live like me-” his voice finally breaks. “And Noya, I never want that to happen ever again. I don’t want there to be someone like me. I don’t want someone to live like I have.” He leans against Noya, seeking him for comfort. 

“So let’s get rid of it,” Noya replies. He’s done it before. Burned everything away so he could start again. “We can burn it. If you want to.”

Asahi finally tears his eyes away from the book. “What?”

“Yup. Burn the notes. Nobody will ever know. I’ll start a bonfire. The wind will take care of the ashes.” He stands. “You won’t ever have to see it again. I’ll make sure of it. If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I can burn it on my own.” 

“You’d do that for me?” Asahi asks, cocking his head. He looks so small, so broken when he’s hunched over this terrible journal.

“I’d do anything for you.”

Asahi’s face hardens with resolve. “Then let’s do it together.”

“I’ll start the fire.” He begins to walk outside, his hands gripped into fists. If Victor Frankenstein wasn’t already dead, Noya would kill him himself. He knows part of what Asahi’s feeling. The abandonment. The pain that comes from not having any kind of parent in your life, and instead having to be your own.

The difference between them is that Noya will never know why he was abandoned. He doesn’t have to know who his mother was or why. Maybe she couldn’t take care of him, and couldn’t get rid of him before he was born. He can’t blame her for that. For all he knows, she was just a scared young girl with no way to take care of a baby.

But Asahi doesn’t have the luxury of not knowing. Every day he has to live with the knowledge that he was made to be someone’s experiment, birthed into this world for the sake of someone else’s glory. He has to suffer from the realization that he’s about as far from natural as it gets, given the curse of free will and a body made of desecrated corpses. And when he didn’t live up to Frankenstein’s expectations, he was cast aside like a broken toy, left to deal with his own state of being.

Frankenstein didn’t care. And Noya hates him for it. Hates him because if he stayed a little longer, he could’ve seen who Asahi was going to be. Hates him for calling Asahi a monster and an abomination when really, he’s as far from that as it gets. And maybe a piece of him hates Frankenstein for bringing Asahi into this world, for making him live the life he has. The life that no one should live, and a life no one should have to bear alone for as long as he has.

By the time he’s done with setting up the bonfire, the flames roar and blaze in front of him. His thoughts are a tangled mess, Victor Frankenstein and Asahi’s misery and his own selfish desires all getting caught in the chaos of his mind. He stands, drawing his coat tighter around his body as Asahi emerges from the cabin, book still in hand. He looks almost as alone as he did that day in the forest, when Noya met him for the very first time. Just a solitary creature with haunted eyes.

He doesn’t reach out to touch Asahi or move closer to him; not when Asahi slowly opens the journal, tears out a group of pages covered in writing, and tosses them into the fire. As their edges light, he winces, and then his eyes glaze over as he tears out another page, and another.

He moves slowly, carefully, scanning over each one before he tosses it in, as if he can soak up all of that terrible knowledge and keep it within himself. He draws it out almost painfully, an executioner standing above a prisoner on the chopping block. It is his terrible cross to bear. Noya can barely watch. He stands, rooted to the ground in a way he’s never been before.

When less than a third of the journal remains, Asahi sinks to his knees. He studies the orange of the blaze with a barely present fear, transfixed by the movement of the embers in the air. The journal drops beside him as he watches, tears begin to course their way down his cheeks. A few strands of hair blow loose from his bun and wave in the night wind. Noya watches him look at the stars, the scar on the column of his neck standing out starkly in the firelight, and something comes to him then, something he forgot about.

_ But when I looked at those flames, at the way they climbed into the sky and the way they met the stars...I couldn’t do it. _

“I feel so alone,” Asahi croaks. “And I know I’m not, but it’s horrible. Knowing no one will ever truly understand what I feel or what I am.”

Now Noya moves to him, sinking down on his knees beside him. “You’re right. I can’t understand,” he says softly. “But I can try to take some of your pain away. That’s all I want to do. Help you shoulder everything, even if it’s just a little bit. That’s what I’ve been trying to do all this time.”

“I don’t want to make you feel what I have,” Asahi murmurs. He cups Noya’s cheek. Noya reaches out and holds Asahi’s face, the tears of the man wetting his skin.

_ Why am I trembling? Get it together, c’mon. Now isn’t the time. Stop being a dumbass. _

“Regardless of how badly it hurts, will you share it with me? Because I think nobody deserves to go through life alone. And certainly not you.” Noya finds himself leaning closer and closer, watching the way Asahi’s mouth tightens as the distance between them begins to close. “I’ll shoulder the weight, as little or as much as you want me to. Let me take care of you.”

Silence. He looks into Asahi’s eyes, at the yellow and the gold there. Looks and sees something that might be hope.

“Only if you’ll let me do the same,” Asahi says, low and soft, and suddenly, so quickly he almost doesn’t process it, his mouth is on Noya’s, both of them sharing their joy and their pain and their satisfaction at last.

He presses closer into the kiss, his other arm tightening Asahi’s head against his, knotting his fingers in his hair. His lips are surprisingly soft. Asahi makes a small noise into his mouth, one that may be of pleasure or surprise, Noya can’t tell. He tastes wonderful and new, and unlike the rest of him, his mouth is  _ warm _ . Noya decides in that moment of time, the two of them in front of the fire, that he will be sure to explore every part of him. Azumane Asahi is full of pleasant surprises.

This is everything he’s imagined, and it’s made better by their noses knocking together and the soft bite of their teeth against their lips. It’s messy, but it’s real, and this is  _ Asahi,  _ still afraid to hurt him even while they kiss. He continues to kiss him, his hand still cupping Asahi’s face. Asahi’s own hand leaves his cheek, and he whines a little at its loss, already missing the feel of Asahi’s scars and calluses against his skin.

Instead, he gets something better as hands pick him up, squeezing at the muscle of his thighs. He still deepens their kiss, wrapping his legs around Asahi’s waist for support. Asahi’s hair finally falls out of its bun as Noya’s shaky fingers manage to untie the string around it. He stands to his full height, still not breaking their kiss until Noya pulls away for air, his breathing shallow.

“I will,” he whispers, laying his forehead against Asahi’s, tracing the lines of one of his scars with his pointer finger. “For the rest of my life, I’ll share it all.” He nuzzles his nose against him, making Asahi laugh breathlessly at the sensation.

“Can I-” Asahi is blushing, and it’s absolutely adorable. “Can I kiss you again?”

Noya effectively cuts him off by kissing him again, Asahi far less stiff the second time. This time, he bites at Asahi’s bottom lip. The groan that sparks from the giant creates a fire in the pit of Noya’s stomach, and he finds himself kissing a trail down Asahi’s neck, licking a long stripe down the column of Asahi’s throat, his fingers tracing over his scars in a way that makes Asahi tremble beneath him. He’s not even the one being touched, and he’s entirely engulfed in the man that holds him in his arms.

He’s completely absorbed in him, overwhelmed by his scent and the taste of him in his mouth. He separates his lips from Asahi’s neck and begins to kiss him again, but then it is Asahi who reciprocates, biting gently into Noya’s shoulder. The sharp points of those teeth dig into his skin in a way that’s both pleasant and painful. His hips involuntarily buck, a tightening in his lower core beginning to grow.

He’s been kissed before, but those were mostly sloppy and wet kisses behind a building when he was drunk, ones from both men and women. The sort of kisses one uses to practice for when it actually matters. Of course, there was the one time he and Tanaka kissed on a dare, but this? This is different. It’s raw, it’s intimate, and he finds himself almost melting into Asahi because of it, because of how much he  _ wants  _ him.

_ “Yuu,” _ Asahi breathes, his breath hot against Noya’s body. His name sounds like a vow when it comes from his tongue, a prayer to a god remembered by a sole practitioner. Noya shivers.

“Say it again,” he says thickly.

“Yuu,” Asahi answers, his tone still holding that same reverence. “I’ve wanted to say that since I heard it in the woods. I fell asleep with it on my tongue.”

Noya slides his hands up the back of Asahi’s shirt, dragging his nails down the toned muscles, past the scars as Asahi breathes his name into the hollow of his neck. They’ve been standing almost the whole time, and before they know it, Asahi has moved gently to the inside of the house, leaving the journal and the bonfire behind. 

The world is only the two of them now, and they share it with kisses and sighs that only the other will hear. Asahi walks to the bedroom, shifting the smaller man in his arms, and Noya has only a brief moment to think  _ how the hell does he know how to do this _ before pushing the door closed with his free arm, the other still tangled in Asahi’s hair.

Asahi sits on the edge of the bed, the frame screeching underneath him. Noya pushes him down onto the mattress, laying himself on top of him. He straddles Asahi's body between his legs, bending down to kiss the larger man. He feels something beneath him, bulging through Asahi's pants, and he rocks his hips against it, causing Asahi’s hands to fist at the sheets of the bed. He looks vulnerable and fragile beneath him, both of them sweating, his chest rising and falling with each shallow, rapid breath.

“Beautiful,” Noya says, just as he’s thought in his head so many times. “You're so beautiful. More perfect than any other man."

“You don’t have to say that,” Asahi murmurs, turning his face into the blankets. “I know what I look like.”

“It’s true,” Noya says. “Let me prove it.” He starts at Asahi’s chin, where a thick, knotted scar is, and places a kiss there. He follows the line of the scar down Asahi’s throat, to his shoulder, following the marks of his stitching. The lines extend down his left arm, and he follows there, even kissing one of Asahi’s fingers and sticking the tip in his mouth. He watches Asahi’s eyes widen and he lowers his gaze. Then he moves back to Asahi’s torso, unbuttoning the fabric of his shirt to expose the expanse of sculpted muscle. He kisses a path down Asahi’s chest, across the roadmap of markings and scars.

“I thought you were beautiful as soon as I really looked at you,” he says, his tongue flicking out onto skin glowing with perspire. Asahi tastes of sweat and the bonfire’s woodsmoke, and he can’t get enough of him. “Your eyes, your face, your body-even your scars.” He dips lower and lower, towards the waistline of his pants. Beneath him, Asahi shifts, suddenly sitting up.

“Can we take this slowly? I’m feeling”-the blush is back-“a little overwhelmed.” Noya immediately pauses

“Of course,” Noya says, pulling away to look at him, moving his mouth away from the v of Asahi's hips. Both of them are out of breath, lips beginning to swell. A familiar purple mark is beginning to form on Noya’s neck, where Asahi has bitten and sucked at his skin.

“I’ve never been held like this,” Asahi admits. “It’s so much, all at once.”

Noya nods. Really, all he wants to do is absolutely devour Asahi, but he restrains himself. He, too, is feeling overwhelmed, his heart beating even faster than usual. He pulls Asahi back down, gentler this time, and cuddles against him with his back tucked into the crook of Asahi’s stomach. He can feel Asahi against him through the fabric of their pants, and he’s feeling the same thing, the heat in his abdomen refusing to dissipate even after the time begins to drag on and on. But despite the obvious arousal from the both of them, he lets him take things at his own pace, peppering Noya’s neck with gentle love bites and kisses, clearly still worried about hurting him.

His lips tickle at Noya’s neck, and he giggles at the sensation. He’s unable to control his feet and kicks out, still giggling. Asahi stops, concerned.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asks. Noya beams up at him, pressing a quick kiss to Asahi’s jaw.

“Nah, just ticklish,” he responds. Asahi’s face lights up, and he resumes kissing Noya’s neck with more fervor, causing Noya to giggle even more.

He continues his attack by covering him with kisses where he’s most sensitive. Asahi finds the crook of his neck, the place where Noya’s hips meet his waist, the little spot behind his ear. All of them are marked by hordes of feather-light kisses that make Noya shriek with laughter by the end, his feet kicking at Asahi’s shins while his arms flail for escape. The giant holds him to his chest, wrapping his arms around him and preventing him from breaking free, still covering him with the gentle kisses of a new lover.

Eventually, his torment by Asahi ends and they curl up to face one another, exhausted, staring at each other and laughing awkwardly whenever the other notices. Noya plays with Asahi’s hair still, twining strands around his fingers while Asahi laughs quietly. Eventually, they turn to see the dull glow of the fire through Noya’s window. He moves to go to put it out, but a hand on his shoulder stops him.

Asahi picks him up bridal-style, wrapping him in their shared blanket. Noya shuts his eyes, sleepy from the day’s activities and the kisses. He allows himself to be rocked half-asleep by the motion of Asahi’s body from the bedroom back to the bonfire. He pads softly through the house, though the floorboards still wincing under his weight, holding Noya like he weighs nothing at all.

Once outside, Asahi bends down and sets him gently on the ground, standing behind him so they can both be wrapped in the warmth of the blanket, Noya’s head poking out from the middle. He watches the journal in Asahi’s hands, Asahi’s brow furrowing as he decides what to do with the rest of the book.

He doesn’t rip out the pages like he did before. Instead, he just tosses it into the fire, where it lights, flames beginning to take over the book’s pages. It’s not some large, impactful moment like it was before. It’s just another conclusion. The start of a new beginning.

“It’s over,” he says simply. “I don’t have to think about him ever again. I have something in my life he couldn’t have possibly dreamed of.” He picks Noya back up, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He can get used to being swung around by Asahi for the rest of his life, if it comes to that. 

“We’ve gotta put the fire out,” he says, kissing him again. Normally, he has enough words for any occasion, but Asahi makes him absolutely speechless. He hopes that kiss reflects how proud of him he really is.

He wiggles out of Asahi’s embrace and drops to the ground, walking over so that Asahi doesn’t have to get closer to the fire than absolutely necessary. He douses the wood with water from the barrel and begins to head back inside. “You want some food? I brought more pork buns.”

Asahi beams. He’s tired, soot smudged across his skin, and his lips are swollen from Noya’s various kisses and bites. He looks wrecked, to put it politely. Wrecked and beautiful and stunning in every way imaginable.

“However did someone like me find the perfection that you are?” He asks, almost to himself, and then scoops Noya back up again, finally unafraid to touch him. With their kiss, so many of the barriers between them have broken down. So Noya kisses him again, just because he can.

“I am pretty great, aren’t I?” He says, then lets Asahi carry him back into the warmth of the cottage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last! I had so much fun writing this scene, and I hope it was enough for all of you! Also, my birthday was this week, so I took a little bit of time off from writing. I hope that's okay! :) As always, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Follow me on twitter @wormfanatic and tumblr @worm-fanatic


	11. Chapter 11

Noya’s in town when he gets the news. He’s just finished fixing the roof of Kenma’s bookshop, the sun beating down on his back as he sits comfortably cross-legged on the rooftop, eating his lunch. A small boy runs past him, dragging his friend alongside him.

“C’mon! I wanna see the big guy!” The child says, the other tripping after him. Noya’s heart skips a beat. There’s not a lot of people they could be talking about. Most everyone is used to seeing Aone or Ushijima. That leaves one person he can think of, and he has no idea why he’d be here.

“Hey!” He yells down at them. “What big guy?”

“There’s some big scary guy with a bun!” The kid wrinkles his nose, clearly annoyed at Noya for sidetracking him from his task. “Go see him yourself!” He darts off, his other friend in tow. Noya leaves his tools and his lunch on the roof and slides off into the road, trying to act as calm and collected as he can.

Why would Asahi be in town? He should be working with Iwaizumi all day today, unless some terrible accident happened, something Noya doesn’t want to imagine. Either way, he has to go make sure everything’s alright. He pokes his head through the doorframe of the shop. Kenma doesn’t even look up, totally enveloped in the novel he’s reading.

“Roof’s done, I’ll be back,” he says. Kenma nods, the only sign that he actually listened to what Noya said. With him, the less words involved, the better. Him and Akaashi are both that way, the two of them forming a quiet peace that can be felt in both their establishments. How they wound up being that close to the chaos that is Kuroo and Bokuto respectively, he’ll never know.

Noya hops down the tiny stone stairs leading up to the shop’s entrance, trying to look above the heads of people to see Asahi’s towering body. He shouldn’t be too hard to spot. Noya climbs on top of a stack of crates for a better vantage point, shielding his eyes from the autumn sun, high and bright in the sky.

From this point, it isn’t hard to find him. His breath catches in his throat, something that seems to happen every time he sees the man he can now call his partner. His hair is pulled back, shirtsleeves over his forearms instead of rolled up like they usually are. The only scars on display are those on his hands and face, looking far less prominent from this distance. But Noya knows now of the ones that aren’t in full view, on his back and snaking up his arms, ones that he didn't know existed.

Since that night by the bonfire, they’ve kissed and touched one another freely, taking time to explore the other. It feels like now they’ve got all the time in the world to work through the tangled knots of this new, strange relationship and the intimacies that come with it. Noya wants to learn Asahi’s body with the utmost care, no matter how hungry for him he may be. He doesn’t want to overwhelm him again like he did that first night.

He finally focuses on what exactly is going on. Asahi walks with Iwaizumi, his friend talking to him casually. Some people stop and stare, as is to be expected, and his gaze flickers to them for a brief second before returning to Iwaizumi, who speaks in a calm and measured voice whenever he notices Asahi’s nerves. Still, just as many people pass him by after a brief second, uncaring about the stranger in their town. Apparently weirder things have happened here, though Noya can’t imagine what they could be. They just keep going about their business, studying him and then moving on with their lives, likely thinking he’s the victim of some terrible childhood accident that left him hideously deformed. And in that respect they wouldn’t be wrong.

Noya climbs down from the pile of crates and pushes through the hordes of people to get to Asahi. He’s nervous, Noya can tell, but he isn’t alone. If he was to be with anyone, he’s glad it’s Iwaizumi. He finally reaches his friends, crossing his arms as he walks up to them.

“Is everything okay?” He asks, trying to keep the concern from leaking into his tone. Nothing appears to be wrong with either of the two, his keen eyes looking for any signs of something amiss.

“Surprise,” Asahi murmurs, the tips of his ears beginning to turn red.

“We’ve been talking about it for a while now. Surprising you while you’re working.” Iwaizumi punches Asahi in the arm. “I guess he stands out a little too much to really surprise you, huh?”

“You too?” Asahi looks at him, clearly betrayed. As is their usual sign of their affection, Daichi and Suga have taken to hitting Asahi whenever he acts “too negative,” regardless of Noya’s protests. Iwaizumi must’ve heard about it from Daichi. Noya is not surprised. The amount of slapping Oikawa endures from him, though deserved, is extreme.

“You guys wanted to surprise me?” Noya asks, feeling his face split into a smile as the concern leaching out of him in one large wave. He’s so, so proud of Asahi, even if he keeps looking around like someone will shoot him in the back at any moment. This is a far bigger step than he ever could’ve imagined. “You didn’t have to do this!”

“It is a little tiring going between only two places all the time,” Asahi says. “And I wanted to spend my first day here with you.” His pinky finds Noya’s own, the gesture concealed in the shadows where no one can see it. “There’s a lot of places I’d like to go. It’s nice to be out in the daylight.”

“There’s another reason, too,” Iwaizumi adds. “He’s been working so hard on the farm that Tooru wanted him to come by and fit him for some clothes that’ll fit properly.” His expression doesn’t change even as he speaks of his lover. That’s always been their way, the two of them. Polar opposites. “He really, really wants you to like him. Though he’ll never admit it. He needs everyone to like him, all the time, but it’s even worse with you for some reason.”

“Really?” Asahi smiles sheepishly, embarrassed by Iwaizumi's statement.

“Let me get my stuff from Kozume’s and I’ll meet you at Oikawa’s. Unless you wanna come?” Noya really cannot stop smiling. He’s so proud of Asahi right now. This is greater than any gift he could’ve ever asked for. Seeing him banter so easily with the stoic Iwaizumi, walking around the town square; it’s almost too good to be true.

“I’d really like that,” Asahi says. He waves Iwaizumi goodbye as the farmer goes down the street to Oikawa’s shop. He walks along with Noya, still looking around anxiously, at the horses and the people walking about, some of them still staring. Some of the kids still stop and stare at him, but they relax as soon as they see Noya beside him.

“How do you feel?”

“Like I’m on display,” he mumbles. “But I wasn’t expecting anything else. It’s better than them stabbing at me with pitchforks and calling me an abomination.”

“Anyone ever does that to you, I’ll kick their ass.” He looks up at him as they go to Kenma’s shop, Asahi stepping up the steps with gentle care that contrasts to the way Noya darts up them. His perch offers him a few more inches of height, and he puffs out his chest. “I mean it. You just tell me.”

“You don’t have to do that. Not for me.” Asahi sighs, brushing a strand of his hair away.

“Yeah, but I will. No one's ever gonna treat you like that again.” Noya longs to climb into his arms and kiss the worry from his face, but things never go away that easily, as much as he’d like them to. “And if they do, I’m gonna do something about it. That’s what relationships are like, I think. You gotta take care of each other.”

Asahi opens his mouth to say something else, but suddenly a loud shout from the street distracts the both of them. Bokuto and Hinata are running up to Akaashi’s side of the shop, Bokuto carrying Hinata on his back. Hinata waves enthusiastically. 

“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto calls out. “How’s it going, Noya? And  _ who  _ is this?”

“Wow, you’re really tall!” Hinata says from his perch on Bokuto’s shoulders. “How did you get so tall? How much milk did you drink?”

The giant tenses a little beside Noya as Hinata continues to barrage them with words and questions, the majority of which relate to Asahi’s height.

“He’s new to town,” Noya explains once he has an opening. Even though they’re loud and excitable, of all the people to run into, he’s glad it’s these two. Both of them are like overgrown puppies. “He’s staying with Daichi and Suga and me!”

“What’s your name? Are you stayin’ in town long?” Bokuto asks, putting his hands on his hips and craning his neck as he tries to meet Asahi’s gaze. Asahi attempts to look anywhere else, swallowing nervously. Now Noya truly takes his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze that hopefully says  _ I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall. _

“Azumane Asahi. And...forever, hopefully,” he manages, still not meeting Bokuto’s wide golden eyes. The man pumps his fist in the air, Hinata unfortunately toppling to the ground at the sudden movement. He slips from his carefully balanced place on Bokuto’s shoulders and lands on the ground. Asahi gasps and reaches out a hand in a feeble attempt to help him back up. Hinata, as bouncy as ever, hops to his feet.

“I’m okay!” He announces, a little too loudly. He draws a few looks from passersby on the street. Neither him or Bokuto seem to notice. “Happens all the time! Wait, we haven’t introduced ourselves! I’m Hinata Shouyou.”

“And I’m the one and only Bokuto Koutaro. It’s great to meet you, Azumane!” Bokuto flashes one of his characteristically dazzling smiles, so full of kindness and energy. “Say, if you’re staying forever, you need any work? We could use someone like you at the forge!” He flexes his biceps. “Not that these bad boys aren’t good enough or anything!”

“I’m actually already working at Iwaizumi’s farm,” Asahi responds, finally relaxing now that they seem to accept him. But that’s always been their way, the two of them. The only person Noya’s ever really seen Hinata clash heads with is Tsukishima, but then again, who doesn’t? And he’s too close to Kageyama for that to count as actual annoyance. Bokuto and Hinata don’t have a single malicious bone in their bodies.

“Iwa? Aw, hey, he’s great! The best!”

“Speaking of Iwaizumi, I gotta grab my tools and then we’re heading over to Oikawa’s,” Noya says, well aware of the schedule the tailor likes to keep. Iwaizumi’s presence will only act as a brief distraction before Oikawa starts chomping at the bit to get to a customer.

“Oh, yeah! That reminds me! Tanaka said to tell you that he’s doing it today, whatever that means!” Hinata absently waves to Bokuto as he vanishes into Akaashi’s shop, antsy to see his partner before his break runs out. “I’ve gotta go, but it was nice to meet you! I think I’ll see you tonight, he invited some of us to the tavern for later!”

Noya’s heart swells. “Yeah, I’ll see you at the tavern tonight!” He calls, watching Hinata also vanish into the print shop. Right now, they’re probably begging for Akaashi to give them the lunches they forgot on their way to work. He always packs extra because the two of them are too forgetful to pack food of any kind.

“What’s happening tonight?”

“Just a hunch, but I think Ryuu’s proposing to Kiyoko tonight. He told me about it, but I didn’t think it would be this soon.” Noya can feel himself smiling as he leans against Asahi’s arm. “Would you be up for a night at the tavern? The Tanakas know how to throw a party. And I’ve got a room there, so we can get blackout drunk and not worry.”

“I don’t even know if I get drunk.” He blanches. “I’ve never even had alcohol.”

“Well, it doesn’t hurt to try something at least once.” Noya looks up at the rim of the roof, where his tools are seated just out of Asahi’s reach. “Do you mind giving me a boost?” Asahi obliges, gently picking up Noya and sitting him on the roof’s edge, strong arms wrapping around his waist for far longer than necessary.

From this view, Noya is the one looking down on him, at the way the light shifts across his skin. Asahi’s hair shines in the sunlight as he looks up at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. It’s a whole different way of looking at him, and one that he thinks he’ll never get tired of.

“Are you okay, if we go tonight? I know today has probably been a lot, so I’ll understand if-”

“I’ll be fine. Even if I worry the whole time, I’ll have you.” Asahi touches the side of one of Noya’s legs, the brush of his fingers sending a chill up his back. “That’s what you said, isn’t it? We have each other.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, we do. And tonight, if you’re nervous or overwhelmed, we’ll leave. I’ll be right by you the whole time. I promise.” He takes Asahi’s hand, kissing the scars over his knuckles lightly. “Whoever’s there...they’re good people. My friends. And I haven’t always been the best with trusting people, but I really trust them. And if there’s people there I don’t know, then they know Kiyoko and Tanaka. They’re some of the best judges of character I’ve ever met.”

“Do you know how much you have given me?” Asahi asks, his pupils wide and dark. “I never would have imagined this. Going to a pub to meet new people. Being here, with you. Being  _ alive. _ ”

“I’m gonna be honest and say me neither.” If Noya makes Asahi feel alive, like somebody, then Asahi makes him feel like lightning. Pure electricity in a way that he never thought anyone could feel.

He longs to stay here, on top of the rooftop, brushing his fingers through Asahi’s hair while they watch the clouds roll lazily above their heads. He thinks of telling him how much he loves him right here and now in the mild chill of the afternoon, of kissing him until both of them are red-face and breathless, out of sight from the rest of the world on the roof.

“We should go,” Asahi whispers, reaching out his other hand to help him down from the roof like the gentleman he is. Noya picks up his bag and sighs regretfully.

“I mean, I guess we can,” he says. “If I fall, will you catch me?”

“What kind of a question is that?” Asahi flinches as Noya slides down from the roof, wincing as he lands squarely on the cobblestones. He reaches out a hand to steady him. They walk in contented silence, Asahi slowing down his pace so Noya can keep up with him on his far shorter legs. Noya points out the shops of his friends, waving to the people he knows. They wave back despite Asahi at his side, and Asahi offers his own shy gesture of introduction, still trying to make himself as small as possible. They respond, and gradually, Asahi begins to relax even more.

It’s all going well until someone checks Noya in the shoulder, hard. His shoulder groans at the impact, the person continuing past him without an apology. He whirls around, seeing the retreating backs of two workers, people he’s seen around but doesn’t know by name. The kind that like to keep to themselves and drink every night at the same shitty bar. They’re muttering to each other, and he only catches a small snippet of their conversation. It’s more than enough.

_ “Fuckin’ freak, if you ask me.” _

_ “Can’t believe they let the big bastard walk around. Gonna scare away the kids.”  _ They snicker at this latest comment.

Noya bristles, gritting his teeth. They can only be talking about Asahi, who still stands out like a sore thumb despite the bustle of the town. He turns, stalking towards them, but a hand on his shoulder stops him.

“Don’t do it,” Asahi says with the faintest hint of misery. “It’s not worth it. Let’s just keep walking.” He swallows. “I expected this.”

_ Just you because you expected it doesn’t mean you deserve it,  _ he thinks, his gaze lingering on them as the two of them as he watches them go, unable to vanquish the bitter taste in his mouth.

* * *

Asahi’s fitting goes incredibly well, Oikawa measuring him and even clicking his tongue over Asahi’s new bruises he’s gained from his work on the farm. Nothing has ever escaped Oikawa's notice.

Noya leans against the wall, entirely focused on watching the two of them even while Kindaichi and Kageyama continue to bicker. Iwaizumi stares into space behind the counter, sipping a glass of water with his shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows; the very picture of bored, affectionate relaxation.

He should be acting the same way; relaxed, happy even. Everything should be fine. So why does he still feel so much anger towards those assholes, when by all accounts things have been going far better than expected? Why does he feel like he can’t breathe because of the way his heart pounds furiously in his ears? His blood seems to boil in his veins, his fists urging to swing at one of the bastards and break his jaw. He’ll never forget how to fight.

Asahi told him to let it go. And he should. He really, really should. But Noya has never been the greatest at following instructions, not since he was small.

“I think I’m going to get some air,” he says, trying to sound calm. “I’ll be back in a bit.” Asahi, occupied under the constraints of Oikawa’s tape measure, can hardly wave goodbye. Iwaizumi raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t say a word. Noya will have to thank him for that later. 

He shouldn’t be long. The afternoon is beginning to fade into dusk, blue turning into the oranges and purples of twilight. People are beginning to clear out, heading back to their homes or out to the bar before nightfall. The horses have been tucked back into their stables for a night of rest. Noya continues to walk, creeping along the wall until he gets to the place he knows he needs to go.

Beside Aran’s pottery shop is a dingy tavern, its condition greasy and dirty compared to the Tanaka’s. The building’s grimy appearance stands in contrast to Aran’s well-kept one, with its brightly lit windows and perfectly scrubbed steps. He knows the inside is just as neat, a rarity in of itself in a community full of artisans.

But it’s not Aran or the tavern itself he’s here for. He creeps into the alley between the two, and there he finds his target, just where he thought he would be. He knows their type. One of the men who insulted Asahi smokes a pipe in the barely-light alley. When he exhales, the smoke swirls and spirals up into the air. He taps his feet against the bricks, their grout coated with dirt and mud and god knows what else.  _ Tap. Tap. Tap. _ The toe of his boot scrapes against the ground, the noise echoing slightly as it bounces off the walls of the alley. 

Noya slinks toward him, as quiet as he knows how to be. Even from this distance, he can smell the watered-down liquor and sweat from the man pervading the air. The man’s friend is nowhere to be seen. He steps in a small puddle of water, creating a small splash that alerts the man to his presence.

“What do you want-” The man turns towards him, face screwed in annoyance.

His fist connects to his jaw. Noya pounces on top of him, yelling a war cry. The man tries to fight back, hands clawing at Noya’s skin, but he doesn’t find any purchase as Noya pries him off him. He brings his arm back and the man’s head cracks against the ground as he delivers another punch to his jaw. They’re both shouting, Noya screaming while the man drunkenly yells at him to stop, asking him what the hell he’s doing through bloodied lips. He grabs at the front of his shirt, tearing the fabric, and Noya snarls. He swings his fist into the man, grabbing at his hair to keep his head stable, and his nose crunches under Noya’s fist.

He doesn’t care who hears them. Because right now, he’s not the person Asahi fell in love with, the Noya that everyone knows. No, this is Noya the street rat, Noya the orphan. The Noya who fought dogs for scraps and the Noya who had to eat trash just to survive. 

And this version of Noya doesn’t want anyone to ever talk about Asahi like that again. He’s not content with leaving things the way they are, forcing Asahi to hear the cries and calls of  _ freak _ and  _ monster _ and  _ abomination _ . Not content with having Asahi hear those words for the rest of his life. So he keeps beating at the man until his face is a mess of bruises, one of his eyes blackened, blood and spit dribbling from his mouth.

“Jesus!” He hears somebody say, someone vaguely familiar, and suddenly arms are around him, prying him off the man. He screams, trying to escape from their grasp. “Calm down, Noya!”

He looks into the eyes of Akaashi Keiji, calm and full of concern. Akaashi drags him away from the injured man even as he thrashes in his arms. From beside him, Kenma sighs, looking at the man they’ve just left in the middle of the alleyway like it’s no big deal.

“What happened? Did he do something to you?” Akaashi asks, once they’re out of sight of the tavern, holding onto Noya’s arm with an iron grip, like Noya will run back and continue to beat up the man.

“Does it matter?” He growls.

“It seems to matter to you.” Akaashi’s face softens. There’s no hostility in his voice, just calm and level sympathy. “Just tell us what happened. You wouldn’t do something like that without a reason. Neither of us are going to judge.” The gentle easiness of his words snaps Noya out of the haze that has come over him, and he sighs, trying to shake off the adrenaline.

“They insulted Asahi, alright? And he told me to let it go, but I just couldn’t.”

“Oh, Noya.” Akaashi pats him on the back, not quite the best with physical contact. “It may have been the right thing, but you went against what he wanted instead.”

“So what if I did? They shouldn’t have said that to him, not when things have been going so well-” An awkward tear drips down his cheek, and he wipes it away with his sleeve, stained and splattered with dirt and a little blood.

“He deserved it,” Kenma says flatly. “Every single punch. You did what you thought you needed to do, that’s all. But the problem is that you went against what he wanted, even if you thought it would be for the best.”

“I just don’t want him to have to go through that again, you know? He’s been through too much, but-”

“He’s stronger than you think he is,” Akaashi says firmly, in the voice he uses during one of Bokuto’s mood swings. “Look, I may not know Asahi, and I won’t pretend like I do, but Bokuto told me about him this afternoon. And I think he doesn’t want you or need you to fight his own battles, even if it makes you feel better.”

“How do you expect him to get stronger if you do everything for him?” Kenma raises an eyebrow. “I tried to do that for Kuroo when we were children and it didn’t work. Never does. Everyone just winds up feeling bad and I don’t see the point of that. Let people do what they think they’re capable of.”

Now that the adrenaline from the fight has faded and the sheer honesty in his friends’ words sinks in, Noya winces. A hot surge of shame settles over him. They’re absolutely right, even if he doesn’t want them to be. How will he expect Asahi to live a normal life if Noya keeps acting like this? He acted like he was beating up that man for Asahi, but he was simply doing it for himself, so he could be the one that felt better about things.

He regrets skirting around Asahi, slipping away from him when he had the first opportunity to disobey his wishes. And it doesn’t help that Asahi never asks for much, which makes him feel even worse. But he can’t find himself to feel for the asshole he just pummeled into the ground.

“You’re right,” he admits. Akaashi smiles. Kenma, as usual, doesn’t react, inside brushing his hair out of his face.

“Go back,” Kenma says. “And be honest.” The pair walk on either side of him, all the way back to Oikawa’s shop, and watch as he goes in before they make their leave, heading down to Tanaka’s pub to begin the celebration.

Once inside, standing just at the threshold so he doesn’t ruin Oikawa’s floor, he sees Asahi. He stands in a shirt that finally goes all the way down to his wrists. It’s a soft shade of cream that softens the gray of his skin, slightly belled out in the sleeves, the shirt buttoned up to a high, stiff collar that covers some of his scars. Oikawa is slightly hunched over, brows furrowed, studying the fit of the fabric at Asahi’s waist.

“It’s just a prototype, but the measurements seem to be alright,” he mutters to himself. “Kageyama, did you write these down?”  
“Yeah,” the apprentice grumbles. Oikawa stands up to his full height, stretching. As lanky as he is, he’s still small compared to the giant beside him.

“I should get these to you soon,” he says. “Are you alright to come back into town once these are done?”

“I should be.” Asahi looks at the shirt with slight disbelief, a smile spreading across his face as he realizes this is  _ his _ . Then he looks up and sees Noya, taking sight of the dirt smudged across his clothing and forehead. He pales. “What happened?”

“I did something stupid,” Noya admits, his cheeks flushing. “Once...once you’re done, can we talk?”

“You are free to leave, Azumane,” Oikawa adds, his eyes narrowing as he assesses the situation. “The shirt is yours to keep.”

Asahi looks between the two of them, a little frantically. “Can’t I at least pay you?”

“Nonsense. It’s a gift. Iwa, are we going to the tavern now?” Oikawa offers his arm to his lover. “Boys, lock up the shop for me!” He waves delicately as they make their way out.

“Sure we are, Shittykawa.”

“I hate those names!” The tailor whines, and then they’re gone.

“Thank you two for your patience,” Asahi says, bowing awkwardly to the two apprentices, and then walks over to Noya. “What happened?”  
“I’m sorry,” Noya blurts out. He pulls him out the door and into the space between two buildings, giving them some privacy. “I did exactly what you told me to not to do and I-”

“What?” He watches Asahi’s face tighten.

“I beat up the guy who called you a freak.” Now that’s out in the air, no taking it back, he feels far better than he did before. It’s easier for him to say the truth than just continue to skirt around it.

“Oh.” Asahi leans against the wall, looking almost relieved.

“And I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I was pissed at what he said and I don’t want you to go through that again.” His fingernails cut into his palms as he balls up his hands. “I’m so tired of you having to hear that from everyone, Asahi!”

Asahi pulls him into a hug, cutting off his rant. In that embrace, Noya melts into him, still trying to be cautious of getting dirt on his new shirt. He can feel Asahi trembling slightly.

“You’re right. You shouldn’t have,” his partner rasps. “But I’m glad you did. Because...because I wanted to.  _ So  _ badly. But I knew that if I went after him, I wouldn’t be able to stop. And I’d kill him, because he sounded so much like  _ him  _ in that moment.” He hugs Noya tighter. “I’m afraid of my own strength. Of myself, too. What I can do. And every time it seems like things are turning around, something happens, whether by my doing or someone else’s. And then I’ll wonder if maybe everyone should just be afraid of me. You, too.”

“I’ll never be afraid of you. Even if you want me to be.”

“I know. And I don’t know if that makes it better or worse.” There’s silence as they contemplate their words. Noya rubs small circles into Asahi’s back as the giant breathes, inhaling and exhaling. Asahi doesn’t let him go, his scent enveloping Noya entirely. They comfort each other in the ways they know how to, because when push comes to shove, neither of them are the best at words.

“It’s hard, but don’t dwell on the bad shit so much. There’s so much to see. So much beauty, even if the world is cruel.” Noya finally looks up at him.

“You should take your own advice,” Asahi says, rubbing at the spot of dirt on Noya’s forehead. Now that he’s finally come down from the high of the fight, his face hurts like hell.

“Nah, I just know how to hold a grudge.” He snuggles into Asahi. “But you’re right. We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?”

“We haven’t made things easy.” Asahi chuckles, and then he tilts his head upwards. “Oh, look. The stars are out.” Noya looks along with him, and when he looks up, he’s suddenly aware of how small the two of them are in the grand scheme of the world. It’s breathtaking, really. They’re so tiny compared to the sheer magnitude of the night sky.

“Easy isn’t always the best,” he murmurs. Who would he be if his life had been easy? Someone entirely different. He wouldn’t have met Asahi if things were simple and uncomplicated. It would’ve gotten easier if Asahi had never left those gifts for him on his window, a reminder that he was still there. If he had left Noya for good. But instead he came back. He nestles his head into Asahi’s body as they look up at the stars, so much older and wiser than the two of them.

He’ll take it all. Every fight, every insult, everything thrown his way. He’ll take it all if it means he can stay with Azumane Asahi. 

If it means they can be happy together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was such a beast to write for no reason, but I'm very excited for these upcoming chapters! A lot is going to happen before this fic is over, lol. Also! I'm way over the word limit I originally imagined when I first began this fic, but I've been having so much fun writing that it doesn't matter. This wouldn't have happened without all your unbelievable support! Much love from me <3
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @wormfanatic
> 
> And follow me on my tumblr @worm-fanatic


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, there's some mild NSFW in this chapter! If you want to skip, it starts with "Asahi stumbles inside" and goes to the end of the chapter. Thanks for reading!

By the time they arrive, after some time spent talking and gazing at the stars, the tavern is already packed. Kiyoko and Tanaka sit at the end of a large table near the back of the room, surrounded by friends. Tanaka leans against her shoulder, completely and utterly in love with the woman by his side. Half of his mug of ale is already gone, and he’s likely had a few already. Noya surveys the room, taking Asahi’s hand in his. Here, they can be affectionate as they want without judgement. Everyone here knows Noya, and a few know Asahi or at the very least, know of him.

“Noya!” Tanaka shouts from the other end of the room. “Asahi! You made it!”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Noya can feel himself grins. Him and Asahi push through the tables packed with their friends to get to Tanaka. At one table, Oikawa is already snuggled up against Iwaizumi, Michimiya taking their empty mugs away. He watches as Matsukawa and Hanamaki sit across from them. Bokuto, Akaashi, Kuroo, and Kenma are at their own table, already hooting with laughter. Bokuto is even more pumped up than usual, and even Kenma is snorting over his drink. Ushijima and Tendou are involved in an intense game of arm wrestle, one that Tendou is currently losing miserably. The majority of their friends seem to be here, with the exception of Kageyama and Hinata, who are usually late to events like this for one reason or another.

“You okay?” Noya murmurs to Asahi. He nods, and squeezes his hand.

“I’ll be alright.” He watches as people begin to drink in the sight of Asahi. Oikawa waves like he hadn’t seen him just ten minutes ago. From across the bar, where he’s currently pouring drinks, Yaku watches him walk with a look of interest. Aran smiles and waves, as kind and open as always. Kita turns on his stool to study him, just as Kita does with everyone. They weave through the tables and finally sit down beside Tanaka, Asahi lowering himself with care onto one of the chairs. It still creaks under him, making him shift his weight awkwardly. It does nothing to help the squealing of the chair.

“Kiyoko!” Noya beams, sitting in the chair beside Asahi. She greets him with an open-mouthed smile, a rare sight for one as demure as she normally is.

“Hello, Noya.” Her fingers wrap around her mug of beer, the silver of her engagement ring flashing into the low light of the tavern. “And hello to you as well, sir. I’m Shimizu Kiyoko. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

“Oh! I-I’m um, Azumane Asahi,” Asahi says, opening up a little bit even as he stutters out his introduction. If Kiyoko feels odd about his appearance, she doesn’t let it show as she pushes up her spectacles and leans across the table, Tanaka slumping forward with her movement. He clearly can’t get enough of her right now, looking at her like a thirsty man who’s just discovered a well of water.

“Oh! Azumane. Suga’s told me so much about you. We work together at the apothecary.” Her eyes sparkle. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.” Tanaka puts his arm around her as they begin to speak to Asahi, asking him how his job is going while Noya occasionally interjects. Eventually, Daichi and Suga arrive and sit at the table with them. Suga’s face already flushed from alcohol.

“Hey, Suga!” Tanaka says. The silver-haired man bursts into peals of laughter as if Tanaka has told him the funniest joke ever.

“Tanaka,” Suga laughs. “You’re getting married! And to Kiyoko!” He turns to Daichi, almost teary-eyed. “They grow up so fast.”

“I’m a year younger than you!”

“Does it matter?” Suga flicks Tanaka, slurring his words a little. “You’re still just a little kid to me.”

“How deep in his cups  _ is  _ he?” Noya asks Daichi, who shrugs.

“He was like this when I found him.”

“We celebrated a little bit at the apothecary,” Kiyoko admits, uncharacteristically giggling a tiny bit. She’s clearly more tipsy than she lets on, but then again, she’s always been the best person to hide something. “I can drink more than him, any day.”

“Can _ not _ ,” Suga protests, then gives up and snuggles into Daichi’s chest. Daichi rubs his back, whispering something to him that makes Suga chuckle hysterically, then falls silent. Noya thinks his brother might’ve fallen asleep right then and there, something he’s prone to do when drunk. There’s been many a night Daichi has had to quite literally carry him home.

“So,” Tanaka says, smirking, “how’s it going between the two of you?” Asahi stiffens and begins to blush. Noya opens his mouth to say exactly how wonderful things are when Michimiya appears at the table.

“What can I get you?” She says, crossing her arms. “For you guys, it’s on the house tonight.”

“Is that really a wise business decision?” Daichi asks. “Especially with Suga  _ and  _ Noya here? You’ll be losing more money than you’re gonna make.” Michimiya rolls her eyes and chuckles.

“Look, I didn’t say it. Saeko did. Also, Suga’s out cold right now, if you didn’t notice.” She punches Daichi in the arm. “The usual for all of you?” She then finally seems to notice Asahi, trying to make himself as small as possible, and her lips part into a small  _ o.  _ Asahi leans back on the stool, as if to get away from her. Noya knows Michimiya will never hurt him, but he knows of the fire and pitchforks that must be flitting through Asahi’s mind.

Noya thinks of standing up and getting him out of there, but Michimiya shakes her head as if to snap out of it. She slaps her palms against her cheeks. Asahi jumps in his seat. The wood squeals at the sudden gesture, making Suga sleepily lift his head from its place in Daichi’s chest at the noise. She lifts her hands from her face, revealing two red marks where her hands were.

“Manners, Yui! I’m so sorry, please forgive me. I’m awful with introductions, always have been. Would you like anything to drink, sir?”

“Some ale, please,” Asahi murmurs, unable to meet her eyes. She smiles, clearly trying to mend their terrible first impressions of one another.

“Of course! Your hair is really lovely, by the way. I like the style you’ve got it in.” She brushes a hand to her own cropped locks. “I can’t do anything worthwhile with mine.”

Now Asahi looks up. His scars catch in the candlelight, the rough pattern across his face shifting with the light. “Lovely?” He whispers. “T-thank you.” With a jolt, Noya realizes that Michimiya is only the second person to compliment him on his appearance, the first being Noya himself.

“Anyday, stranger!” She walks away in a flurry of skirts, Bokuto hooting at her much to Akaashi’s embarrassment.

“Miyamiya, come drink with us!” Kuroo finds this incredibly funny as he begins to snicker, slapping Kenma on the back until the smaller man grimaces.

“Miyamiya,” he cackles over and over again. “You can’t even say her name right! Isn’t that funny, Kenma?”

“Yes,” the blonde grumbles into his mug. Michimiya sidles over and plucks Bokuto’s empty pint from his hands, even when he protests. He pouts after she leaves, despite her reassurances that yes, she  _ will _ be back with more.

None of them have any idea how loud they’re being. The volume from their small table seems to overtake the noise that comes from the rest of the totally packed tavern. The only sound from outside that spills in comes when someone new arrives. Ennoshita arrives after them, opening the door along with Sakusa, who immediately breaks away to find Atsumu with Aran and Kita. Atsumu’s favorite activity seems to be yelling at his brother every time the door to the kitchen swings open, revealing Osamu hard at work inside. Ennoshita settles down beside Tanaka, their table of close friends beginning to grow.

“Enno- _ shita _ ! Tell me your grossest medical stories!” Tanaka says, tilting back his head to drink the remainder of his beer. Daichi, not one with a strong stomach, begins to protest at this as he tries to enjoy a plate of food. 

Noya would normally listen in and demand blood and gore along with his best friend, but tonight he tunes them out and starts to point people out to Asahi. From across the room, Aone watches the party calmly, sipping something that might be soup from a cup. Beside him, an already blasted Futakuchi throws back another shot as Koganegawa watches with wide eyes. He attempts to do a shot, but spits it out all over the polished wood of the bar, making Futakuchi scream with laughter. Yaku observes this event with barely contained rage. He had just cleaned the bar’s surface.

The tavern is in absolute chaos. Noya would expect nothing less from Tanaka’s engagement party. All their friends and acquaintances are here, practically half the town, and all of them are varying levels of intoxicated.

“There’s Yachi!” Tanaka shouts, interrupting an oncoming threat from Daichi that entails what he will do to him if he makes Ennoshita tell a story about leeches and old people. The blonde freezes in the entryway, almost like a frightened rabbit when it smells a predator. With amusement, Noya’s reminded of the day he first spoke to Asahi and the giant ran away, even though Yachi is far less intimidating than Asahi.

She practically tiptoes over to their table, carefully sitting beside Kiyoko. She yelps when she sees Asahi, his skin tone causing him to blend in with the shadows. He’s practically twice her size, given that she’s even smaller than Noya. Yachi claps an embarrassed hand over her mouth, as if to take back the sound that has escaped her lips.

“H-Hi,” She squeaks through her fingers. “I’m Yachi.” Michimiya comes to the rescue and sets their drinks in front of them, an extra for Yachi included. She sips it before speaking again, like the alcohol will provide her with courage. She sets the cup down and winces at the bitter taste. “N-nice to meet you.”

“Don’t worry,” Noya whispers to Asahi. “She’s like this with literally everyone. It’s not just you.”

“I’m Azumane,” he offers, his voice more than a little shaky. Yachi seems to relax a little at meeting someone just as nervous as she is. They all clink their glasses together and toast to the new couple before downing their drinks.

The table is a flurry of activity as people come up to congratulate the newly engaged couple. Finally, the small group composed of Kageyama, Hinata, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima arrives, making the tavern’s volume even larger than usual.

“Can we go?” He hears Tsukishima ask dully, followed by Hinata jumping and smacking him in the back of the head. He ducks behind Kageyama for cover before the clerk can rage at him.

The hour and Noya’s mugs of beer seem to slip away far too quickly, and it isn’t long before Noya is warm and giggly from the alcohol. Eventually, he slides onto Asahi’s lap, deciding it’s more comfortable than his own chair. Asahi wraps his arms around him and lays his chin on top of Noya’s head. He’s had a few already, the massive mug of ale looking entirely normal in his hands. It makes him more open with his affections and even the other people, who he’s been talking to nonstop all evening. It helps that they’re all varying levels of drunk, and his endurance is higher than everyone else’s.

“Hey, ‘Sahi?” Noya murmurs tipsily.“We should dance. It would be nice I think. Yeah. Nice.” Asahi hums in confirmation.

“Dancing?” Tanaka overhears and stands up, yanking Kiyoko to her feet. “C’mon, love, we gotta! Semi’s here and everything!”

“You’ve had too much to drink,” Kiyoko protests lightly, but she follows him to the center of the tavern anyways. She speaks to Semi, hidden in the corner. He sighs and pulls his fiddle from its case after a few moments of gentle coaxing. This gets the attention of Shirabu and Goshiki, who leave to retrieve their own instruments from the safety behind the bar. The musicians settle back into their corner, Shirabu on flute and Goshiki on his horn.

“Hey, are we dancing?” Saeko comes out of the kitchen, spotting the musician. “Where the hell is Suna? Get on the damn tambourine already!” She looks around the tavern, her eyes roving from person to person until she finds the gravedigger, who she pays extra to play music when requested. “My brother’s getting married! Be more lively!” 

She puts her hands on her hips and scans the room until she finds the man she’s looking for. Tsukishima Akiteru, dutiful as ever, has been waiting for her to come out of the kitchen. She walks over to him and presses a sloppy kiss to his cheek, one that makes him blush.

With a disinterested  _ tsk _ , Suna begins a fast waltz, one that has a rapid beat. Sugawara perks up as soon as he hears it and yanks Daichi to the center of the tavern to help push tables aside, creating a wider space to dance. Asahi gently sets Noya aside to help with the tables, him and Iwaizumi moving one together while Oikawa watches with a half-lidded gaze that is entirely inappropriate for a public setting.

On the center of the floor, Tanaka begins to whirl Kiyoko around to the tempo of the music, her dark hair whipping around her face. Others begin to join the couple in a flurry of boots and skirts, dancing with careless and wild abandon. He hears Tanaka whoop from somewhere near the middle, and watches the white fabric of a shirt fly up into the air and hit the ceiling before vanishing under the feet of the crowd. He can count on one hand the amount of times he’s drunk with Tanaka and his friend hasn’t taken his shirt off.

“Do you want to dance?” He asks, walking over to Asahi, who has just finished with the last of the tables, carrying the last few by himself.

“I’ve never danced before,” Asahi says. He watches the group with curiosity, at the wild flail of limbs and shouts of laughter that rise over the music, looking mildly anxious. “I don’t think I’d be any good at it.”

“Then I’ll just be good enough for both of us! Let’s just try it.” Noya offers him a hand, one that Asahi takes hesitantly. “It’s not hard. Just move your body at first, like this. I’ll lead you.” He steps lightly, forwards and back, leading Asahi. The giant stumbles after him, but they fall into an easy rhythm in the circle of dancers, Noya waltzing delicately while Asahi follows, staring at their feet as he tries to learn the steps.

“Look at me, okay? Hold my hips like this,” He instructs, guiding one of Asahi’s large hands to his waist. “And extend your arm slightly, and grab my hand like this. There! You’ve got it.” 

The waltz is awkward, Noya having to stand on his toes and both of them having to bend their arms in different directions from the other dancers because of their height difference, but it’s all made worth it by the delight that shines on Asahi’s face as the pair moves together. Noya remembers dance lessons in this very same tavern, lessons with Ryuu as his partner while Saeko and Tanaka’s father taught them how to waltz properly.

Asahi laughs as he spins Noya, slightly delayed as he follows the movements of the other dancers. Noya whirls across the floor, speechless as he watches the smile on Asahi’s face, the strands of hair that have fallen from his bun sticking to his sweaty forehead. He spins Noya around like he weighs nothing at all, stumbling over his feet at a few points and far too aware of where his own elbows are, ducking away from the other dancers. His hands grip Noya’s waist tightly, but not unpleasantly so.

He’s gorgeous like this, the movement and speed of the dance easing his crowd-induced anxiety. Noya’s totally absorbed in him and the part of his lips, the furrow in his brow as he concentrates on the steps. Their laughter and curses as they trip over their feet are lost in the noise of creaking floorboards and the music. At one point, Kiyoko and Tanaka whirl past them, the two of them just as full of energy as they were at the beginning. Noya hardly notices them, totally enraptured by Asahi and the movements of his body. 

He trips slightly, and Asahi keeps him steady, something that makes his heart thud in his chest. Here, body moving freely, the hem of his shirt riding up to expose one of his scars, hair pulled back, he’s a far cry from the man in the woods. He was beautiful when his clothes were ill-fitting and his hair was a mess of burrs and knots, posture hunched even when he was alone. And he’s just as beautiful now, clean and smiling in clothing that actually fits.

The dance begins to die out as the first set ends. Semi goes to retrieve some drinks for the four musicians. Koganegawa begins to speak with Goshiki, likely asking him about teaching him the horn even as Goshiki tries to ignore him. Tendou takes this lull to rescue the younger boy and climb on top of one of the tables, spreading his arms wide.

“A toast and a song!” He shouts over the dancers, gesturing wildly. Some of his beer sloshes onto his shirt. “C’mon, everyone! I know you know this one!” He begins to burst into song, a familiar one Noya has heard time and time again. It seems to be a favorite among his friends.

_ “Give me but a friend and a glass, boys, _

_ I’ll show ye what it is to be gay; _

_ I’ll not care a fig for the laughs, boys, _

_ Nor love my brief youth away! _

_ Give me but an honest fellow, _

_ That’s pleasantest when he is mellow- _

_ We’ll live twenty-four hours a day!” _

Tendou sways to the song on top of the table, Ushijima watching without reacting. Beer mugs swing and clink as people drink and cheer to the song. Tanaka takes that moment to press kisses all over Kiyoko, much to her embarrassment. Noya forces Asahi to sway with him, laughing while he sings along as loud as he can. He’s still outshone by Bokuto and Kuroo, who are arm in arm while they sing.

“Get off the table!” Yaku yells from behind the bar where he’s polishing a few mugs. “If it breaks under your ass, you’re paying!”

“Loosen up, Yaku,” Kuroo says, drawing out his friend’s name. “Have some fun with the rest of us for once!”

Yaku’s wet dishrag hits him square in the face, making Bokuto cry from laughter. He slaps Kenma in the back until the bookseller snaps at him, making Bokuto pout. Tendou, despite Yaku’s warning, is still on the table, swinging his feet as he sits on the surface. The music finally starts again when Semi returns, but many of the guests leave the makeshift dance floor to resume drinking at the sides of the room. Asahi pulls Noya back to their little table, picking up his mug again.

“I’m glad we came tonight,” Asahi says, sipping his ale. Being as big as he is, the alcohol hasn’t quite hit him like it has everybody else. He’s on his fifth drink and only a little tipsy.

“Not bad for your first party, huh?” Noya snuggles up against him, burrowing his head into Asahi’s shoulder. The fabric of his shirt is soft against his cheek. He’ll have to thank Oikawa later. “They really went all out tonight. I’m really happy you’re here, Asahi.” He finds Asahi’s pinky and holds it under the table, content to stay in their little corner as the party continues.

“I wouldn’t be here without you. In this town. In this bar, with these new and wonderful people I can call my friends. I wouldn’t have any of it. Not without you,” Asahi says. “And...I’ll never be able to express my gratitude for all that you have given me.”

_ I love you,  _ Noya thinks. Normally, he’d just blurt something like that out whenever he thinks it, but words as important as these need the proper moment. They’re just about to escape his lips when a familiar redhead plops on the seat across from him. Tendou rests his chin on his hands, taking in Asahi. Asahi shrinks back slightly, but he still meets Tendou’s inquisitive stare. Tendou’s mouth curls as he sees Asahi’s muscles, the large frame of his body, and Noya would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a little on edge right then.

“Say, old buddy,” Tendou drawls to Noya. “Wanna make a bet?”

What he  _ really  _ wants to do is take Asahi up to his tiny room upstairs and show him exactly how much Noya is completely and utterly in love with him. He’s even got a small gift upstairs, one he’s saving for the morning after, bought with his repairman money. But he’s not backing down from a challenge, especially one that involves Tendou and alcohol.

“What kind?”

“Think he can beat Ushi at a game of armwrestle?” Tendou laces his fingers together. “If you win, you owe me dinner some night. And if I win, I’ll make you two dinner at the cabin at a later date. You gotta come over, though! We’ll make an evening of it.”

“I can take that bet. Food is always high-stakes,” Noya says. He looks at Asahi. Ushijima has been the reigning champion of drunken arm wrestling since they met, but with Asahi’s abnormal brute strength, he has hope of winning. “Whaddya say? You up for a game of armwrestle?”  
“I’ll do it for you,” Asahi murmurs, but the softness of his voice doesn’t match the steeliness on his face. A fire begins to start low in Noya’s belly. They are definitely putting his room to good use tonight, if Asahi allows it.

Tendou throws his head back with laughter. “Your man sure does take a meal seriously, doesn’t he? I can’t blame him. Hey! Miracle Boy! I’ve found you a challenger!”

With a rush of glee, Noya realizes that neither of them have denied the statement about their relationship, even if Asahi’s focus is broken by a blush across his cheeks. Ushijima settles down at the table, throwing one arm across Tendou’s shoulders, drawing him closer in a way that makes Tendou wriggle with delight. The farmer has never been a particularly touchy man, but Noya knows from experience that when he has a few drinks, he gets particularly touchy and open with his affections, so unlike his usual stiffness. There have been times that he’s picked Noya up when drunk and held him high in the air for a few minutes, just to “show that he can.”

“You look like an actual challenge,” Ushijima rumbles. “Good.” He places his elbow on the table. Asahi follows, the two locking their hands together. Even the monster of a man that is Ushijima looks small compared to Asahi. Tendou counts them off, and Ushijima immediately grips his hand, struggling to shift it to the table. The stony look on Asahi’s face is back, and he’s completely and utterly focused on the competitor in front of him.

As Ushijima struggles in front of him, Asahi starts lowering his arm to the table, about to emerge victorious without breaking a sweat. The olive-haired man growls low in his throat and strains, the muscles of his bicep bulging through his shirtsleeves. Tendou watches with overexaggerated surprise, and Noya can feel a smirk spreading on his face. Asahi pins Ushijima’s arm to the surface of the table. There’s a bated breath as the seconds pass. Ushijima stares Asahi down.

“Oh my god,” Tendou says, breaking the silence. “You  _ lost. _ ”

“You are an opponent both worthy and formidable,” Ushijima says, letting go of Asahi’s hand. He cracks his knuckles with a loud pop and rolls out his shoulders. “I will look forward to a rematch. But for now, take this title and use it well.”

“Oh! I um...thank you?” Asahi stammers out, bewildered. Noya finds his hand again.

“We’ll see you at dinner,” he says to Tendou.

“I’ll be looking forward to it!” Tendou slaps Noya in the back and pokes Asahi in the cheek by way of farewell. “C’mon, Miracle Boy. Let’s go get you another drink!” He pulls Ushijima to his feet, the bigger man wobbling slightly, and waves goodbye as they return to the bar before Yaku cuts off their supply, something the bartender is prone to do.

“Tendou isn’t gonna remember half of tonight. He’ll drink till he blacks out. But if I remind him, we’ll still get a free meal. He’s a great cook.” Noya says, cuddling into Asahi’s arms. “Makes good hot chocolate.”

Asahi leans down and kisses Noya’s brow. His lips are cold, contrasting with the warmth of Noya’s body, hot from the dancing and the surge of the crowd. Noya cuddles closer, trying to get his body to cool down. Asahi, emboldened by the alcohol, even puts an arm around his waist, squeezing Noya in closer. Like this, he can hear the reassuring  _ thump-thump _ of Asahi’s heartbeat, the firmness of his muscles through the fabric of his shirt, the strong curl of his forearm around his waist. He gets a completely new rush of warmth, hoping to conceal it by curling deeper into Asahi. He’s felt like this all night, but now that there’s no distractions and it’s just the two of them, it’s even worse.

The party still isn’t close to dying, but some of the guests have begun to trickle out. Tanaka, the man of the hour, is slumped on a nearby table, drooling slightly. His brothers are still dancing, a little unsteady in their steps. If Noya wants to take Asahi up to his room unnoticed, now is the time to do it.

"Mind if we call it a night?” He asks huskily, trying to be subtle. If Suga comes over and gets wind of what Noya wants to do, he'll be a mess of poorly placed winks and terrible innuendos. He'll probably wind up spilling a drink on Asahi's pants and the tension that has been building all day will be gone in a flash. Noya would know. It's happened before.

“I didn’t think you were tired,” Asahi replies with a gentle smile. Noya lifts his face from Asahi’s chest and raises his eyebrows, laughing slightly. God, he’s so in love with this man.

“Sleeping wasn’t what I had in mind.” He brushes his fingers against a spot on the curve of Asahi’s thigh.

“Oh.  _ Oh.”  _ Asahi’s face practically turns crimson as both the realization and Noya’s touch sink into him.

“We don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” he reassures him. A no is a no.

“No, no! I definitely want to.” Asahi’s hand presses against Noya’s lower back. “Just let me know if I hurt you, or-”

“You’ll never hurt me,” Noya says. They stand, Noya guiding him to the stairs that lead up to the rooms upstairs. His tiny room is at the end of the hallway. It's barely more than a closet, but it has a window, which is more than some people can say of their rooms. The space is mostly occupied by a bed and a tiny bedside table. He unlocks the door and places the key back in his pocket, a small quiver forming in his hands, one that he desperately wants to go away. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t the tiniest bit nervous.

Before he opens the door, he turns to face Asahi. “We can stop any time you want to.” He looks down at him, and for the first time in a while, he’s aware of how big Asahi is compared to him, looming over him like this. How broad his chest is, how big his arms and legs are. He swallows.

“I won’t want to stop,” Asahi whispers heavily, one of his hands tangling in Noya’s hair. Noya moves closer to him as an invitation, the miniscule distance between them closing faster and faster.

He picks him up tenderly, burying his face into Noya’s neck. Noya loosely loops his arms over his shoulders, wrapping his legs around his torso for support. Asahi’s stubble scratches against soft, pale skin as he kisses him gently, low and deep in a way that makes Noya groan far louder than he meant to. He fumbles at the door knob behind him, hearing it open with a small click. 

Asahi stumbles inside, Noya slamming the door shut behind them. The room is so small that Noya’s back hits the wall after Asahi takes a few hungry, uneven steps, still sucking at that spot on Noya’s neck. He squeezes his legs tighter around Asahi’s waist as he continues to push him into the wall, fingers tugging at his hair. Noya throws his head back and Asahi continues a path up his neck, pressing kisses to his jaw and his chin and his cheeks. His hands continue to rove lower and lower down Noya’s back until his hands are squeezing at his ass, grabbing at the muscles there.

_ “Yuu,” _ Asahi says. He’ll never get over the way he says his name, so full of love and desire. He says it like he hasn’t seen him for a thousand years, two lovers reunited at last. For that, Noya kisses him, starving and desperate for the man before him. The way he says his name is so breathy and soft, so close to a moan. Noya can’t get enough of him. He tastes like cider and ale on Noya’s tongue, and he deepens the kiss between them.

“Asahi,” he murmurs, his tongue parting Asahi’s lips. His back presses further into the wall until he can feel the uneven boards, and he doesn’t care. Not with Asahi right here, the taste of him in Noya’s mouth.

“I love you,” he breathes. “I love you.” Now that it’s out of his mouth, he never wants to stop saying it. He wants to say it every hour of every day for the rest of his life, as much as he can. And he wants to say it to Asahi and Asahi alone.   
“W-What?” Asahi pulls away. His pupils are large and dark, standing out in those bright yellow eyes. He’s breathing heavily already. Noya can feel his chest rising and falling rapidly, the remaining slick of sweat from the dance on his skin. He can even feel the press of an erection against the underside of his thigh. He’s feeling the exact same way right now, hot and aching from the stimulation.

“I love you.” He stares deep into his eyes. “And I know I do, because you feel like home when I’m with you.”

“You love me?” He watches as tears begin to well and then drip down Asahi’s cheeks. He kisses them away one by one with all the tenderness he can, then pulls away and cups his face in his hand. 

“Yeah. I really, really do.”

“I thought I’d...never hear that from anyone. I thought I was incapable of being loved. I used to dream of hearing those words from someone, and I accepted that it would never happen.” Noya strokes his hair with his free hand, listening as Asahi bares his soul to him. Who would he have been if anyone had just taken the time to listen?

“I was made to be unloved.” He turns his face deeper into Noya’s palm, the barest hint of shame leaking into his voice. “But then you were there, that day in the woods, and after all of this, I...I know now that I love you too. You are strong and stubborn and wonderful and I- I am in love with every single part of you.” Asahi chokes out these last few words, tears wetting Noya’s palm as his voice breaks. The person he once thought of as a creature is now a just a man. A man who loves and feels, a man who struggles with baring his soul after years of hiding. Yet despite that fear, he does it anyway. 

And because of that, Noya knows without a doubt that Azumane Asahi is the bravest person he's ever known. 

“Let me show you how much I love you. How long I’ve been waiting to tell you,” Noya says, and kisses him again. 

They move away to the wall as they kiss, Asahi carrying Noya to the bed. He sits down and Noya straddles his hips without breaking contact between their mouths, grinding up against him. Asahi moans in delight as Noya begins to unbutton Asahi’s shirt with quick fingers, sliding it off his cool skin. 

He runs his fingers along the many scars present along the surface, taking in the strangely beautiful sight of them before pushing Asahi down until his back is against the mattress. Noya entwines their fingers, moving from Asahi’s mouth to his neck to his chest, where he gently bites at Asahi’s nipple. The larger man bucks beneath him, the desperate friction making Noya groan. 

He slides his shirt over his head, pressing against Asahi so that their bare skin meets. Asahi moans at the contact, a low sound that makes Noya even more warm and lightheaded. Asahi pries his hands free from Noya’s and grabs the bare skin of his back, nails scraping along the muscles as he writhes in pleasure, hips snapping upwards and hitting the bottom of Noya’s ass.

“May I?” Asahi asks, fumbling with the buckle of Noya’s pants. He nods, mouth suddenly dry. He shifts slightly so that his partner can easily slide it off of him. Noya takes the clothing and tosses it to the floor. The only thing separating the two of them is his underwear, the front of the fabric already wet. 

Asahi gently tugs that off too, so that Noya is entirely exposed before him. Asahi drinks in every detail of his body hungrily, and then he presses a kiss to the inside of Noya’s thigh. They’ve gotten to this point, but no further. He presses feather-light kisses to the soft skin, his calloused fingertips dragging along Noya’s back. Noya grips at the blankets around him.

“I am so lucky,” Asahi says in between kisses, breath hot against his skin. He licks a gentle stripe on the sweaty skin, each stroke of his tongue getting closer to nearing the apex of his thighs. Noya twitches above him.

Before Asahi’s lips make contact and they get completely lost in one another, he gets an idea and climbs off of his lover, shifting to another side of bed. He then guides Asahi on top of him, their bodies perfectly aligned. Asahi’s loose hairs tickle Noya’s nose. His head is pressed into the pillow by the top of the headboard. Their breathing is both raspy, lips starting to swell from their kisses. His hands are unoccupied as they rest on Asahi’s back, and he takes the opportunity to slide off Asahi’s pants. Asahi tosses the pants onto the floor and removes his briefs, both articles joining the rest of their clothing.

“You are perfect, Azumane Asahi.” Noya nuzzles their noses together, making Asahi laugh slightly. “And I’m happy you were made, because I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

Asahi answers him with another kiss, and they don’t speak any more. There’s no need to. They’ve said what they needed to, and what they need to proclaim now cannot be expressed with words alone.

So under the gentle curtain of night, they love each other, knowing now that they have all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was such a joy to write, I hope there's not too much going on. I also changed the rating of this fic to mature just to be safe! Also, a major shoutout to my beta readers for being the best people ever. I love you all! :')
> 
> If you're curious, the song Noya and Asahi danced to is a real waltz. If you want to get the feel of the dance, the piece is Apousies by Stamatis Spanoudakis. This isn't historically accurate, as it is a contemporary waltz, but then again, I haven't been very strict with historical accuracies when writing this story.
> 
> A note: the song Tendou sings is the first verse of a real drinking song that dates back to the Revolutionary War period. I did take some liberties modernizing the spelling of the words so that they would become easier to read.
> 
> twitter @wormfanatic
> 
> tumblr @worm-fanatic


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW in this chapter for violence and homophobic language!

He awakes to Asahi holding him, arms drawing Noya in under the sheets. The sun is just starting to come up, warm light filtering through the window. Noya blinks his eyes open, rolling over to face him. He’s always cold, but under the blankets, it’s not as bad, so Noya cuddles closer, nestling his head between Asahi’s collarbones. The brown hair spilling out over the pillow tickles his nose, and he tries not to sneeze as not to wake the man. In his sleep, Asahi is relaxed, the near constant furrow in his brow gone. He’s content to sleep at Noya’s side, and it shows in the curve of his body and the softness of his face, the small, even puffs of his nostrils as he sleeps.

He could stay like this forever, in this boxy room that holds only the two of them, watching this man sleep and hearing the sound of his tiny snores. Wanting to rest feels strange to him, when he tries his best to rush through life nonstop without a plan.

Noya has never been used to staying still. He’d prefer to constantly be moving, hopping from day to day without a care in the world. And that was what he used to do. Every day of every week, year after year, until it all ran together. It wasn't unpleasant, and that kind of life is fine for people like Daichi and Suga. It's just not the kind of life he wants.

That doesn’t mean he’s not grateful for his second chance given to him by Takeda. If not for the teacher, he’d likely be dead in an alley of an opium overdose with rats gnawing at his toes. But despite that opportunity and the life he’s worked for, he’s still bored sometimes.

The stillness is the thing that kills him. The same buildings, the same town, the same strangers’ faces. Every day a variation of the same routine. He’d be lying if he said some days he didn’t feel like an animal pacing around in a cage, constantly moving with nowhere to go. The stagnation of his life is slowly killing him.

But with Asahi, he wants the moments he once dreaded to drag on and on forever. He wants to stay tucked into this tiny pocket of time where nothing changes, where they don’t have to go and get ready for work in a few hours. He wants to stay just like this, in their little room lying in an even tinier bed. He used to think the world was too big to stay in one place all the time. But he’s fine standing still if Asahi is there.

Normally, he tries not to be afraid of anything. But this love, this strange and beautiful new thing he has with Asahi- he’s scared. Scared of how intensely he can feel for one person, afraid of how much he can love. He thought of himself as someone good for nothing more than a quick grope behind a barn, someone who would get married because it was what was expected instead of what he wanted. Someone who would fade away over time as they tried to be content with their life, because where else in the world would they have to go?

So he decides, lying beside Asahi, that he’s going to relish every part of that fear. Because as long as he moves past that and keeps overcoming it, he can say he’s alive. Asahi allows him to fly in a way he never thought possible. And he wants that to come across in the gift he has tucked under the nightstand, that he treasures the fright that goes hand-in-hand with falling in love.

The man in question stirs beside him, eyes blinking open. Noya shifts slightly to kiss his brow. Yellow eyes blink away the crust of sleep. Asahi lets out a low sound, somewhere a yawn and a contented sigh.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Noya says. Now that he’s not in danger of waking him, he latches onto him like a leech, grinning impishly.

“How are you this active already?” Asahi asks blearily. He's known from the nights before, when they did nothing more than sleep. Asahi is not a morning person.

“I’ve got lots of stamina.” He raises a brow, grin spreading wider. “But now  _ you  _ know that, after last night.”

In lieu of a response, Asahi makes a garbled choking noise that’s impossible to decipher. Noya laughs and curls their legs together. Their skin is still bare after last night, clothes remaining on the floor, unmoved from where they were originally discarded. Asahi still feels like laying against a stone floor, but Noya could care less. He wouldn’t want this any other way. So what if Asahi isn’t warm and soft like other people are? He loves Asahi for him and nothing else.

“I love you,” he says. “And I know I said it last night, but I’m saying it again because you deserve to hear it for the rest of your life.”

At this, Asahi pales suddenly, black lips drawing into a line. The furrow in his brow is back, even more worried than usual. “Noya, I need to say something.”

“Yeah?” His heart drops into his stomach, because that  _ look _ on Asahi’s face is back. The one that means he’s thinking something he can’t help again.

“I love you so much. And you’ve taught me that I  _ deserve  _ love, just as much as any other man, despite my past and my appearance.” He breathes rapidly as Noya hugs him, clearly beginning to panic about something. “But the problem is- I don’t know if I can die.”

That makes him pull away. That was nothing like he’d been expecting. “What?” 

“I-I mean, I can die. Eventually, if I’m beaten hard enough or set on fire or-” A few seconds pass as Asahi gathers his thoughts, chest rising and falling as he tries not to panic. Noya massages his back. “B-but what I’m saying is I don’t know if I’ll grow old like you. I don't even know if my body can age. And I don’t want to have to watch you die, and maybe it’s selfish, but I also d-don’t want to be alone again. So I don’t know what to do.”

Noya waits a minute, letting Asahi settle back into his own body. He doesn't speak or move while Asahi attempts to compose himself. He's there, and that seems to be enough for his lover.

“Do you wanna know what Daichi told me once, when we were little? I was hungry and tired, and normally I tried to stay optimistic on the streets, but things weren’t going well. It was probably one of the lowest points in my life. And so I had a bit of a breakdown. Suga wasn’t there to help. He was out begging for food. But Daichi told me something that his mom used to tell him before she died.” Noya takes a deep breath. “Don’t start thinking about tomorrow when the sun hasn’t set on today. That was what he told me. And we managed to find some scraps the next day, and things wound up okay.” 

He breathes in Asahi’s scent of spice and earth, surrounding himself in the man he loves. “So I’m saying that we’re gonna try to take this one day at a time, yeah? Even your dad hardly knew what you were, and he made you the way he wanted. No one understands how you work, and that's okay. That's why I said to take it one day at a time. I’ve got you. I promise.”

“How are you so brave all the time?”

“‘Sahi, not gonna lie, not five minutes ago I was thinking about how scared out of my fucking mind I was.” He laughs.

“Why were you afraid, my love?” Asahi says it with such tenderness and adoration as he buries his face in Noya’s hair. Noya’s face is squished against Asahi’s bare chest, so much so that he can barely breathe. He decides if this is how he’s going to die, suffocation by Asahi’s pectorals is one of the greatest options God could’ve chosen.

“Because I love you like I’ve never loved before,” Noya says, voice muffled. “I think that’s enough to make anyone feel like shitting themselves.”

“Oh,” Asahi murmurs. “Well, if we’re both scared, we’ve got each other.” He tilts Noya’s chin up, eyes wide and dark, expression set with grim determination. “And I don’t think I mind being afraid if it’s with you.”

Noya takes that moment to kiss him, and any thoughts about the gift or getting out of bed at a decent hour are abandoned entirely as Asahi pulls Noya on top of him and begins to kiss him.

“Can I show you something?” Noya asks in between kisses, whispering the words into Asahi’s ear. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“You give me far too much.”

“Yeah, because I want to, you big dummy.” He sits up, straddling Asahi’s hips. He can’t quite reach the nightstand from this position, so with a fair amount of reluctance, he separates himself from Asahi and bends down to get the gift. In the darkness of the room and the activity between them, it was left unnoticed last night. He hands it to him.

Asahi turns the gift over in his hands. It’s a small wooden box, covered with tiny carved birds and intricate lightning bolts, as if the birds are flying in a storm. The dark brown wood is polished and lovely, the intricate engravings on the box making it a true work of art.

“I got it because of the crows,” Noya said. “Those ones in the grove we loved. You laughed at the names I gave them, and I thought that sound was the most wonderful thing I had ever heard.” He traces the outline of one of the carvings, studying it. “And the lightning is for me. It might be kind of stupid, but you make me feel like I’m in the best storm ever. I feel like lightning when I’m with you. Like I can do anything or like I can fly.”

“I love it,” Asahi says, running his hands over one of the tiny crows. “Did you make this?”  
“No, I had to pay Atsumu. He does good work.” Noya gestures at the box. “Now open it! There’s more inside!”

He slowly lifts the lid, his eyes widening when he sees the contents. Since the interior is facing away from Noya, he can’t see what’s inside from this angle, but he knows it anyway. He put it together.

The inside walls are lined with orange velvet gifted from Oikawa, the color Asahi said he wanted to see him in. And placed carefully into the box are the gifts Asahi left for him as a reminder when he was away. The rocks and feathers, the dried flowers, the crumpled bouquet Asahi brought with him when they reunited at last.

Those were the things that made Noya realize he was in love, and he wants to immortalize them for the both of them. Asahi picks up the river rock, the thing he said reminded him of Noya’s eyes, the object Noya found himself touching whenever he started missing Asahi, whether he realized it or not.

“You kept them?” Asahi asks. “All of them?”

“The ones I could, yeah. I love them, because they’re from you. Because with them, I knew you were still close. That I had a tiny chance of seeing you again someday. So I kept every single one.” He scoots closer, forcing Asahi to move slightly so he can lay beside him, one arm draped over his chest.

“If there was ever a reason for me to be alive, I think it was so that I could love you.” Asahi gently cuddles him, clearly still a little worried about hurting him. “I don’t know if there’s such a thing as gods or an afterlife or any of that. Even if technically I’ve already been there. But I think I’d relive the life I had a thousand times over if it brought me to you in the end.”

And with that said, they lie in comfortable silence until the sun finishes rising.

* * *

He leaves Asahi at the tavern to go get pork buns. Both of them are starving from last night, and he wants to have breakfast with him before they both go their separate ways to work. Most of the townspeople are still asleep, but those who have to go work the farms or the mill are already up, meandering to their destination. It makes the morning wonderfully sleepy, even as a few chickens roam freely in the streets, pecking at the ground for grain.

He whistles absentmindedly to himself, another drinking song he likes to sing. It’s far too quiet for his liking, silence hanging thickly in the air. He knows the road to the bakery by heart, but he takes a shortcut, cutting through one of the alleys he knows to get there faster. Noya wants to get back to Asahi as soon as possible, to spend as much time with him before they have to part ways.

Three men block the pathway to the bakery, leaning against the walls and smoking. They’re all much taller than him. He recognizes one of them from the market, one that laughed when Asahi was called a freak.

_ Well, shit. _ Hopefully they don’t know about what he did last night. Otherwise, this meeting will not bode well. But he has a feeling that even if he turns around and takes the long way to the bakery, they’ll follow him.

He lifts his chin, puffs out his chest, and walks forward, brushing past them. One of them grabs his arm with so much force that nails dig into the flesh of his arm. Noya attempts to hide his wince, reeling at the unexpected pain. But they’ve seen it already, and press in around him. He’s entirely surrounded. Even with his small stature, he can’t fit through the gaps between them.

“What’s the problem?” He asks, keeping a carefree smile on his face. “I wouldn’t mind being let go.” If problems arise, he can take three. He can do it, even with the height difference. And if he can’t, he’ll go down swinging, and that’s what matters. His instincts from the streets return, when he was a boy fighting four against one for a few stale scraps of bread.

“You mean you don’t know?” One of them asks, leering down at him. “You beat our buddy half to death last night, shorty. And now that your monster isn’t here to protect you, you’ve got to pay. Shame that the ugly bastard doesn’t follow you everywhere.” He spits on Noya’s face, the slimy liquid dripping down his skin. He feels another arm grab him before he can launch himself at the man, pinning his arms behind his back. Blind rage flickers across his vision.

“Leave him out of this,” Noya growls, baring his teeth. “Don’t  _ touch _ him.”

“Aw, lover boy worried about his man?” This comes from the man holding him back. Even facing away from him, he can hear the smirk in his voice. Noya starts to shake with anger. “You little faggot. The creep probably only likes you because you look like a kid-”

He can handle insults towards himself, even bear them with a smile. But Asahi is off-limits, no matter who it is.

Noya slams his head back into the man’s nose, feeling the cartilage crunch under his skull. The man howls in pain, shattering the silence and likely drawing attention from the nearby homes, but Noya doesn’t care. He jabs one of his elbows into the man’s stomach, forcing him to let go. The one that first insulted him goes in for a punch, but Noya ducks. The man swings at empty air.

“Don’t ever talk about him like that,” Noya snarls, bringing his fists up to protect himself. The two still standing flank either side of him. He tries to knee the man on the right in the groin as they get closer, trying to restrain him. He just barely misses, and his chance is gone. The man lands a blow to his face, Noya’s cheek stinging the impact. While he’s still reeling from the impact, the other one jabs at his side. He jumps away, stumbling slightly.

They hit his left eye, and the flesh around it is already starting to swell. Thankfully, the one whose nose he broke is still on the ground, holding his hand to his face to staunch the bleeding. Noya sees a clear pathway and decides to bolt in the direction of the bakery. The one dives in front of him, and Noya skids to a halt when he sees the glint of metal in his hand. He looks every direction he can, but he’s blocked out of the alley, surrounded by the thugs. He has nowhere to run, and he’d rather not risk trying to flee and then gutting himself on a blade.

“Fuckin’ bastard, don’t make me use this.” Restrained and blocked in by the walls of the alley, he’s got nowhere to hide as they continue to beat him, kicking at his legs and groin, landing blows to his chest and face. His lip’s split, blood running into his mouth, and he spits out a gob of blood and salvia. One of the teeth in his lower jaw is definitely cracked. But still he doesn’t tumble to the dirt, refusing to give up even as the blows keep coming.

The biggest one hooks his arms under Noya’s and lifts him a few inches on the ground, even as he kicks and struggles. One of them rears his fist back and slams it into Noya’s jaw, so hard that stars swim in his vision.

That’s the final straw. He will not sit here in the arms of a cutthroat and let himself be beaten to death. He sinks his teeth into the arm of the man holding him, biting until the man’s blood fills his mouth. The thug cries out in pain. He’s dropped then, cracking his head against the ground from the force of the fall, the man he bit screaming that he’ll kill him over and over again. It takes him a second to recuperate, and by the time he scrambles to his feet, preparing to run, the knife stabs into his gut. He doesn’t feel it, not when he’s running on pure adrenaline, but he notices because of the trickle of blood that comes from his skin.

He chokes back a gasp as the agony finally crashes into him, piercing into his body. Noya looks into the cold, hard eyes of his attacker. The man pulls out the blade, and Noya instinctively grabs at his side as if he can keep the blood from spilling out. He stumbles backwards as scarlet soaks into the white fabric of his shirt, and he falls down again, curling around the wound. Everything seems hazy and echoey. The morning light burns and his ears seem to be ringing.

They begin to kick at him, each jab into his belly aimed for the cut in his abdomen. They’re relentless, and tears sting at his eyes, but Noya wills himself to stay conscious. The pain in his stomach burns, and blood leaks between his fingers. In the streets, he was small and nimble enough to dodge a knife. But they’re so much  _ larger  _ than him, and there’s only one of him. If he had Daichi and Suga like he did in the past, he wouldn’t have gotten stabbed, because they’re smarter than him. He wouldn’t be bleeding out onto the dirt.

He thinks of Asahi then, safe at the tavern in the too-small bed, likely catching a few more licks of sleep before Noya returns. He can picture the sheets tangled around him, the box full of his gifts carefully placed on the nightstand beside him where he can look at it whenever he wants to.

One of the kicks finally lands in his wound and he screams, painful and raw in a way he’s never heard. They keep kicking at him, and this time, he feels like he’s going to die, hopeless in a way he hasn’t felt before. His vision is hazy as he gets closer and closer to losing consciousness. If he does pass out, Noya doesn’t know if he’ll wake up.

“Get away from him,” he hears someone say, rumbling and rasping and absolutely terrifying. He tilts his head up, and through the blurriness threatening to overtake his eyesight, he sees Asahi standing in front of the alley, blocking the street. “Or I will rip your throats out with my own hands.”

His lover looks like hell incarnate, his dark hair falling around his shoulders and a glare in his yellow eyes that is just like the one he had in the barn that day. His stance is wide, hands gripped into fists, too-white teeth bared in an animalistic snarl. His black lips are pulled back from his gums, distorting the scars on his face. His shirtsleeves are rolled up, exposing even more of the scars he normally tries so hard to hide.

It is the first time Noya thinks that Asahi looks like a monster, and not because of the scars. It’s because of the tone of his voice and the language of his body, one that threatens murder if a wrong move if made. Gone is the man he shared a bed with less than an hour ago, the man who covers him with gentle kisses. In his place is a monster of a creature, a dark fallen angel crawling up from the pits of hell. In this moment, he is something to be afraid of.

The man with the knife braces himself and then runs at him, stabbing the knife into Asahi’s chest. He has to stretch his arm to reach what looks to be his heart, but he aims where Noya knows is slightly below, his arms not quite long enough to dig directly into his heart. The man pauses, stepping back as Asahi hardly reacts to the pain. Instead, he only tilts his head, the snarl on his face only widening at the blade digging into his flesh.

With the knife still sticking out, Asahi growls in annoyance and picks the man up by the collar before slamming him into the wall, holding him by the throat with one arm. With his free hand, he then rips the knife from his chest and throws it onto the ground. The metal skids across the dirt. The man he has pinned to the wall gasps for breath as his face begins to turn purple, his eyes roving downward to see the cut he inflicted.

Asahi isn’t bleeding like Noya. There’s only a hole in his chest, that strange burgundy liquid dripping out of the wound. The other two men step away slowly, leaving Noya on the ground.

“Devil,” one of them whispers frantically, backing up as far as he can before he turns to flee. They leave their friend struggling for air as Asahi squeezes at his windpipe.

“Don’t  _ ever _ get near him again.” Asahi drops the man like a sack of potatoes, throwing him onto the ground like he weighs nothing at all. “If you do, I swear I will kill you.”

The man scrapes himself off the earth and follows his friends, using the wall for support as he tries his best to escape.

As soon as he’s rounded the corner, Asahi kneels down beside Noya and carefully picks him up. Just like that, the man he loves has returned, carrying him like he could break at any second. He cradles Noya’s head so it doesn’t hang limply, hooking Noya’s knees under his forearm.

“Asahi…” Noya manages to say. He’s fading fast. “That was-badass…”

“Oh, god. Oh, god. There’s so much blood-” Asahi’s eyes fill with tears. “Ennoshita. Where’s Ennoshita’s building?”

“Sorry-I lost-”

“Yuu, I don’t care about that. Just  _ tell me where Ennoshita is!” _ His voice cracks. But Noya can’t say anything more. Against his will, his eyes are closing. Asahi is running with Noya in his arms and it’s all going dark, and tears are dripping onto his bloody face and-

* * *

He’s gone.

He wakes. Everything hurts. But he’s alive.

Noya props himself up using his elbow, wincing as his wound stretches itself. His shirt has been removed, replaced by one that’s way too large and smells like Suga’s favorite soap. He looks around, seeing clay jars on the walls, carefully labelled. The walls are a familiar and welcoming green, and he’s on a table. Someone has covered him with a blanket. He knows exactly where this is.

The apothecary’s back room, where they store their ingredients and tools. He remembers Asahi yelling at him to tell him where Ennoshita’s building was, but he likely passed out before he could say it. That means Asahi brought him to the one place where he knew he would get medical attention, and based on the shirt, Suga knows what happened and got Ennoshita. He prods gently at the wound. It’s not open and his flaps of flesh neatly sewn together, meaning that it’s likely both Sakusa and Ennoshita have been here and attempted to stitch him back together. Based on the fact that he’s alive, Noya would say it worked.

He hears muffled voices from the door leading to the main room. Grimacing as he makes his way off the table, he stands proudly on two legs, wobbling slightly. It doesn’t last long as his knees buckle under him, and he falls despite the fact that he’s still clinging tightly to the edge of the table. The talking ceases as footsteps rush to the room. Ennoshita is the first through the door, followed by Suga. Sakusa lingers behind the two of them.

And Asahi is nowhere to be seen.

“Are you alright?” Ennoshita asks as he helps Noya back onto the table, slowly and gently.

“You tell me, doc. Where’s-” His voice falters. “Where’s Asahi?” He tries to stand. “Is he okay? They-they saw-”

“Wait a moment,” Sakusa says. “You lost a lot of blood. You shouldn’t be moving at all right now.”

“You almost  _ died, _ Noya.” Ennoshita wraps the blanket around his shoulders. “When I got here, I thought you were gone already.”

“I have to go-”

“Think of yourself for once!” His friend shouts. “What part of ‘we almost lost you’ do you not understand?”  
“I don’t _care!_ I need to know if he’s okay!”

“He’s fine, Noya!” Suga yells, face turning red from anger as he raises his voice for the first time in a long time. “Pull yourself together. You almost died. I had to watch Asahi carry my little brother into my shop, unconscious and covered in blood. I thought you were  _ dead. _ We all did! So I want you to think. If I’m here and you’re here, then Asahi is perfectly fine! You think I’d just abandon him to those  _ assholes _ , especially now that they know?”

Silence. Suga’s breathing heavily, Noya left entirely speechless. 

“I’m sorry,” his brother says at last. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I’d be the same way if Daichi got hurt. But… we’ve been worried sick about you.”

Noya’s eardrums are ringing as he processes Suga’s words. He’s still stuck on two words Suga said.

“What do you mean by  _ they know _ ?” He asks quietly, looking at his brother. He tastes bile on his tongue. Suga swallows and looks him dead in the eye.

“Noya...they know he isn't human."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave you all on a cliffhanger like that! I've been very busy with life but I'll try to have 14 out soon. Much love for all of you, and I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Follow me on twitter @wormfanatic and tumble @worm-fanatic


	14. Chapter 14

The words echo in his head over and over again.  _ They know he isn’t human. _ They’re wrong about that. Asahi is more human than any of them, but they’re too blind to see it. With every step, every second, he hears them.  _ They know he isn’t human. _

Suga fills him in on the way back to the house, where Daichi and Asahi are waiting. After Asahi delivered Noya to the apothecary, half-dead, he fled as soon as Kiyoko fixed up his wound. People in the town were already calling for Asahi’s head, for the slaying of the monster that snuck into the midst of their everyday lives. The men who beat Noya accused him of being a demon and attempting to kill them, apparently claiming that Noya was a coconspirator. They told anyone they could find that he didn’t bleed, that when he smiled his teeth were points, that at one point his hands grew claws. All of it, of course, is a lie. Another way for them to strike at Noya again.

Tanaka was told everything by Kiyoko, and now he jogs back to the house with them, carrying Noya on his back and adding the occasional comment. Apparently, a group of men came into the tavern and asked Michimiya for the gun Saeko keeps behind the bar, claiming it was for self-defense. The ferocious combined efforts of Saeko and Osamu was the only thing that forced them to leave. The townspeople are out for blood.

He’s dizzy from the blood loss, but what they’re saying still sinks into him and fills him with pure, unadulterated fear. Things are bad. As they left, forcing Noya to walk so he looked normal and uninjured, people were rushing around the town for guns, torches, and pitchforks-anything they could get their hands on. Some mentioned Noya, calling him horrible names that make even him flinch, accusing him of being aligned with demons and shouting for his head along with Asahi’s. 

His friends covered the distinctive blond streak of his hair with a random hat taken from Sakusa, and thankfully, the hat was enough for him to blend in with the rest of the chaos. For once, he’s thankful for his small and inconspicuous height. This is like nothing he’s ever seen. Some are calm and uninterested, calling it out as a lie, while others gather knives and walk in groups as if expecting to see the monster. Once outside of the town limits, Tanaka slings Noya over his shoulders and breaks into a run, getting him out of there as fast as he can.

The plan is that as soon as they get back, Noya and Asahi will take their bags and flee to Ushijima’s, where they’ll stay in his hayloft until the mob subsides. Ushijima is intimidating enough that not even an angry mob will set foot onto his property. In the meantime, Daichi is with Asahi on lookout, prepared to protect the newest member of their ragtag family at any cost.

If the plan to stay in the hayloft backfires, then there’s another reason for the bags. They’ll head to the safety of the woods and lay low. Suga will do his best to sneak Ennoshita into the forest to check on their wounds for the time being. If they’re somehow found out, they’ll have to flee somewhere else, eking out a life in the forest as best they can. It’ll be difficult, especially the wounds between the two of them. But they’ll do what they have to.

Everyone is prepared to lose everything for Asahi; everything they’ve created and built over the years. Through their own blood and sweat, Daichi and Suga have made a home for Noya, one he opened to Asahi. And despite everything, he wouldn’t change his actions, because he loves Asahi. Love makes him stupid, but it’s worth it to have that warm feeling in his chest, to wake up in Asahi’s arms another day.

“Did he try to leave by himself?” He asks quietly as Tanaka’s boots slap against the dirt of the road. If not for the anxiety threatening to tear him open, he’d probably pass out again. At this point, he’s conscious from sheer force of will. Suga chuckles, brown eyes shifting towards him nervously.

“I told him if he left without you, I’d never forgive him,” his brother replies between breaths. “Except I didn’t quite say that. I was a lot more...aggressive.”

“Like when you broke the plates that one time,” Tanaka adds cheerfully, clearly trying to lighten the mood. Against his friend’s shoulder, Noya groans, remembering that particular incident.

“You were that mean to him?”

“What? I did what I had to do. He’s one of those people that tries to do the right, valiant thing for love. You think I don’t know? Daichi’s the same way. Neither of them ever want to be selfish, it seems.” Suga seems almost bitter when he says that. “And I told him he needed to be selfish and think of himself instead of you. He deserves it, after everything he’s been through. The four of us, we’re not that different when you get down to it. We’ve all been abandoned at one point or another. What separates us is what came after.”

Unlike Daichi, who went from street gang to street gang before he met Suga, Suga himself was entirely alone for six months. He was abandoned by any relatives who remained, cast out into the city streets in a summer where the plague was raging and bodies littered the alleys. It was Suga, handsome underneath all the dirt and grimed of an urchin, that endured the grabbing hands of men far older and more powerful than him. Men who knew that someone could do anything to a streetboy without consequence. Noya knows that because of those six months, he considered himself selfish and horrible for elevating his own survival above others, for doing the things he had to do. He kept himself isolated from the gangs and the other children, because who would want someone as horrible as him?

It wasn’t until he found Daichi, lying half-dead from his beating by the law, that he let himself feel.

And still, even after all of that pain and another six months with Daichi, he gave up everything for Noya. What little he had left, even the most miniscule scraps of his dignity. According to him, his time for putting himself before others had passed, and he practically threw himself into protecting the two of them. It took Daichi years to ease him away from that, telling him that he wasn’t inferior, that it was okay to put himself ahead of their little family. Sugawara Koushi was allowed to be selfish again, because he had something to protect.

“You told him that?” Noya says, a little bit dumbfounded. Suga presses his lips into a line, brow furrowing.

“Of course I did. Why give a shit about doing the right thing when the world’s thrown everything it has at you? The time for giving is afterward. Love makes you stupid like that. You think you’re doing a good thing, but leaving only hurts the people you want to protect.” He sighs, gesturing at Tanaka to pick up the pace a little more. “I think of all people, Asahi’s allowed to be selfish. And like hell I was letting him leave just for you to chase after him again, you numbskull.”

“I just got stabbed and you’re still being mean to me,” Noya whines, trying to hide the effect Suga’s words have had on him. He knows from experience how fiercely Suga loves. And him telling that to Asahi is proof of how much he loves the both of them, because in the end, leaving will hurt more than staying. Suga knows that.

“Him being mean is keeping you awake,” Tanaka points out. Noya uses what little strength he has to punch his best friend in the back. “Ow!”  
“You’re not supposed to be the one who makes sense,” he says, and Tanaka throws his head back with laughter. For a moment, Noya can pretend it’s all going to be okay. With the sky above them coated in shades of pale pink and lavender, the smell of autumn hanging in the air, he can convince himself that everything will be fine, bury it deep just as he usually does to focus and protect the people he loves.

Even the rounding of the corner to their dusty street is uneventful. They don’t pass anyone as they jog by Ushijima’s house, then Tendou’s almost a quarter mile later. The dark line of the forest is in sight, standing tall against the horizon. A thin stream of smoke rises in the distance, coming from the direction of their house. The night is getting colder, and Daichi has likely lit the fireplace with the tinderbox. 

Noya lets himself hope. Things will be fine, if he just holds out and trusts in the people he loves instead of doing it all himself. He lowers his eyes and lets himself rest while he still can. Right now, he’s not in a place to handle everything on his own, even if it would be easier that way.

But then they hear the shouting. Noya looks up. The stream of smoke has turned into a billowing cloud rising into the sky, and Noya’s heart sinks into his stomach. This is far beyond any fireplace fire. There’s a horrible chorus of voices, and a familiar muffled cry of anger and pain, so similar to the sounds of wounded animals that Noya has heard in the forest. The terrible swirl of black and gray smoke continues to rise into the sky. Suga looks at Tanaka, an understanding passing between the two of them. Pressed up against his back, Noya can feel Ryuu nod.

Then Suga breaks into a flat-out sprint, feet pounding against the ground as he pulls away from their little group. Tanaka can only run so fast with Noya on his back, and they both understand that. One of them has to go ahead.

“You should leave me and go after him,” Noya says, hating how sour the words taste on his tongue. It’s the exact opposite of what he wants. He wants to be running ahead with Suga, trying to see what’s happening. “If something’s happened, you should get there instead of me-”

“Something’s  _ already  _ happened, Noya,” Tanaka answers. “There’s no point in leaving you here, and why the hell would I do that when you literally got stabbed this morning? We’re in this together, you and I. That’s how it is.” He chuckles without any mirth. “Suga gave that whole speech about letting yourself be selfish, and you’re still trying to do the right thing.” He shifts Noya on his back as he talks, speeding up his pace as best he can. “What’s the point of doing the right thing against a bunch of bastards like these guys? You’re already better than them.” 

The stretch to the house continues to shorten. With every step, the shouting gets louder, but thankfully, there’s no more screams. Picking the voices apart, it sounds like two or three men, and he doesn’t hear Daichi, Suga, or Asahi. He knows for certain he’d recognize the sound of them. 

Eventually, Tanaka decides to forgo taking the main road, instead placing Noya over Tendou’s fence before slinging himself over. The horses are put away for the night, and so the area is devoid of life except for the crickets hidden among the grass. They creep through the fields carefully, heads ducked low as his friend supports Noya, even as he limps along. Tanaka, being the taller one, keeps peering over the fence until they catch sight of the house.

“Oh,  _ shit,” _ Tanaka breathes. Noya looks up, and he immediately wishes he hadn’t.

The home they’ve worked so hard to build is on fire. Flames cover half the side of the house, tongues of yellow and orange licking at the wood. The side of his house that holds their bedrooms is almost completely engulfed by the fire. In the dry autumn months, it’s easy for the wood to catch alight, especially with a little bit of lantern oil tossed onto the surface. Noya thinks of everything they’ve scrimped and saved for. Everything they’ve ever had is in that house, all the things they worked so hard for to call their own. And what makes him truly sick is the fact that from this view, he can’t see his family either. He has no idea what’s going on at the top of that hill, no matter how hard he cranes his neck.

He does exactly what he shouldn’t. He parts from Tanaka and vaults over the fencepost, holding his side with gritted teeth as his feet dig into the soil for purchase. He leaves Tanaka behind, stumbling up the hill even as blood sluggishly leaks through his carefully bandaged side. His friend calls after him, sprinting behind him, telling Noya to slow down or he’ll tear his stitches.

If only the bastards didn’t stab him. He would’ve made it here hours ago, and they’d be safe in Ushijima’s hayloft right now. Or if he didn’t decide to go to the bakery that morning. If he’d stayed in bed like Asahi wanted him to, cozy under the sheets and in each other’s arms. If he’d just done what Asahi needed him to do in the first place and kept his head held high instead of letting that  _ stupid _ insult get to him…

This is his fault. All of this. He repeats it to himself over and over again in his head. If he had just listened to what Asahi wanted him to do instead of thinking that he needed to do everything himself, then he wouldn’t be bleeding from his gut with no idea where the people he loves are. If they’re even alright.

He crests the top of the hill, scanning frantically for his brothers and Asahi. Thankfully, he finds Suga almost immediately, kneeling over Daichi. Daichi’s face is beaten and swollen, his lip split and a black eye marring his face. His nose is broken as well. Blood drips from the corners of his mouth, and he seems barely conscious as his partner hovers over him.

Suga shouts at a man, face twisted up in rage. In his hand is a knife from the apothecary, one Noya knows he uses for cutting up herbs, making them smaller so he can grind them into powder. It’s a dull blade, but it’s all he has to defend himself. The man advances toward them, arm extending out towards them. Gripped in his hand is a pistol. Suga gently places Daichi on the ground, using his body to shield his partner. Protecting Daichi until the end as he stares down the barrel of the gun, willing to forfeit his own life for the man he loves.

Noya can see it. The bullet will enter Suga’s body first. The bastard will shoot another round into his head just to make sure, and then he’ll move on to the practically helpless Daichi. How many times has he seen this cycle of death and worthless sacrifices? He’s sick of it. He just wants them to live, for Suga to even make a run for it instead of just standing there, protecting Daichi with his own flesh.

There’s nothing he can do right now. He can’t jump on the man’s back and attempt to wrestle the gun away from him. He can’t run and whoop to call the man away without risking Tanaka behind him. With the wound in his side, he is entirely helpless. 

_ God, please don’t make me watch them die, _ Noya prays to anyone who’s listening, if there’s even anyone up there who can hear his plea. Suga’s brown eyes dart to Noya, and he’s momentarily distracted by the sight of his little brother standing there, completely powerless. For a moment, his eyes soften. He’s not going to say anything, not when it could risk Noya’s life. His face says everything it needs to. That he loves him, and that he’s sorry they couldn’t spend more time together.

He can feel what’s about to happen in his bones, reaching the hand not holding his side towards the scene as if that will do something. Suddenly he is ten years old again, all alone in the vastness of the world. Nothing more than just another runaway with no one to ever love him, a little boy who has never known the warmth of a true family.

And then, like the world’s most demented angel, there is Tanaka. His friend, who has been lagging a few paces behind him, is racing past him. His feet dig into the ground as he sprints, letting out a war cry that is lost in the roar of the fire. Before the man with the gun can turn to look over his shoulder, Tanaka has sprung upon him and knocked him to the ground. He locks his arms around the man’s throat as the man struggles for purchase, the gun pinned under his belly where he has no access to its trigger.

“Noya!” Tanaka shouts. “His hands!”  
He limps over to him as fast as he can, falling to his knees to grab hold of the man’s wrists with what little strength he has. He secures one, clawing at Tanaka’s forearm as the man chokes and gags underneath him, face beginning to turn a sickly shade of purple. Tanaka grits his teeth, even as beads of blood begin to run from the scratches. Noya manages to take the other hand, holding the man’s wrists as best as he can manage. The man’s boots dig into the ground as he flails and kicks, but Tanaka is stronger than him. The kicks start to become weaker and tinier as they die out, his body relaxing against his will while his air supply recedes from his lungs. It can’t take more than a minute, but it’s a horrible minute of waiting, listening to his gasps get shallower as they hope for him to fall into the realm of unconsciousness.

Finally, he falls still. Noya drops his hands immediately, scrambling away from the man. Tanaka climbs off of him and starts retching loudly in the grass.

“Did I kill him?” His friend asks, looking up and wiping a trickle of vomit from the corner of his mouth. “I’ve never done anything like that, please tell me I didn’t just kill somebody-”

Noya feels for the pulse at the man’s wrist. “He’s alive.”  _ Unfortunately.  _ Right now, Noya could not give a single shit about morality. He recognizes this man as one of the ones in the alleyway, but it’s not the one who stabbed him. How this dumbass got his hands on a pistol, Noya has no idea.

Tanaka doesn’t seem to feel the same way about not murdering the man. Instead of glowering, he flops back onto the soil, laughing quietly with a crazed sort of relief that he didn’t kill a man.

In the meantime, Suga helps Daichi to his feet. The dark-haired man sways slightly before falling against Suga’s body, having trouble standing. Noya runs up to his brothers as best he can, throwing his arms around them. He practically collapses into their embrace, his tears dripping onto the collar of his shirt. He genuinely thought that they would never get to do this again, just the three of them. That he would be alone again.

“They came out of nowhere,” Daichi gasps, coughing in a way that indicated a cracked rib. “They broke a window to get in. Asahi tried to fight them, but they shot him so many times until even he couldn’t resist. Then they beat me and knocked me unconscious. Set the house on fire with me in it. I had to crawl out of there. He was keeping watch and just decided to beat me further.”

Tanaka joins them in the embrace, notably covered in grassstrains. He slings one arm around Noya for support, grinning from ear to ear, but he immediately notices the missing presence of one very large individual. “Where’s Asahi?” His face pales. “Oh  _ fuck,  _ are there more of them?”

“In the barn,” Daichi manages feebly. “The house is gone. But he’s not. They took him there. Told him if he fought that bastard over there would have someone shoot me to death.” He nods to the unconscious man on the ground, who apparently was meant to keep watch over Daichi. “I don’t know what they’re going to do to him. He went without a fight, with his head held high…”

“You should go,” Noya says. “You’re too hurt to stay here.”

“I’m staying,” Tanaka says firmly, popping his neck. Suga nods in approval, knowing there’s no convincing Noya of leaving. And with Tanaka at his side, he feels like he can do anything.

“We’ll go back to town and diffuse the situation. With the house being set on fire, everything’s changed. With you, they could pass it off as a simple street brawl that was interrupted by a monster. But now, they attacked Daichi, and everyone loves Daichi. They’re just a bunch of thugs. We’ll make a cover story for Asahi along the way. We can get Iwaizumi and Oikawa on our side. Hopefully, it’ll be enough. If it’s not, we’ll take the fall.”

“If all else fails, we’ll get Takeda. He’s great with persuasion, and people trust him.” A familiar determined glint is back in Daichi’s eyes. “We’ve lost the house, but we’ve got each other. That hasn’t changed from the old days. We’re still a family.”

Noya swallows. Even now, he knows he could die getting Asahi back. This could be the last time he ever sees his two brothers, and he’s no stranger to this sensation. Still, he continues to hug them tighter. He doesn’t want this to be goodbye.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, ignoring the thick feeling beginning to clog his throat. Now is no time for tears. “Always. Now get out of here.”

He is first to leave the embrace, walking over to the barn. He knows this barn well. He helped build it himself, and has spent every morning of the past three years taking care of the animals it holds. There’s no windows and so no way to see in. The door, however, is left open a crack. The padlock that he normally uses to protect his animals is broken, and the combined noise from the fire and the frantic clucking of the chickens is enough to cover his footsteps as he walks to the threshold. Tanaka stands guard over the man, making sure he doesn’t wake up prematurely.

Noya peers through the crack. The other two men have their backs to him, kicking at something. One of them moves to the side, and Noya has to struggle from bursting in there when he sees Asahi. They’ve tied him to one of the beams, coincidentally the same beam that he accidentally tossed Noya into. His face is covered in cuts and bruises. Some of the cuts look intentional, as if the men are determined to mark up his skin even more. His hair has fallen from its bun and cascades down his shoulders, matted with knots.

“Thought you were a demon,” one of them chuckles, landing a well-placed kick to his ribs. “Turns out you’re just a big ugly fag, huh? Stupid and weak.”

“And you’ll burn like everybody else.” The one who stabbed Noya leans down and places his knife inside of Asahi’s mouth, as if to slash open his cheek. Noya trembles in rage, but he does allow himself a small amount of satisfaction as he watches the slow, strained way the man moves from being thrown against the wall earlier than morning. Asahi grunts, and the man removes the knife from his mouth, the metal scraping against Asahi’s teeth.

“If you’re going to burn this, too, at least let the animals go.” Asahi sounds tired, exhausted in a way Noya has never heard. “Burn me. Kill me. It’s what I deserve. But let the goats and the chickens go.” He hasn’t noticed Noya yet, nor does Noya want him to.

He steps slowly away from the barn door, blood boiling with rage. Tanaka carefully walks up to him, grabbing his shoulder. His fingers dig into Noya’s skin, bringing him back to the present.

“Is he alive?” Tanaka asks.

“Would I be this calm if he wasn’t?” He means it in a lighthearted way, but he practically spits each of the words out. All of this is his fault.

“Since when are you calm?” His friend laughs quietly. Thankfully, the joke has stuck with him. Of all people, he’s grateful Tanaka’s the one here to help him.  _ Reliable  _ is not a word that many people would use for him, but it’s what Noya thinks of him as. Besides his brothers, who else has stayed at his side through thick and thin? Tanaka has known almost everything about him, things that his other friends would shudder to know of, and still remained as his best friend.

“So,” his friend says. “You got any ideas? How many of them are there?”

“Two. There’s only one entrance, and that means there’s only one exit. Thankfully, these guys aren’t tactical geniuses like you and I are. So I think our best course of action is one the one that we’re used to. And we’re used to the area.”

“You need me to be a distraction, don’t you?” They’ve done it plenty of times before, but nothing in as dire a situation as this one. Noya nods.

“Can you use the gun, if it comes to that?” He gestures to the pistol on the ground, discarded from where Tanaka pulled it out from under the unconscious man.

“I’m not going to wait for it to come to that.” Tanaka grits his teeth. “I’ll try not to kill him. Look, any wrong move, and you and Asahi are dead. And I really don’t want you to die, man.”

“Me neither.” Noya sighs, looking up at the stars. This could be the last sight he ever sees. The last beautiful thing. But he’d rather go out fighting for the person he loves than dead in the streets. “But I’ve lived a good life.”

“Stop talking like you’re going to die, or you will,” Tanaka grumbles. “Look, I’ll shoot one. Whichever one’s furthest away from Asahi. I’m not going to risk accidentally hitting him, because that would just be one big clusterfuck. You stay behind. I’ll get the other one to chase after me. I guarantee I’m faster than him. Then you and Asahi get the hell out of here and get to Tendou’s.”

“Go to the woods,” Noya offers. Tanaka doesn’t know it as well as he does, but then again, few do. Still, he’s been in this part enough times to navigate it familiarly.

“Got it.” Tanaka advances towards the barn door, his finger already on the trigger. Hopefully, the two men are still facing away from the door, and he won’t be seen. It kills Noya not to know what’s going on as he ducks away from the entrance, pressing his back to the barn’s wooden wall. Tanaka points, aims. He takes one last look back at Noya and jabs his head to get back into hiding.

He fires.

The pistol recoils, snapping back. Tanaka’s body jolts with the force of the shot, and then he shouts, whooping loudly. There’s a shatter of glass, a muffled cry, and the familiar pounding of feet. Tanaka starts running, cackling wildly. The barn door rips open as the man with the knife gives chase. Tanaka is already speeding ahead of him, though, but he lags slightly so as not to cause the man to give up and return to the barn. Noya counts to one hundred, even as his legs shake with the anticipation of freeing Asahi from his bonds. When he reaches ninety-nine, he gives up and makes his way to the barn door. His wound is still unfortunately bleeding.

The man he shot remains, laying on his stomach on the ground. The lantern he was holding is broken, and fire from the candle has spread to the dry hay. The barn is catching alight, the fire too large for him to stamp out. Asahi sees Noya and his eyes widen. 

“Nishi-”

“I’m here,” he says, rushing over to Asahi as best he can. He presses a kiss to the corner of his lover’s mouth. “I’m here, I’m not leaving. We’re getting out of here.” He limps around to the other side of the beam and starts freeing Asahi’s hands. He never should’ve let this happen to him, and he barely has enough time to fix everything. He didn’t do the one thing Asahi asked of him, and look where it got the two of them. Stabbed and beaten and tortured in their own home.

“The animals,” Asahi says. “Let them go. I’ll be fine.”

“But-” He’s not going to leave him here, among the fire that he wished to destroy himself with. The fire that haunts him to this day, the fire that Noya caused. He can't do the animals first, not with Asahi's biggest fear growing larger with every passing second. 

“With you here, I’m not afraid.” Noya can’t see his face, but he can picture it. The determined set of Asahi’s mouth, the smallness of his pupils in the irises of his eyes. “With the animals, the three of you can live through the winter.”

The man facedown on the barn floor gurgles, drawing their attention to him.

“And him, too,” Asahi adds. “What’s a few more burns and scars for me? I’ve known a lot of pain.”

Noya struggles to untie the knot around Asahi’s wrists. It’s too thick, and he has no knife to cut through it. He may genuinely have to leave him here. All he can do is loosen it and hope that it will be enough. He curses himself for not being strong enough, for being weak and stupid and far too headstrong.

“No,” Noya says, Suga’s words about letting himself be selfish ringing through his head. “No, I’ve got to get you out of here. That bastard can die here.”

“And we’ll be right back where we started from,” Asahi says gently. “Please. I don’t want any more blood on my hands. Leave me. I’ll be alright.”

He pauses, loosening the bonds a little bit more. He has to do this, because he doesn’t want to disobey any more of Asahi’s requests, especially when he asks for so little. Even now, he’s trying to save Noya, thinking ahead for everyone. And Noya loves him for it, but also hates him for being so damn selfless despite everything the world has thrown at him. 

Reluctantly, Noya presses a kiss to his forehead. Even though he doesn’t want to, he leaves Asahi, casting a look over his shoulder before releasing the goats. They all tear out of their pen and into the little roadway. He knows they won’t go far, no matter how frightened they are. Then he limps to the chicken coop and leaves the door open. He can’t waste time rounding all of them up without risking Asahi more than he already has. 

He drags the body of the gurgling man out of the barn as half of it is overtaken by the fire. It’s slow and exhausting  work, and he has to pull with only his arms instead of his whole body. The heat makes sweat drip down his back, and he feels a little bit like a melting wax effigy. He can feel his stitches tearing a little more with every step, and it takes him an agonizingly long time to get the body from the back of the barn to outside of it. 

He manages to place him beside his unconscious friend, but not before kicking him in the ribs for good measure. It may be a childish thing to do, but right now, he really doesn’t care. He’s allowed to still be angry over the events of this morning. If it were up to him, he’d leave the man to burn, but Asahi is a far better person than Nishinoya. 

Noya limps back to the barn, still holding his side. His breaths come in small puffs, uneven and shallow from the pain. He hurts in a way he never has before, and he’s close to falling to his knees. Only sheer force of will is keeping him on his feet right now.

When he weakly pushes open the barn door, the fire has overtaken almost every surface. The hay he uses to feed the animals is entirely ablaze, and the goat pen is destroyed. He can’t see Asahi through the smoke and the flames. He can barely see the beam itself. His heart sinks to his stomach as he thinks of Asahi burning, just as he said he wished to do before he left Noya that terrible night, those ominous words hanging in the air between them.

“‘Sahi!” Noya cries, the heat beating against his face as he pushes forward. He knows Asahi should be straight ahead, but there’s no response. He shouts and screams for Asahi, even as flames lick at his feet. A beam from the ceiling collapses behind him, blocking him off from the door. Even if he does find Asahi, how are they supposed to get out of here? Panic swells in his chest, but he forces it down, trying to focus on finding Asahi in the mess of flames and smoke.

_ We’re going to die here.  _ He can’t accept it. Won’t accept it. This is not where his life will end.

“Asahi!” This time, his voice comes far shriller this time. He stands in the middle of the burning barn, scanning frantically for the man he loves, but the fire is too much and he can hardly see through the haze of smoke in front of him. The smoke stings at his eyes, making cold tears drip onto his heat-flushed skin. He furiously wipes them away. “Where are you?”

“I’m here,” Asahi rasps, coming from the direction of the pillar. He stands at his full height, making his way over to Noya. His shirt is soaked with sweat and blood from his many gunshot wounds, but he’s alive, gloriously alive in front of Noya. “I managed to get my wrists free, thanks to you. The flames were...a little too close.” 

Noya runs to him as best he can and collapses against him, falling into his broad chest. “Why’d Tanaka have to shoot the guy with the lantern?” He asks, but it lacks any actual bitterness. His friend did what he had to do, and because of it, he’s safe here in the arms of the person he loves. Maybe  _ safe _ isn’t the right word, but Asahi is freed from his bonds and alive. Moving weakly, so weakly compared to his usual powerful motions, but  _ alive.  _ And that’s what matters most of all. Noya hasn’t failed. He can blame himself all he wants when this is over, but he hasn’t lost.

Asahi picks Noya up, sensing that he’s seconds away from his legs collapsing from under him. On his hands, Noya can see the ropeburn from where he pulled his wrists free, scraping over the scars and rubbing his skin raw. It doesn’t seem to bother him. “You’ve moved too much,” he murmurs into Noya’s neck. “Let me take care of you now.”

He walks towards the door, pushing through the flames as best he can, shielding Noya against the heat. He steps over the burning beam with those impossibly long legs, even as the flames light at his calves. He hisses against the pain, but still, he does not falter, determined to carry Noya to safety. Noya knows that once he would’ve stared at the flames, paralyzed with fear, but now Asahi is driven. Those nights he stood staring at the fire and contemplating his death seem to be long gone now. The person he was has eroded away over time, and in its place is a better man. Noya nestles closer to him, ignoring the fact that his heart is beating like a frightened rabbit’s. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t still terrified of what could still happen.

He pushes open the door with his shoulder and they meet the cool night air. Asahi walks a few more paces away from the barn, towards the two wounded men, and then collapses, exhausted. He falls to his knees, chest heaving. Noya drops from his arms and bats at the flames burning the cloth to Asahi’s legs.

“Roll,” he insists, and Asahi does, rolling slightly away from him. He settles in the grass, the fire extinguished. Noya drags himself over to him, draping himself over Asahi’s body, where he can hear the steady thump of his heartbeat, reassuring him that he’s alive. That he didn’t lose Asahi in that barn. “Are you alright?”

“What’s a few more scars?” Asahi asks, almost to himself. He lays one hand on the small of Noya’s back, staring up at the sky.“Let’s not do anything like this again, my love.”

“Yeah,” Noya agrees. “Never again.” It’s really all he can say. He’s exhausted.

He opens his mouth to apologize. This whole thing is his fault. They’ve lost everything. Asahi almost died because of him. He doesn’t even know where to begin with it all.

Asahi must sense how he’s feeling, because he holds him a little bit closer. “Don’t say anything,” he whispers. “Not right now. We’re alright, and that’s...that’s all I need.”

Noya buries his face into Asahi’s chest, safe in his embrace, and doesn’t look any more at the world burning around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one came out a little later than I wanted it to, but I wanted to produce something I could be really proud of. There were a lot of fun parallels and symbolism that I took from Frankenstein and I just really enjoyed writing this chapter, even if I did rewrite it twice. My betas have been truly invaluable during this. I love you all so much. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much I did!
> 
> Follow me on twitter @wormfanatic and tumblr @worm-fanatic


	15. Chapter 15

In the end, it is Tendou who finds them, at last aware of the burning building. He finds them draped across one another, too exhausted to move. Blood leaks steadily from Asahi’s wounds, sluggish and thick, and both of them are burnt from the flames. Noya’s whole body hurts, his stab wound sending bolts of pain throughout his body whenever he so much as moves. It’s miserable here, laying half-dead, hoping the men that they defended themselves against won’t wake up before help arrives.

And help does arrive, but not after what feels like hours of waiting, hoping that Asahi’s chest will continue to rise and fall below him. Praying that the man he loves will survive every bullethole, every burn upon his skin that succeeds in mangling him even more.

There’s a small crew of their friends that come to pick them up. Tanaka successfully sneaks away from his pursuer and returns to the barn to carry Noya back to town. Ushijima, arriving from his own home after he noticed how late they were to the hayloft, has to drape Asahi over his shoulders to carry him. Even that is a struggle, occasionally handing the big man off to Aone with a low grunt. It’s slow-moving work, and Noya is barely conscious for most of it. He fades in and out, cracking some horrible joke at Tanaka to let his friend know he’s alive before slipping back into the realm between sleep and awake. He’s never been in pain like this before, but yet, he’s so out of it that the gentle rocking of his body in Tanaka's arms is enough to keep him relaxed.

Once they make it to the town, they’re taken to the inn, where Ukai has prepared a large room as a hospital room for the two of them and Daichi. As they walk through the square, he hears a low, distant jeer, which he knows will be swiftly silenced by Aone’s very presence. Just as he predicted, the jeer cuts off and Tanaka snickers, mumbling  _ coward  _ under his breath.

He knows this part of town so well he can practically count the steps to the inn, and he focuses on those instead of the shouting that has begun. He can’t pick out much in his state, but he can hear the distinctive cry of the word  _ monster.  _ He hears Tendou arguing with someone, something about torture and arson and attempted murder before the door to the inn shuts behind them. He’d recognize the distinctive whine of those hinges anywhere.

Then he knows warmth and soft sheets, his aching body suddenly covered by blankets, and Ennoshita’s steady voice, bringing him back to some semblance of reality.

“Noya? Noya, can you hear me?” He cracks one eye open to see his friend hovering above him, mouth drawn and face paler than normal.

“Hey, doc,” Noya says weakly. Ennoshita laughs nervously, clearly more worried than he was letting on.

“I just did these stitches too, and then you had to tear them? You’re too much.” The attempt at humor is weak, but it’s quickly salvaged by Tanaka.

“It’s because he’s a damn city boy,” Tanaka says, pulling up a wobbly stool to sit beside him. “How’re you feeling?”  
“What do you think? Like I’m ready to frolic among the hills,” Noya says, but then Ennoshita pours some alcohol on the stab wound and there is _definitely_ going to be no frolicking.

After cleaning the wound, his friend stitches him up again. It hurts like hell, but he’s too tired to even scream past the towel he’s biting down on. He’s more worried about Asahi, who has to have bullets plucked from his organs and even more sutures stretching across his thighs, his chest, his abdomen. He can hear Sakusa working diligently to remove the bullets the next bed over, and hopes for the best.

He turns his head over to look at the man he loves. Loose hair splays across the pillow, and Asahi’s eyes are closed. He must’ve passed out sometime after they made it outside of the barn. Sakusa has his forceps roaming around inside Asahi’s flesh, searching for the bullet. Even him, who is one of the cleanest people Noya knows, has blood on his leather gloves and splattering the front of his white linen apron.

Noya can’t dwell on much else besides their injuries, even when Ukai comes in to mention that some constable wants to ask him questions about the incident, bringing clean sheets and blankets with him. Noya’s just so unbelievably tired at this moment, more than he ever thought possible for someone with as much energy as he normally has. Not even in the streets was he wounded this bad. He feels far older than his nineteen years right now, barely able to move. Every part of his body screeches in pain, and he can’t even sit up at the moment. How is he even going to piss, let alone talk to some officer he’s never heard of? He didn’t even know this town had real law enforcement.

That, however, is the least of his worries as Asahi remains unconscious. Sakusa continues to work methodically, the calm expression on his face relaying no emotion. Noya watches them while half-asleep, his eyes flying open as soon as Asahi makes the tiniest of movements. Tanaka has fallen asleep on the stool, snoring. There’s no sign of Daichi and Suga, who are likely in charge of damage control somewhere, which is all for the best. Noya has never been good with lies, not like they are.

The hours drag by agonizingly slow. He practically memorizes the pattern of the wood grain on the wall, and Sakusa is still working away, rubbing some kind of salve into Asahi’s burned legs. Ennoshita leaves the room to go get more medicine from the apothecary. It is then that Noya decides to break the wall of ice that has formed between him and the surgeon, the question eating away at him.

“So,” Noya begins. “You know about him?”

“Of course I know. I wouldn’t be a good doctor if I didn’t recognize the signs immediately. He doesn’t quite fit together. Yes, he’s got all of his parts. Everything that makes a human being function. But his blood is strange, and the way his organs are placed into his gut seem...off. As if they weren’t made for him. So I know what he is. It’s not hard to figure out.”

“You won’t tell?”  
“What kind of surgeon would I be if I told that mob outside? Hippocratic Oath and all that.” Sakusa furrows his dark brow as he steps away from the still-unconscious Asahi. He begins to speak far more quietly, as if protecting them from any eavesdroppers that may be hovering outside the door’s room. “Whoever did this did it for their own gain, with no regard for the consequences. There is no monster here, no matter what the people say. Just a man who seems to have quite a large heart, despite whatever horrors he encountered in the past.” He peers at Noya. “I saw you two at the party. It was practically impossible not to, what with him being so _big_ and all. But any fool could see the way he looked at you, like you were the sun rising and he was a blind man seeing it for the first time. And the monsters I know of do not look at people like that. They’re far more subtle.”

Sakusa begins to clean his forceps in the bucket of water, polishing them with a clean rag as he continues to speak. “Don’t worry. All the bullets are removed and I’ve treated the burns the best I can. When the constable comes, I’ll tell him there’s nothing out of the ordinary, just that you mentioned he has a rare blood disorder that makes his blood look like that.”

“Think they’ll buy it?”  
“Do you see any other doctor in this room? And if they question Ennoshita separately, I’ll make sure to inform him beforehand. In fact, I’ll tell him now. He’s with your brothers, and I want to make sure our stories are consistent.” Sakusa sweeps out of the room, as elegantly as one can while splattered in blood. “Don’t move too much,” he says over his shoulder before shutting the door behind him.

Noya studies Asahi’s still-sleeping form, willing him to wake up. What will he do if Asahi doesn’t wake? Was their help too late? Should he have picked himself up and dragged himself to Tendou’s house instead of just laying there?

_ Don’t think about that now. C’mon, remember. Don’t start thinking about tomorrow when the sun hasn’t set on today and all that. He’ll wake up. He has to. _

He tries not to think about the things he won’t ever get to experience again if Asahi doesn’t wake up. The curve of a small smile, a close-lipped laugh, the feel of Asahi’s hand in his, the scratch of stubble against his collarbone as he’s peppered with delicate kisses. The way those eyes melt when he sees Noya, the cadence of his steps, the bated breath as he lowers himself into a chair, hoping it doesn’t break; the happy sigh of contentment whenever he eats anything with pork in it.

Noya loves Asahi like he’s never loved anyone else. The thought of that, the very  _ feeling  _ of it, is terrifying. But losing him? Losing him because Noya couldn’t obey one simple request, when Asahi never asks for anything? It’s enough to make him sick. All of this, this bed and the people outside, the blood on Sakusa’s apron that he can’t stop thinking about-this is his fault.

Was it only two days ago that they were dancing around the tavern, surrounded by friends and living a life without judgement? Looking up at the stars in the alley outside Oikawa’s shop? So much has changed and it is all because of him, because of his own impulsiveness that he can’t help. What did doing the right thing get him? Nothing this time around.

“I’m not the best with love. Or words. Neither are you, and I think that’s okay,” he whispers to Asahi’s still form. “But you’re strong. Maybe you’re not the best with people or things like that, but I don’t care. You’ve been through enough to make anyone hurt. And if you don’t wake up, I’m not going to forgive you. Because I gave you my heart, and it would really suck to live the rest of my life without it.” As soon as he finishes saying it, he cringes. That was the worst attempt at romance of all time. He’s seen Yamaguchi, perhaps one of the most inexperienced people when it comes to love, stutter through better confessions. 

His ineptitude with words is really going to stab him in the back someday. Noya shuts his eyes, sighing through his nose.  _ Maybe if I get some sleep he’ll wake up. _

“I’d really like it if you, uh, didn’t get angry at me for dying,” the rumbling voice from the other bed murmurs. “I kind of can’t help that.”

Noya opens his eyes and sees Asahi looking at him, his eyes so soft and full of love. His brown hair half-falls over his face, and the bags under his eyes practically cut into his gray skin, but he’s alive. Gloriously alive and nestled into the blankets with his feet sticking out from the end. With a pang in his heart, Noya thinks of the extra-long blanket, lost to the house fire, but it’s quickly forgotten because Asahi is right here, whole and awake and alive. That’s really all he can ask for.

“You woke up,” he says.

“I woke up. And I’ll be honest, I listened to your whole speech there.” He blushes. “A-And, you know you’ve got my heart too. Even if it’s well...manmade.”

“I could care less about that,” Noya says, and he’d be lying if he said his eyes didn’t water a little bit at that statement. “I love you. No matter what you think of yourself as, I’ll love you anyway. No matter what they say. I love you and that's definitely not gonna change.” What he longs to do is drag himself from this bed and go to Asahi’s to curl against him, to touch him and reassure him he’s there. But he can’t move, so he settles for looking at him, the gap between their beds somehow impossibly wide.

“I want to think of myself as a man. I want to see myself in the way you see me. But I can’t. Not when they called me a monster.” Asahi swallows, hesitating. “They called me worse things than that. Monster I have heard countless times. But words like devil. Demon. Unnatural. A-abomination.” He stutters out the last word, its meaning too painful. Each word he utters comes out slow and strained as he struggles to say what he needs to. “And I thought I’d gotten used to it. I thought I was strong enough to endure it. The looks and the way people draw away from me, the way they study me like I’m some kind of exotic animal. That I can live with. But the words? I don’t think I can, because they’re right. I’m a danger. I am a monster. I shouldn’t be alive-”

“Stop it,” Noya says. “Don’t say that. I know it’s hard, but don’t let them get your hooks in you. If you think people have to look at you and be afraid, then you’re just creating another obstacle for yourself. You’re proving those bastards right. The obstacles you’ve got in your brain, the things you tell yourself… I can’t make those go away. But everything else, I’ll make it go away. I’m here to protect you. And just saying, even if you give up on yourself, I won’t ever give up on you. As long as I live, I promise you. I’ll never let you fall.”

He reaches out for Asahi then, attempting to close the space between their beds. His fingers find Asahi’s, the calloused pads of their fingertips brushing together. They stay like that for a while, the only noise in the room is their own breathing and Tanaka’s uneven snores.

“You bring out the best parts of me,” Asahi says at last. “The parts of me that want more than anything to be human.”

“Don’t you see it, you big dope? You’re human in every way that matters.” He tries his hardest to jokingly grin. “And if I believe it, then, well, it’s gotta be true.”

Asahi doesn’t seem to find any humor in it. Instead, he furrows with a dark look on his face. “Would you have loved me if my father’s visions came true? If I was the start of a new species, paraded around for all to see? The...the furthest thing from human something could be?”

“Yeah. You bet I would’ve. You still would’ve been miserable, and somehow, some way, I’d have found you. And I would’ve seen that look on your face, because you wear that glass heart of yours on your sleeve, and man. I would’ve figured out exactly how human you are, and I’d have found a way to steal you away. Like the villain in a storybook does to the princess.” Noya’s forced smile turns into a real one, delightfully wicked and catlike. “And you know I can’t help rescuing a beautiful damsel in distress.”

Asahi flushes, all the way up to his ears and down his neck, long lashes grazing at his skin while he blinks, lowering his eyes. Noya keeps smiling, burying his head into his pillow. The silence he normally despises is so wonderful when they’re like this, just the two of them with nothing more to say. 

As much as he likes noise, he hates words, preferring to express his emotions through actions instead of strings of sentences looped together. So instead of speaking any more, he hooks his pinky around Asahi’s, dropping and relaxing his arm. They hang there, connected only by their knuckles for a long while.

“I love you,” Asahi says at last. “And I want to take care of you like you take care of me, but I feel too weak. I love the tempest that you are, but I feel so inadequate compared to you sometimes.”

“Asahi, I love you because you’re not like me. I mean, there’s a lot more reasons that I love you, but you don’t have to be like me. I love you for you. I told you I loved your scars, and I meant all of them.” He reaches out further, taking Asahi’s hand fully in his own. As he shifts to look at him, he sees the silent tears running down his lover’s cheeks, a relieved, teary smile on his face.

“Will you stay with me?” Asahi asks. “No matter what happens to me? To us, after all of this is over? I know that’s asking a lot, but...” He trails off.

“I was already planning on it,” Noya answers, the tears that have been threatening to come finally flowing freely onto his cheeks. “I knew that as soon as you came back to me, I wasn’t going to let you go.”

And so they stay like that, linked only by their hands.

Together.

* * *

A few days later, the constable comes in to question them. Sakusa had managed to successfully fill them in on their cover story, using a letter that he tucked among some clean sheets for their beds. The story is that Asahi was a child with a rare disorder, one still being researched among people far more qualified. His scars came from the abuse he suffered as a young child. 

The rest of the story is mostly the truth: Noya fought a man for calling Asahi a freak, and so they beat him as revenge.Then Asahi appeared to rescue him, and the men were afraid and called him a devil, then riled up the townspeople. Sakusa graciously explains that they saw his blood and grew afraid, not knowing that it was natural for someone of Asahi’s unique condition. However, the stabbing of Noya, Asahi’s torture, and the burning of their property is not going to go unpunished.

“Your animals were gathered by your neighbors and are on their farms,” the constable said. “I took the reports from them. You are quite lucky to have escaped this situation alive, sir.”

“I know,” Asahi responds. The constable peers down at him, eyes narrowing slightly as he studies him, taking the man in for himself.

“Your story is certainly unique.”

“My father was not a good person, and that...has affected me for much of my life. He certainly wanted to mold me into something he wanted.” Asahi stares at the wooden floorboards, finally up and sitting in a sturdy chair. Noya sits beside him, meeting the constable’s firm gaze. “But I assure you, sir. I am not what my father made me to be.”

“Far from it,” Noya adds, but the constable ignores him and focuses on Asahi.

“The stories certainly match up, and we have multiple witness accounts. I believe I can clear you of any suspicion. And I am truly sorry for the loss of your home.” He puts his hat back on and leaves. And that is the end. They are free, it seems.

The next few months involve lots of healing and working to regain the things they’ve lost. The burns on Asahi’s legs scar, as does the knife wound on Noya’s stomach. That spot, just above his hip bones, becomes Asahi’s favorite place to kiss. There are many nights spent in their room in the tavern, limbs tangled together after days full of work. 

Noya works odd jobs and shifts at the Tanakas’ tavern in order to rebuild their home, and Asahi throws himself into his job at Iwaizumi’s farm, working as hard as he can. Daichi and Suga decide to move into town to be closer to their businesses, but Noya and Asahi agree that they want to stay on their land, rebuilding the barn and the house. Tendou takes care of the animals, his horses enjoying the company of the goats. He even decides to buy little Waka from them, much to Ushijima’s chagrin. Dinner at Tendou’s cottage happens a lot, when Atsumu and Aone and Daichi come over to build with Noya and Asahi, nights with full bellies and lots of alcohol, dinners that go long into the night as more people come over. Asahi even helps with the cooking, offering to do the dishes like the gentleman he is.

The house is finished six months later, just before the high heat of the summer. What was once wood is now stone, and Atsumu carves the wooden posts inside with crows and thunderclouds and fields of wheat. They build the new farmhouse with high ceilings and wide door frames, so that Asahi no longer has to duck every time he goes through a door. They fill a chest with new clothes, build a new fireplace, and place Noya’s box on top of the mantle. Their home takes time and money, and much of their furnishings are gifts and hand-me-downs, but Noya could care less. He has never had this much in his life.

At night, when they don’t go out drinking with their friends, they come home to one another. Osamu taught Asahi a little bit of cooking while they stayed at the tavern, waiting for their home to be rebuilt. So it is Asahi fixes meals before they sit down at their tiny but tall table, sturdy benches for each of them. Noya eats and always goes back for seconds. There’s many nights that he brings home bread or pork buns from the bakery to go with their supper, and they wrap their leftovers in cheesecloth to save for the next day’s lunch. Asahi eats with his specially made utensils, ones made for him by Bokuto. They were given as a gift, because Asahi will go to the forge whenever anything too heavy for Bokuto needs to be lifted. Apparently, it’s a lot. Noya begins to suspect that Bokuto just enjoys Asahi’s company, but anyone would be a fool not to like Asahi. Hinata is the same way, and when his little sister Natsu finally arrives, she enjoys the patience of the gentle giant as she braids his hair.

After dinner, sometimes with Daichi and Suga, they lay on a couch gifted by Oikawa and Iwaizumi, Asahi sketching with stubs of pencil on scraps of paper or reading him a story. Noya loves to lay against his chest and listen to the beating of his heartbeat and the rumble of his chest as he speaks. Of course, there are evenings where they take a new extra-large blankets and lay outside under the cover of the stars, cuddling and kissing as the crickets chirp around them.

Some days, when neither of them have to work, they return to the forest and picnic by the river. Asahi sketches while Noya fishes, and he’s reminded of the early days of their relationship, when they only saw each other in the safety of the leaves. Asahi, sweet and sentimental as ever, will wade in the banks to find river rocks the color of Noya’s eyes. They put them in the box on the mantle, and when Noya finds himself alone at night, missing Asahi when he has to work later, he turns the stones over in his palms, wrapping himself in one of their many blankets so he can have his scent close to him.

It is a good life. A quiet life, the kind that Noya never thought he would enjoy. And inevitably, the months pass, as they are meant to do. 

Kiyoko and Ryuu marry in the fall, surrounded by autumn leaves and their adoring friends and family. Much like the engagement party, it happens at the tavern. The dancing and the singing goes long into the evening, and Asahi whirls Noya around like he weighs nothing at all, waltzing to whatever they can. He’s grown significantly better at dancing, and Noya no longer has to guide him in the steps. Ushijima fails to reclaim his title as championship of drunken arm wrestling, and afterwards, instead of going all the way home, they go to Daichi and Suga’s little house and fall asleep on the floor. When Noya wakes up the next morning, he finds Daichi and Asahi cooking breakfast together while Suga watches, sipping a mug of tea.

And as time goes by, a year and then another, Nishinoya finds himself growing restless. The world is so big, and as much he loves this place, it is far too small for him. So he asks Asahi a question one morning, when both of them are bleary-eyed and half-asleep.

“Would you like to see the world with me?” He says, Asahi nestled in his embrace, his hair tickling Noya’s nose.

“Where would you like to go?”

“I’ve never seen the sea,” Noya says. “I think I’d like to fish there. Catch the biggest fish there ever was, and stay there just for a little while. Just to get away.” He waits for his lover to respond with bated breath.

“I’d love that,” Asahi answers, and rolls over to kiss Noya. “I’ve never seen the sea either. All that blue would be so wonderful to paint.”

“And think of the food! I bet the locals know how to cook.” Noya can’t help the wild smile that spreads across his face. “We can bring back gifts for everybody and maybe some little things to put around the house.” He pauses, eyes lighting up with a sudden realization. “And we’ve gotta go somewhere there’s seals! I love seals!”

“We can go wherever you wish, my love,” Asahi says, pulling Noya on top of him. Noya tangles his hands in Asahi’s hair, something he’s never grown tired of even after all the time they’ve spent together. “I can think of nothing better than seeing the world by your side. I have seen so much of it alone in the shadows.” He kisses Noya’s brow. “Thank you for everything you do. For helping me see how beautiful the world can be.”

“It’s too early in the morning for you to be this sappy,” Noya says, but he doesn’t protest any more when Asahi continues to kiss him, pulling the blankets over their heads.

* * *

Their trips take them across the continent, taking horses or carriages. They save their money over the years and enjoy their weeks spent by the sea, or drinking tea in the city. They hike along cliffs and watch sunrises together, Noya upon Asahi’s shoulders. Everywhere they go, they attract looks, but by then, Asahi has finally begun to heal and grow from the horrors inflicted upon him, so much so that the staring no longer bothers him. No longer do they make his heart sink into his stomach and his body shake, his palms growing sweaty the longer they linger. These are all things Noya notices, and he notices with pride when the anxiety that has plagued Asahi his whole life gradually begins to fade.

They make a strange pair, the scarred giant and the small man with the streak of yellow in his hair, but they wouldn’t have it any other way. And they both live a life together that neither of them could’ve ever imagined when they were at their lowest, a boy in the grime of the street and a creature alone in the woods.

But things are not always perfect. They must come to an end.

As normal people do, decades going by, Noya begins to age. Asahi does as well, but his body progresses in years far slower than Noya’s. And before either of them knew it, after lives well-lived by one another’s side, Noya’s hair grows white, his skin wrinkled. And then it is Asahi, only a few streaks of gray in his dark hair and his scars fading with time, that begins to tell him how beautiful he is, kissing his paper-thin skin and liver spots with the tenderness that Noya knows so well. He carries him from room to room when Noya can no longer walk, and prepares for the day that his lover will pass. By then, many of their friends are gone, taken peacefully, and they do not long for any more days together.

Both of them are grateful for the time they’ve had. Time neither of them ever expected. Time they took day by day, time that they relished in each other’s arms. Time that they could love and be loved, just as they wished for.

And just as a younger Asahi feared, Noya is the one to pass first. And as much as the giant grieves, he understands that this is the way of things, and is grateful for the time he spent with the man he loves. 

Asahi takes Noya’s small body to the woods with even more tenderness than usual, and buries him under the tree he slept under in those cold nights in the woods, among the roots of the tree that sheltered the two of them when they first met. And he spends many days there, bringing the gifts of crumpled orange wildflowers and acorns in the fall, just as he did before, when they were apart.

And now, when he is alone in the woods this time, he does not fear, because he is still with the man he loves. Instead, he speaks to him just as he always has, and hopes he is listening.

Kiyoko and Tanaka’s grandchildren, and then their great-grandchildren, take care of him when he is lonely, and he cooks and sketches for them as they play with his white and gray hair, which he has long since stopped wearing back in a bun. He sees his old friends in their eyes, in the playful whoop of a young girl or in the small mole on the cheek of a boy, and he smiles, because even if everyone is gone, he still has them in the smallest of ways. 

With them, he often visits the cemetery and teaches the gaggle of children not to fear it, for the people they love are resting here, still watching over them as best they can. And so they know, many years later, when the great-grandchildren have children of their own, what he has gone to do when he isn’t in his cottage one day, when the fields around his home are empty. 

They know of the grave in the forest and the gifts left there. And just as expected, they find him in the woods, against the base of the tree with a contented smile on his face, happy with the beautiful life he lived. They bury him beside Nishinoya, beside the person he loved the most, and leave their own little gifts there for the two lovers, together at last.

And even years later, there are some nights where the people of the town swear that Azumane Asahi and Nishinoya Yuu remain in the place that both of them could truly call home. 

They swear they hear a mischievous giggle that carries with it promises of mischief, then a low noise of surprise that quickly turns into laughter. 

Or the sounds of footsteps, one light and one far more heavy, dancing in the grass to music unheard by normal ears, accompanied by loving whispers.

And the smell of pages burning, a smell that carries the lingering memory of a first kiss under the cover of starlight.

So they are not forgotten, the creature from the wood, kind-hearted and gentle and strong beyond belief; and the man who loved him the likes of which one could scarcely imagine.

* * *

_ “Thus strangely are our souls constructed, and by such slight ligaments are we bound to prosperity or ruin.” _

_ -Mary Shelley _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long two months, but it's finally finished. I've been delaying writing the ending because I wanted to make it right, and I'm incredibly proud of this entire story. I never meant for it to be this long, but it's well worth it. Thank you all so much.
> 
> I never expected this outpouring of support for this work, and I'm forever grateful to everyone who has commented and given kudos. My betas are the most wonderful people alive and the help they have given me is incredible, I don't have the words to thank them. And a thank you to Furudate, for the characters you have created. I hope I treated them well.
> 
> Again, thank you all so much. I genuinely don't know what else to say, besides that I think I'm going to take a very long nap.
> 
> Follow me on twitter @wormfanatic & tumblr @worm-fanatic


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